Welcome to Olivia's Daughter....a blog that I created in March 2010 to document my blessed journey of healing. Since I began this blog, my mother has gone home to be with the Lord along with my son, Chris Reshaud Jordan, who was murdered in October 2009. After these two devastating events, I felt forsaken by God. I cried out to the Lord seeking my purpose in life. Throughout this experience, I had to make the choice to surrender to a life of worthlessness or to live my life to the fullest, a life filled with abundance and love.


God has strengthened me. I am seeking Him daily and and working to live in His will which is leading me to my purpose and passion. I think of Chris and Olivia constantly, but I have turned this over to God. I want God to use me as his vessel giving Him the glory.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Through the Storm



Lord You are so faithful !  I love you more and more each day !  You show me Your power !  I believe in You even when the storms of life are unbearable.  You never give me more than I can bear.  I know this because even though I fall short You are there supporting me, encouraging me and pushing me forward.  Allowing me to know and work in my purpose.  Awesome God !  Lord I am excited to know that I have a relationship with You.  Without You I would be hopeless.  I stand on Your promises to never leave or forsake me!

Well hello, everyone, I have been out, when I am out pray for me.  When I don’t write I am either in a funk, scared or depressed or some of all that.  I thought nothing else could throw me for a loop, but I was wrong, over the last year I have been fighting to stay in my HOME !  Yes my home, the home my mother left me.  Not to get all into it, I almost lost it, the thought of losing my home was running me crazy in March 2012, when is when I began to receive serious notice.  My anxiety levels were SKY HIGH.  I did not share this info with anyone as my pride would not allow it and I felt like what could others really do. I do not like being a victim, never have, but I knew when God brought me through I would share the good news.   I did open up to one or two people, and the one person I humbled myself to, lowered my pride with was able to offer me words of love, encouragement and support.   This person is a woman of God whose kindness compares only to my mother.  My mother’s legacy of giving and caring lives on in this woman.  My mother showed this individual’s God’s love throughout her life and in return she gave me love.  God provides, what God enabled her to do is something only my mother or should I say a mother’s love would do.  I no longer have a mother, but God showed me I can still expect that type of love in my life.  God is a provider, he fills our needs.  During this situation I needed a mother and He gave me one.  I love the Lord !  As I write this I am only writing it because there maybe someone out there that needs the reinforcement of knowing GOD IS TRULY AMAZING !!  In my life the Lord has worked two miracles for me; one when my son went to court and he got probation and now God has allowed me to stay in the home my mother left me.  God builds me up through my storms I know this to be true.  He works in my life and shows me in ways in which I KNOW he and ONLY He did it. 

Yesterday I heard the news and I had one of those moments that I feel guilty about.  I have the faith that God is going to provide for me, and when he does, I say thank you but I feel it is not enough.  This is when I realize I can NEVER do enough to show God my gratitude.  But what I can do and what he requires me to do is to GIVE HIM THE GLORY and tell others of His goodness.  So this is part of what I will do.  I am a vessel of God, God give me boldness, loose me of pride and humble me to tell of Your goodness. 

There are details of this storm that you may identify with, if God has moved in Your life in a miraculous way, please let others know, so they can be blessed.  If You feel He hasn’t read these words and know that God is faithful.  This experience has helped me understand God’s written word and His promises.

I could go on and go !  God is Greatly to be Praised !  I had to praise God through the storm, through the rain, I had to praise Him in advance knowing that my blessing was coming.

Friday, October 5, 2012

So I Live - In PURPOSE

Chirs and I at his High School Graduation Party 2009 - a few months before he passed away


Thank You Lord for courage and strength!  I appreciate Your goodness, love, mercy and grace!  I love You Lord I appreciate You so very much!  You are the God above all things, You reign Lord, YOU!

Well this morning started off slow but steady.  I got up and got myself together and went to see my personal trainer at 6:30 a.m.  Boy it was tough getting up, I always say the hardest part for me is to get up and put on the sneakers.  Once I am at the gym I’m ok. I did a lot of free weights and ab/core work.  Ab/core work is so hard for me, my core is a mess, but I will continue to work on it, it is definitely a process.  I definitely need the push, I am gonna have to begin a routine at home too.  I keep saying it but not doing it.

Today makes 3 years that Chris passed away.  This morning I started by trying to ignore it, but by 10:30 a.m. I began to think about it.  I upload a photo of me and Chris on facebook and put it on mine and his timeline.  I did not want to draw attention to it for me.  But in his memory I wanted to acknowledge his life.  I love and miss him so much.  God has worked in me and given me the Peace that surpasses all understanding.  He has given me strength and courage to face each day.  I am surviving, God has a purpose for me, so I live.

I joined Planet Fitness online this morning for the 20 buck plan, that is much better than me paying out 66 per month for lifetime.  I thought it was a wise economical move for me right now.  I am looking forward to going, getting it IN   LOL

I have a busy weekend, I am going to the 730 walk but I am not walking, Blondell is doing a 30 mile bike ride so I am standing in for her as the ENCOURAGER.  Awesome Right !  I love the team of walkers and what it represents so yes I will get up and be there at 7:30 a.m. ready to pray, snap photos and encourage. 

Last night’s Fit for the King was really nice, the potluck was awesome, great turnout and the documentary Forks Over Knifes was so educational.  It allowed us to see that we HAVE to make better choices with our food.  The foods we eat are directly related to our health and healing.

Tomorrow I will go to 7:30 a.m. walk, meet with a friend for lunch and help her develop her blog/website for her business.  I have a 4:30p.m. massage scheduled.  I need it so bad.  My cousin is having a skating party starting at 11:00 p.m. til 2:00 a.m. REALLY, is she serious.  I may try and hang, we will see.

Pray for me this day!  See ya

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Out of Control

Lord You are teaching me patience as I go through this storm.  I am learning that things happen in Your perfect will.  Lord thank You for teaching me the importance of patience.  Lord bless those that I am surrounded by Lord give Peace when there is no peace, give comfort when there is none.  Lord continue to prepare me in my passion and purpose.

It has been about a week since I have blogged.  I can tell when my life is spiriling out of control because I do not write.  I am back today as I need to focus and get back right.  It seems as though when I found out I had a injury to my ankle and cannot do cardio I got depressed and sort of gave up.  Also this is a difficult time of year for me.  Chris was killed on Oct. 5, 2009 so the Fall of the year is crazy for me.  I think I am doing better then through my out of control eating I see that I am not.  Because I am an emotional eater so when I am down the scale shows it and I eat without focusing.  I think about the bad foods I am eating but at that moment I do not care enough about myself to stop myself.

So here I am writing my feelings.  I need this, I need to write, I need to get it out, because I don't talk about it easy.  It's too difficult.  I will stand back up with the strength God gives me.  I will do it.  I cannot linger in this moment.  I need to be freed of these feelings.

I plan to go to church tonight for prayer service.  I am expecting God to pour into me.  I know He has not left me or forsaken me.  I do believe this.  But often I leave myself and forsake myself.

You know what I like about myself is that I know God is good, God is able, God is the God above all and He and He alone will carry me through just because he cares and loves me and understands me.  I have hope.

Lord give me strength to move forward and push on.  Thank You