Welcome to Olivia's Daughter....a blog that I created in March 2010 to document my blessed journey of healing. Since I began this blog, my mother has gone home to be with the Lord along with my son, Chris Reshaud Jordan, who was murdered in October 2009. After these two devastating events, I felt forsaken by God. I cried out to the Lord seeking my purpose in life. Throughout this experience, I had to make the choice to surrender to a life of worthlessness or to live my life to the fullest, a life filled with abundance and love.


God has strengthened me. I am seeking Him daily and and working to live in His will which is leading me to my purpose and passion. I think of Chris and Olivia constantly, but I have turned this over to God. I want God to use me as his vessel giving Him the glory.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Day 41 – It’s all about God – God approved

Lord you are so faithful to me ! I love You for You being You. You provide me with what I need and you know me so intimately. Thank You giving me the wisdom to know when I should move on things in my life and when should allow others to move. You are so amazing. I thank You for my relationship with You.

Last night’s Life Group was awesome. The ladies connected and were able to open up and show some transparency. They are hungering for your love and for this I am grateful. Lord bless them and keep them encouraged with your love. We discussed gluttony and how it is a sin in our lives. We did a really good job defining it and showing examples of it in our lives. Thank You Lord for removing the nervousness and not giving me butterflies in my stomach. Lord I surrender myself to you to use for your bidding. Praise God ! I sincerely mean this ! You are Great and Worthy to be Praised.

Healthy Life Style – This program is helping me to embrace life and love the Lord at a deeper level. I am living my life like it is Golden and enjoying things in the moment. Recognizing that God is in control of everything and in knowing this I know He loves me and is protecting and providing for me. Lord I need your help in the area of working with non believers I am having difficulty dealing with others who do not have a loving relationship with You. I recognize I am wrong in my attitude but it is that I want to share Your goodness and want them to experience You in Your fullness. I humbly ask for help !

Style – Fashion Styling – I write about this because it is important for me. I designed this blog in honor of my mother, who was a Godly woman with extraordinary strength and faith in God. She taught me to honor God and love people. She was also a diva and taught me about personal care and caring for how you appear. She never got the piece about healthy eating and as far back as I can remember she was over weight, but that did not stop her from styling herself to the best of her talents. She loved beautiful things, and loves to have things in order she led an orderly life in many areas of her life. I saw her suffer from diabetes, hypertension, stroke, and finally heart condition. All of these illnesses were directly related to her unhealthy eating. I wished that she had got IT. But she didn’t. I know she would bless and celebrate with me in my path to healthy eating. She absolutely loved to dress me up when I was a child. I was like her lil black Barbie. Side by side we were beautiful black women. She was always the first to tell me when I looked amazing and the first to tell me to take it off LOL She was classy and believed in dresses touching mid knee or below and honoring God by covering cleavage. In other words she was modest. It taught me early on that you don’t have to show it ALL to be beautiful. I have learned that men are visual beings and I respect this and work hard to help them keep their focus on God. I am now very careful to honor God in my wardrobe at work and in the community and church. Now if you see me on Saturday, you will see a sister with no make up on and some sweats LOL But it is all Godly ! Because it is all about God. I want to be able to be fashionably and represent God and be an example of well put together looks that are God approved.

Hey I am feeling bad, I have left my dad out. He was a good man, Godly man and a minister who loved the Lord. He didn’t get the healthy food thing either. But boy oh boy he tried, but his will power would take over. We had a joke in the family about him, he would eat the diet meals and his regular unhealthily meals and gain even more weight because of eating this way. Funny, Funny man. He had a sense of humor out of this world. This is where my parents were strong together they both were humorous individuals. I mean slap your knee funny. He was a hard hard hard worker with an excellent work ethic. I always remember him having 2 jobs. My mom worked mostly to clothes me and her. LOL He prided himself on excellent credit A1 credit. I wish he could have left that in his Will J He believed in paying his debts. Did not have put maybe one credit card. He was a SHARP man as we would term “suited and booted”. But he did have an eye for the ladies which was not a good thing. A year or two ago I forgave him for making my mother’s life miserable and keeping our home in turmoil. But I realize that was there marriage and he was a good dad to me. Probably more information than you needed to know about my family, but I needed to write it and release it. I love transparency !!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW WOW WOW

Thank You Jesus for giving me such a wonderful woman parents.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

40 Days – For Me and For Others

God this prayer is one of gratitude for all Your love and understanding. I stand in awe of your love. You are everything to me. You have been faithful to me through it all. I give honor to You and I am very careful to give you the Praise ! Amen !

Lord I want to do Your bidding in my life. This seems so wonderful to me, to walk in Your path and living in your will. I know you have a plan to prosper me and have given me a life of abundance. You have giving me an abundance of love and opened up my heart to see You and as the amazing Creator that You are. Amazing!

Yesterday was somewhat frustrating at work. I am so blessed, so truly blessed to believe in a God that works in my life. My work life can be so stressful, when I allow my flesh to surface. I am working on humbling myself. I need to work so I need to submit.

God please guide ! Help me ! I know that I need You in my life. Please allow me to know that this is of You and that they are not operating in the flesh. Let me be special and adored in a Godly manner. Allow me to be respectful and open to trust. Thank You Lord ! Thank You Lord !

Last night’s meeting was really good. I look forward to the fellowships and the shares. My sponsor was the qualifier, she is such a wonderful woman of God. God I thank you for giving me boldness and courage to step up to the plate to serve. I am working my 90 days and plan to serve in the program as I am lead. My eyes have been open to so much and I am grateful. So much about why I worshipped food. The food was blocking my service and worship to God. Maybe not for others but for me. I hear myself in each story, I want to be able to have a God filled share in order to help others. God you have honored me by providing me with this program and I want it to help others. I look forward to my mornings that are peaceful and communicating with my sponsor is such a spiritual experience. I truly experience God as we use our time to give God the glory for our lives.

Lord bless our Life Group tonight. Let Your power be amongst us. Let us work together as women trying to help another and ourselves. We thank you for our group and leadership. Women of moderation. The name of the group is so appropriate.

OK OK OK, this morning I had a yearning desire to weigh in. According to my home scale I had dropped 2 lbs since the 29th. Putting me closer to my personal goal. I want to be about where I am but want to lose not need to lose so I need to draw close to God. I want to focus on toning my arms, abs and thighs. By summer I would like to be much more toned in these target area.

Closet issues – OK I have been shopping, I need to put some attention on organizing my things so I know what’s up in order to pull together fashion forward/backward (vintage) looks LOL I will work more on organizing this weekend. I have weigh in at True Image on Saturday a.m. and then go to Seed Team. I should be home by 1:00. I need to dedicate this time to organizing. I will take Tree’s advice and begin to breakdown Nique’s room to organize my clothing and accessories. Yeah, this is gonna be work, I may employ someone to help me out. I will think this out.

Until we chat again ! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Monday, November 7, 2011

Day 39 - Wonderful Awesome Weekend

Day 39 - Wonderful Awesome Weekend

Thank You Lord for pouring into me ! I want to say that I am grateful and that I want to live in Your will and do Your bidding. Please guide me Lord, and allow me to see what You have designed for me. I need clear discernment and I move forward. I want to trust You totally in this area of my life, give me courage. I want to make Godly decisions. Give me what I need to lead my group tomorrow night, allow the ladies to be blessed. Thank You Lord.

Amazing service, I had not been in 2 services for sooooo long. It was so well worth the investment of time. God I want to serve You and do Your bidding. I needed to hear the message as I help parent Jayden who is strong willed. The leadership of the church recognized the Prayer Ministry for our commitment to prayer. It was really nice and the members got to learn about the ministry. I feel so wonderful during worship and praise and I am so glad I have so much freedom to praise God and give Him the glory. I am grateful for my relationship with God. God has grown me up some J I can feel it. It’s a wonderful feeling.

After my Saturday morning workout I got to spend Saturday morning with Jayden. It was fun to see him explore EVERYTHING in his enviroment. He is something else :) I love his lil self :)

Tonight I have my FA meeting, I am looking forward to fellowshipping with the group. I am asking for courage to do a reading, God you helped me before and I am asking for more strength. I know it is You who gives me the courage. I want to be able to help and serve others.

My meal plan is working for me. Thank you Lord ! I am able to go on with my life without food ruling me. This gives me a quiet peace. I thank You for allowing me to be Your vessel. Tree met with her sponsor Saturday and I am so proud of her for taking this important step. She really needs this program. I am grateful for the program.

I did some awesome vintage thifting over this weekend. I discovered a new spot for vintage clothing. Totally awesome and fairly priced. I will check this place out on a regular. Tree and I went back, I think I may go back and get the vintage Versace shirt and I need some men button down. I got two best finds, one being an Georgio Armani blazer at the sale at Joseph Beth. Awesome designer pieces. I am drawn to vintage due to the quality of the clothing and it connects me to Oliva my mama. Styling was something my mother did well. She was a head to toe Diva. Some of the clothes are defintitly styles of her era and my youth. I loved to see her dress up she was a beautiful woman as she would say a beautiful Black woman. She disliked loud colors and cheaply made clothes. Vintage pieces are constructed very well and are more reasonable than current retail items. It is definitely a win-win. Another thing, the clothing is so lady like and some is totally glammed out. I tend to seek the lady like apparel and the chic looks. I did some research this weekend on CoCo Chanel, interesting lady. I never knew she grew up in an orphanange. It helps me to understand designers when I explore them, it gives me a differenent appreciate for their designs. Her line gave women especially working women a classic look that still works to this this. Her models moved so nicely in her garments, it was amazing to see them on the runway. Finding vintage pieces is a good feeling. Another plus is it is a one of a kind item. There is only that one on the rack. She prided herself on being proud of her dark skin. I am so grateful for this because she instilled in me my inner and outer beautiful. That is one thing that made her even more amazing, she poured into me and taught me how to me a “Good girl” and she led by example. She was a godly woman. She made sure she taught me the importance of smiling, helping others and be a support to others. God blessed me with Olivia. She allowed God to use her in so many ways. I need to take some OOTD (outfits of the day) photos to upload. I don’t have a camera right now on my phone.

I had lots to say ! Felt good getting it out

Sort of a frustrating day. My work life can be difficult to deal with, when I am operating in the flesh. So difficult ! I need to let go and allow God to work in this situation. But I have not given it to God totally. I am grateful to have this career and job. Every few weeks there are changes, and then more changes. Coworkers are quitting which ultimately means more work for me. I appreciate prayer.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Day 35

I want to give You the praise and the glory for everything You have done for me. I am excited about You and thrist for You. For this I am glad.

Yesteday, I missed out on my bible study group. I was at Ms. Juanita but we talked about the goodness of Jesus so it was well worth the time J Ms. Juanita is a wonderful young woman of God. I love her spirit. I am praying for God’s continual blessings in her life. On top of that she rocked my hair LOL While at the shop I was able to connect with a couple of my church family members. LOVE THEM !

At work, our supervisor had a meeting with us and it was one of those non motivational meetings. She is not a team builder, but she is a good company person. So overall I guess she is good for our agency. I disagree with lots of what she does but I have to respect her role/position in my life as she is over me. God gives me the strength to work and communicate with her.

God give me strength this day Lord to do what I need to do and to operate in Your will.
___________________________________
Lifestyle – Eating for me is such an awesome experience. I love the food that is before me. Yesterday during my lunch I sat and studied the word of God for my Life Group class. I need the Lord to build me up as a witness to his word. Give me the words to encourage others in healthy lifestyles.

I want to organize my closets and clean the kitchen this Saturday. It does not appear that I have anything special planned for Saturday.

Relationships – My relationships with family and friends are good and healthy. I am praying that God will give me what I need to begin to open myself up to being in a loving relationship. WORK WITH ME LORD !

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Day 34

Day 34

Lord God You are the Lord of Lords and the Prince of Peace, my everything. I adore your name Oh Lord. Thanks for creating me as I am. Use me and I ask that I live in Your will.

Yesterday, was yesterday ! It was a very productive day. I accomplished things at my workplace and in my personal life. I listed my priorities and when I looked over them this morning, I could check them off. I even did something special I checked out a different Goodwill and did some thifting. I picked up a nice long brown maxi skirt. It will look nice with a t or turtle neck belted. It was $3.50 and when I took it to the register it was discounted to $1.99. Excellent deal ! I will put it in the cleansers on Thursday when I pick up. This morning I picked up my thifted blazers and 2 dresses from the cleaners, they look amazing. I actually put one of the blazers on in the cleansers and wore it to work as a coat, it is the black wool one. I added a scarf and a fushia long sleeve T. I am loving the deals.

Tuesday’s Life Group was amazing. We talked and shared and it was good for me and hopefully everyone. Leader and I discussed my role as assistant and mapped out what we will be doing in her absence.
· Lesson 6
· Need sign in sheet (will get one from Constance tonight)
· Special topic of interest
· Discuss accountability to our partners

I have my Recovery Life Group tonight. I am expecting a wonderful group of learning the word, sharing and fellowship.

I ordered a Clarisonic and I believe it will be delivered today. I will begin a cleaning regiment in hopes of giving my completion a glow and thoroughly cleaning, reaching into the pores. I will continue to use my gentle facial cleansers it is good and reasonably priced. I plan to get some of the Mac makeup remover to take surface makeup off. I also ordered NARS Tahij (sp) blush it is a beautiful shade of orange and it will work nicely on my brown completion to warm up my cheeks. J I love make up !!!! I need to pick up the black and brown Milani liquifer pencils, shipping was too much on Amazon. I also want to pick up the Suave dray shampoo to help keep my hair clean in between shampoos with Juanita. I will see Juanita tonight for a new do. Praise God.

Day 34

Day 34

Lord God You are the Lord of Lords and the Prince of Peace, my everything. I adore your name Oh Lord. Thanks for creating me as I am. Use me and I ask that I live in Your will.

Yesterday, was yesterday ! It was a very productive day. I accomplished things at my workplace and in my personal life. I listed my priorities and when I looked over them this morning, I could check them off. I even did something special I checked out a different Goodwill and did some thifting. I picked up a nice long brown maxi skirt. It will look nice with a t or turtle neck belted. It was $3.50 and when I took it to the register it was discounted to $1.99. Excellent deal ! I will put it in the cleansers on Thursday when I pick up. This morning I picked up my thifted blazers and 2 dresses from the cleaners, they look amazing. I actually put one of the blazers on in the cleansers and wore it to work as a coat, it is the black wool one. I added a scarf and a fushia long sleeve T. I am loving the deals.

Tuesday’s Life Group was amazing. We talked and shared and it was good for me and hopefully everyone. Leader and I discussed my role as assistant and mapped out what we will be doing in her absence.
· Lesson 6
· Need sign in sheet (will get one from Constance tonight)
· Special topic of interest
· Discuss accountability to our partners

I have my Recovery Life Group tonight. I am expecting a wonderful group of learning the word, sharing and fellowship.

I ordered a Clarisonic and I believe it will be delivered today. I will begin a cleaning regiment in hopes of giving my completion a glow and thoroughly cleaning, reaching into the pores. I will continue to use my gentle facial cleansers it is good and reasonably priced. I plan to get some of the Mac makeup remover to take surface makeup off. I also ordered NARS Tahij (sp) blush it is a beautiful shade of orange and it will work nicely on my brown completion to warm up my cheeks. J I love make up !!!! I need to pick up the black and brown Milani liquifer pencils, shipping was too much on Amazon. I also want to pick up the Suave dray shampoo to help keep my hair clean in between shampoos with Juanita. I will see Juanita tonight for a new do. Praise God.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Day 33 – Pressure lifted – Pressure back on

Thank you Lord for giving me the tools I need to do what it is you have planned for my life. Help me to grow in your word and in my obedience. Give me more of you, I want to accept You in all areas of my life. You are so worthy of the honor and the glory. I adore You.

Last night’s Harvest Fest was fantastic. The children had such a good time. I must say the adults did too, just a bit tiring. Jayden enjoyed himself. I got to see and fellowship with so many people that I had not seen in awhile. Tree went as Minnie Mouse she looked cute.

The pressure is lifted and I am slowly but surely getting use to my new size body. I will begin to focus on toning; arms, stomach, leg (thighs). I am listening to what people are saying to me and some is very encouraging. I have decided that I will go into maintained after losing 5 more pounds. The excitement of losing weight kept me losing, I must now focusing my excitement on maintaining and get my head ready for this long long life long journey. Pressure back on ! Maintain and tone YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!