Welcome to Olivia's Daughter....a blog that I created in March 2010 to document my blessed journey of healing. Since I began this blog, my mother has gone home to be with the Lord along with my son, Chris Reshaud Jordan, who was murdered in October 2009. After these two devastating events, I felt forsaken by God. I cried out to the Lord seeking my purpose in life. Throughout this experience, I had to make the choice to surrender to a life of worthlessness or to live my life to the fullest, a life filled with abundance and love.


God has strengthened me. I am seeking Him daily and and working to live in His will which is leading me to my purpose and passion. I think of Chris and Olivia constantly, but I have turned this over to God. I want God to use me as his vessel giving Him the glory.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Uncomplicated

OK, It’s me again, coming back sooner than later !

I am always grateful to God for his mercy, grace and his favor. He has shown me and my family such kindness. He is helping us heal and find His peace. I thank God for His love, so abundant. Today is a wonderful day ! I find God’s love to be so amazing. He loves like no other.

Yes, today is wonderful. My workday is uncomplicated, non stressful. Actually on break, sitting here listening to Pandora (ear plugs). This week thus far has been good for me and coworkers. Our agency will be going through a restructuring soon, our agency is working to save jobs. I trust God that they are, my employer is good at retaining employees during financial difficulties. Agency is waiting to see how State cuts will affect us directly. Keep our agency is prayer, as we work to help families and children in the community.

Yesterday’s workout was awesome. She pushed us and encouraged us to do our best workout. I burned, in a big way. I can do 40 jumping jacks without modification, this is good for me, and then after that I have to modify. I am thanking God for this. I can do scissors but they are not good for my knees, so I modify. I have not done Zumba in a week, and will not tonight. Maybe Thursday, I will workout with the Zumba crew. This morning when I weighed in I had lost yet another pound. Yes 2 mornings in a row I have lost a pound. Total 28 lbs lost since March 1st . This is encouraging. This is the weight I was when I starting working out with True Image a few years ago. Which is not so encouraging ! I am pushing past all negativity that enters my head. I am working it God gives me the strength and courage. It is like I am beginning all over again, now. So I have set new weigh loss goals for myself. Long term immediate goal is 31 more lbs. So I am ½ way there. After I reach the 31 more pound loss, I will reassess and set new goals. This time I am not beating up on myself, I am lost slowly but gradually, more rapidly if I drink my water. I am noticing I am eating nice portions, 3 fruits per day and not having a lot of bread/carbs some but not a lot. For example, if I drive through Burger King, I get grilled chicken and eat 1 piece of the bun. This helps me a lot. I plan to go for a walk tomorrow evening. I may be getting off early tomorrow so I may be able to make the 5 o’clock exercise class. This would be excellent. I could possibly get in 4 True Image workouts this week.

I got some new eye shadow pallet delivered yesterday, really nice colors for Spring/Summer. I want the Urban Decay Naked pallet, I love the netural tones. I may reward myself after I lose 10 more lbs. Yes, this will push and encourage me. I also picked up a new pair of shoes yesterday, I like them a lot, and they are comfortable. I picked up Jayden some spring/summer outfits.

Until I blog again, See Ya !

Monday, May 23, 2011



Hello Hello Hello

It’s a new day, it’s a new season, a fresh anointing coming my way !

I feel so encouraged, I give all thanks to God for giving me the gift of life. Each day I work on appreciating life and being respectful to God. I feel like pressing on and moving forward.

I have not blogged in about a week. Today I committed myself to writing about God’s goodness as I go through this journey. I am so encouraged to live a life pleasing to God. Well Saturday was the day that one man had said would be God’s rapture. Well the one thing I know about the Bible is the scriptures that discuss the rapture. My father was a minister and when he preached the rapture surely came up. And I remember No man knoweth the day time or the hour. Sooooooooooooooooo what was this guy talking about, I did not give it a lot of energy as I heard other’s discussing it. Someone very close to me was concerned and scared, I had a talk with them and discussed it. Then I was pleased to let them know that when God comes it will be a GOOD thing, a real GOOD thing and that there was nothing to worry about. To be in God’s present’s would be amazing. After the loses in my life I know this life is so temporary, so I let go of a lot of the fears I had about death. I do know I believe in God and the resurrection and I love the Lord and I plan to see God when he is ready for me.

My mother was not afraid of death, never once did she acknowledge to me that she was scared. She was prepared to meet her maker. She had been saved with the holy spirit living in her since I was about 6 years old or younger. She once told me she was ready to go but was holding on for me. I remember that day clearly, it is the only day she cried, it was her way of getting me prepared and letting me go. God gave her courage to face her death.

This past week, I cleaned out my mother’s closet and made room for my clothes. You see my clothes were still next door, I was buying pieces to wear weekly as needed. God gave me the strength to shift things around and make room for me to grow. God is so amazing. I am waiting for God to direct me in where her clothes should go from here. She sent most of her big hats to a consignment shop, but I have a few. Hopefully, I can wear one to my friend’s bridal shower this fall. I also found a set of keys my mom had looked for over a year. While cleaning her closet, I found family pictures and a favorite shirt of Chris’ I was saving. J I talk the least about Chris because it hurts the most.

NOW moving on, over the past 4 weeks I have lost an additional 5 lbs. With a total lost of 27 pounds since March 1, 2011. I still have a ways to go but I am defitinely encouraged. On Saturday, Terri and I went to Clothes Mentor which is a resale shope. I love it, love it, love it. I got 2 dresses, 2 tops and a pair of shoes for 48 bucks including tax. I love each and every item I got, I have one dress on today with the shoes J We also went to DSW, I got some shoes there too.

My eating has been good, I had been slipping on my water intake. Yesterday I drank 8 glasses, today I am on the band wagon with water. I see more results when I pumped the water in. I have exercise tonight, which I am looking forward to. I enjoy starting off my Monday’s with exercise. Here’s some good news, Tree is eating more healthy foods, over the past 2 weeks she has dropped 5 to 6 lbs. Yesterday we made homemade soup for dinner, celery, onions, diced tomatoes and chicken breast. She baked some chicken wings too, it was delicious and filing. I had a salad today for lunch, and my typical boiled egg, turkey chucks, strawberry and coffee for breakfast. Coffee, I am back on my Starbucks run in the morning. Bold roast helps me so much. Loving it !

Another thing, I have been working into using coupons, reward cards at CVS etc. I am liking it. Some call it Extreme Couponing, but I am not extreme. For instance, CVS had buy 1 Revlon nail polish at $4.99 and earn $4.00 coupon on next purchase. Which means polish was a dollar and I get to use the $4.00 off on another items. So I used it to purchase L'Oreal Hip Eye Shadows, it was buy one at $8.99 get one 1/2 off. So when I used the coupon, I end up getting 2 shadows for $10.00 and some change. Costing about 5 bucks each. Love it ! I plan to go to Target I can get Jayden two value packs of diapers 2 for $29.00 and they give me a gift card for $10.00 and check this out I have a manufacturer's coupon for $2.00. So I will end up paying out about $17.00 plus tax for 2 value packs boxes of diapers. Super, Super deal. I have not decided what I will use the $10.00 gift card on. This is nice.
This was long because I hadn’t wrote in so long.

Until I write again, See ya ! God protect us and bless us !

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Stress Busting !





Stress Buster !

Lord give me the courage and strength to move forward and live a life pleasing to you. I love you Lord an I am so truly grateful to you for giving me what I need to live, you gifted me with life and Your love. Wow, how utterly amazing !!!! You are everything to me.

This week is going so fast ! I am accomplishing some things that keep me moving in a positive direction. Jayden is now in daycare. His first day was today. It appears to be a nice place. He found it interesting and pointed at various objects in the room. I pray God’s blessings on him and ask for God’s blessings. He is growing up so fast. This is Jayden's first day at Day Care.

Yesterday, I worked out. Zoe instructed us and is being trained as a instructor. I like her approach, it is spiritual and focuses on our inner strength. She reminds us of what are goals are and let’s us know which body parts the exercise sculpts or strengthens. Kim did the resistance training and floor exercises. Overall, really good exercise.

I have been eating good and healthy and exercising is on course. BUT, my water intake leaves much to be desired. Today will be my day to get back on track with my water.

This evening I take a young woman to select her prom accessories. This is exciting ad wonderful. I pray God blessing this appt. Thank you Lord for giving me this opportunity.

I posted a picture of my organizational skills on a earlier blog. My dressing table is practical and meets my needs.





My work week as been managable. I thank You Lord for this. Life is lovely.

Not stress over the lil stuff anymore. Just moving on !

Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day !

The Lord blessed me with good family and friends. My family keeps me going. I am thanking God for placing me in this family. My grandson, is a genuine gift from God. Yesterday when he saw me , he ran with open arms, wanting to be picked up. When I picked him up, he kissed me as best as he could on my cheek. It was the first kiss he gave to me without me asking for it. It was so special and appropriate for mother’s day.

I kept myself busy with family during the day. In the evening I allowed myself to cry, to get it out. I miss Olivia and Chris so much ! They tugged at my heart off and on all day. When I look in the mirror I see Olivia, I look just like her. Fortunate for me J She prided herself on being a good looking Black woman. Back in her day dark skinned wasn’t cute, but she had great self esteem. Praise God. I see myself in her eyes, her smile and her caring. Yesterday, family had to talk about her sense of humor, if they hadn’t they would not have been giving her memory the justice it deserved. We all missed her, and could on key say this is what Olivia would have said. And we would laugh out loud. I see Chris is Jayden daily. He has the same build Chris had as a toddler, the same lil curly hair and friendly smile. Jayden’s personality is his own, he is such a crowd pleaser.

I am overwhelmed in some areas of my life, but I am handling it as best as I can. God is helping me daily to work through issues.

OK Eating ! I had peach cobbler, birthday cake, fried corn, yams, fried chicken, mashed potatoes and Pop. I did not eat the ribs J I had this menu Saturday and then went back to my aunt’s house and had it on Sunday ! AWESOME ! Believe it or not, I am not feeling guilty, that food was good to the bone. I did not waste a single calorie ! I have refocused and back on track this morning. I talked to my exercise buddy this morning and she ate this weekend too. We support one another unconditionally J So I am off to another wonderfully blessed week.

Monica, me and Tree played with makeup and Jewelry. I have done a couple of things to my bedroom as far as using appropriate space, and I love it. Tony is completing a project in my bedroom today, hanging a few things and then I will post some photos. Again, I thank you Lord for my gifting. I am now a sort of fashion consultant, I have an assignment of helping a young female put together her look for prom, accessories, makeup, etc.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

House in Order !!!



Organization

Lord I thank you for giving me the desire to get my HOUSE IN ORDER. I absolutely love a comfortable home, to me this means, order and cleanliness. My mom taught me how to clean and decorate a house at a VERY early age. I remember her getting me up on Saturday mornings to clean, I HATED it then, but I appreciate it now. Up until I was able 12 years old my mother was a housekeeper/maid, and she was allowed to take me to work with her. She did not complain about being a housekeeper. She loved working with her hands. She worked for Ms. Kelly, a very kind lady who had an amazing home in Shaker Heights, I will remember her house forever, and it was decorated so nicely, her kitchen was magnificent. Back then her rooms had amazing colors. In her home I saw décor taken to another level, my mother’s home was beautiful, but this house had wired in speaker in every room, bricked kitchen floor. It took me out of what was ordinary to extraordinary. I watched my mother clean it and I would often assist her and I enjoyed cleaning this woman’s house, because after it was clean it looked like a photo in a magazine. I was impressed by her home and how my mother’s skills made her house rock. Now mind you when my mother came home she kept her home the same way, so there it is.

I am getting my house in order. Things have really gotten out of hand. I love being organized and knowing where things are. Since my meltdown on Sunday, I have begun to do a good Spring cleaning. I have begun in my bedroom, where I spend most of my time. I brought a few reasonably organizers to help me make sense of my cosmetics, makeup and jewelry. My bedroom is small, it does not even have a closet, which is OK. I have a large closet in the hallway. My bedroom is too small to have a dresser. Because I do not have a dresser I did not have space to put my girly things. I brought a long glass table this summer from a yard sale and I have decided to use it as my vanity/makeup table. I got some really good ideas from You Tube. Yesterday, I went to Michael’s and got some organizers, and organizers were 40% off, which meant I got a really really nice organizer which is my focal piece for 20.99, it had been 29.99. I was thrilled. I also got some sand and vase filler to make a couple of brush holders. I decorated some of the containers with black and white nice ribbons. I even separated in a container, my MAC shadows from my NYX shadows. Most of the items are labeled this way I know where to return them and will be able to reach for them again. I made a special jumbo eye pencil holder which I am especially proud of. It was not my idea but I built on the concept.

Today I will pick up lighting. I think I will be getting a GE Bright Light. Then I may invest in a makeup mirror which is 29.99, I can use a $5.00 off coupon at Ulta in Mentor. I will go back next weekend as I have to use my coupon within 2 weeks. Then I can do my make up transformations sitting in my bedroom. YES YES YES I have been carrying cosmetics and makeup into the bathroom with me every time I get dressed which was time consuming and a real mess to clean up. This is a real blessing, I love pulling a look together be it, home decorating, make up, fashion or event décor. I love how God works in me and I know this is the gifting he has blessed me with. I pick up things in the store and sometimes I don’t even know what I will do with it, but I feel it is needed and it works out. My vanity/makeup table is cute.

I will upload a photo of my vanity/makeup table when it is complete. I make upload a video to walk through my special project J I think I am turning into a You Tube junkie. J

I will continue to clean, dust and mop. Real Spring cleaning has got to go down at the pad. Sticky fingers and crumbs are all over the place (Jayden J ). He does assist in cleaning up his large blocks J

The basement is a real trip. All of the things from my mother’s estate that I didn’t use upstairs, are in the BASEMENT !! OHHHHHH HELP !!! The basement is a genuine mess. My mother prided herself on keeping the basement spotless, she would kill me, if she saw it. I plan to go down there and get things arranged for a couple of yard sales. Yes, Yard Sale season is approaching. I am thrilled, my girl Par and Tree and me will be hitting the road. Par got a GPS for Christmas so we will be out and about. Oh, back to my sale. It will be nice to get things organized in the basement and ready for sale. During the winter I invested in a couple of 6 foot tables, I will be able to use them to set up items for sale.

Lifestyle Healthy Eating : I am eating well, need to get back on my water drinking of 8 glasses per day L Zumba schedule has changed, it is now Tuesday and Thursday at True Image, so my future blogs with be Twosome Tuesday (2 workouts in one day). So tonight is Twosome Tuesday. I have not done my morning weigh in since Friday. I will weigh in this week.

See ya ! May God Bless !

Monday, May 2, 2011

Monday Again !

It’s Monday !

Yes, It’s Monday and I’m not complaining. I thank the Lord everyday for my job. With the changes government are making our agency is funded by public monies. I feel confident that we will survive, our agency has been aggressive in the last 5 years of turning our mom and pop agency into a corporation. Word on the street has it that if funds are cut drastically they have targeted 18 positions that would be cut first. One of our programs will be cut in June, contract will not be renewed. I pray that God will open other doors for these employees. Life has taught me that we have to be prepared to accept God’s will in our lives. We have to listen to God and see how He would have us proceed. I feel blessed that I have been at this agency for 17 years.

Yesterday I lost my temper, I was so angry. My kitchen and entire house was a mess. Lots of grown people in the house, but I feel I am the only one keeping the house in order. I do not like to lose my temper, it is so ugly. I do not like laziness and I am beginning to feel like the house keeper. This is not a good feeling. I like cooperation, join in, roll up your sleeves and get things done. I do not like my house out of order, I work hard to have decent things in my home, and it seems as if nobody cares but me. I will be planning a family meeting to come up with a plan that works for the household. I am not a super clean person, but I like to be able to open my door if I have unexpected guest. For the past week, I would have had to meet guest on the porch. People are cooking and not washing their dishes. Taking showers not straightening up the bathroom. Enough said!!!

Today at lunch, I went to Michael’s and got some organizers for my bedroom. I am doing things to make my small bedroom work efficiently. I have to do some special cleaning, Monica will be up this Saturday to celebrate her grandfather’s/Floyd 90th birthday. This will be big fun for the family. Floyd is a quiet giant, he is kind and thoughtful. Recently he has been ill. We want to celebrate his life with him. It is a surprise. After the dinner, we will hang out and do some catch up. I love my cousins, I did not have sisters and my female cousins served as my sisters. Monica is special in that she was the first grandchild to Floyd and Julia. She was Doris’ baby and we all love Doris. So we babied and spoiled Monica, I am about 10 or 12 years older than her, so when she was born me and Tree did some babysitting giving us an opportunity to bond. I look forward to this weekend. My mother use to love to prepare for Doris, Monica and Allen’s arrival. My mother was especially proud of Monica and Allen as they completed college. Allen has is PhD same as his dad. Doris their mother is my first cousin, making Allen and Monica my second cousin. I often joke with Monica by telling her that Doris, her mother, is my REAL cousin. Doris reminds me a lot of my mom, they are super caring people and they are the conflict solvers in the family. My mother and Doris were very very close. Doris like Monica was the first born to Julia and Floyd. My mother loved children so much, she spoiled Doris a lot as she grew up. Enough about my family.

On to healthly eating. I did not weigh in officially at True Image as I was at the hair salon Saturday at 7:00 a.m. Weekends have been difficult for me. I don’t over indulge but I don’t have a routine. Tonight is True Image and Zumba. Power Monday, my gym bag is in the car and I am ready. Ready to Burn !