He Lives !

Hello, It’s me Again, Vanessa!
I want to thank the Lord for a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful Resurrection Sunday. I know it is now August 29th and Resurrection Sunday was last week. I am grateful to God for presenting our congregation with the wonderful performance. It touched on a lot and spoke to me. The entire weekend was blessed. Again, I thank you Lord.

I have not blogged since last week. I have not been on my regular schedule of blogging, logging in on calorie count and I have only been drinking 5 glasses of water per day. I am aware that I am off course; I have not and do not plan to beat up on myself. I continued to workout and my eating has been ok. The craziest thing is that Zumba was cancelled for this past Monday night. Bummer! But the best thing ever is that we will now have Zumba two times a week at 7:30 p.m. starting next week. Yes! Yes! Yes! I am aware of the change of the last week and I have begun to gradually get back on track. I weighed in this morning and I had lost 1 lbs. Total of 24 pounds. Thank You Lord for your Favor, Grace and Mercy. Weighing in this morning began my journey back. I was so grateful, so very grateful.

My work life has been great; our supervisor went for a much needed vacation. She works so hard she needed this time off to rest and be with her children. I pray she comes in feeling renewed.

Foods; Resurrection Sunday, I ate at my aunt’s house. Right ! It was the bomb ! Candied yams, baked chicken, collard greens, cornbread, ginger ale and PEACH COBBLER. Yes, PEACH COBBLER. You know I ate what was on my plate, oh yes, and there was boiled corn J I ate and did not worry, I had two servings of PEACH COBBLER which is equalent (sp) to my mother’s sweet potato pie recipe. God does give us what we want sometimes, He is good like that. I enjoyed being with family and being with them helped me to get through the holiday. Easter was also important to my mother and father. I have tons of memories !!!! She use to dress me and herself up like princesses. My father was a very sharp dresser. We all loved to eat and we would either go out or my mom would cook. Yesterday, I found a photo of Chris at about age 10 all dressed up in a green suit. At that age, he loved suits. He wanted a red suit, NOT ! But this Easter Jayden was “Clean as the Board of Health” (voice of Olivia Dunlap). Jayden is a character with so much personality. I will try and upload his photo ! All I can say he is gma’s lil man. He shows he has swaggert at 16 months, I think he gets his cool from me, he was styling in his shades. YES, his own shades. I know, I know, this is Resurrection Sunday not a style show. Lord knows I appreciate his dying on the cross for my sins. I will never, ever forget, what he done for me !

Until my next Blog, Peace be with you!

This is my pamper me weekend! Hairdo tonight ! Nique is treating me to ½ of the cost of my hairdo. What a blessing! Kids! I will do my own mani, pedi and facial. Summer is coming and coats come off and sandals slide on. I may do another makeup haul this weekend. Maybe !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ordered a couple products from Amazon, but some things I have to see up front and in person.

One more thing, Ariel and I took Jayden to the park for his first official swing and slide adventure. At first he was hesitant, he was not sure about the swing, he kept saying “bye bye” meaning get me out of here. I know at that time he wished he had more words J the slide he loved.

Seeking Godly Words !

I continue to experience the love of God. He is the true living God. I appreciate God in my life and He gives me hope. Thank You Lord for your salvation.

Yesterday I took care of some important business. After the close, life altering losses in my life, I am working to plan. My mom planned for her home going throughout her life. She told me what to do in the event of her death, and I have learned from her example. She paid her insurance policies timely, she made sure me/family would have a home that was paid for upon her death. A few years before she passed she began to sell off her cherished furnishing and hats as she wanted to get the financial benefit of these objects. But she made sure I didn’t want them. She left me her most treasured piece of furniture old antique ice box which is priceless. I had always had my mom as my beneficiary in the event I passed away first. Now that she is gone, I had to change mine. I did it, because I want have to prepare a will and a living will with directives for my medical care if need be. It is what my mom taught me. I decide who to leave my polices to. Yesterday I did this, I made a decision and left it at that. This is a relief. Dominique and Jayden to have a bit of security. I want them to be able to bury me without the stress of not having insurance in their name. I wanted to put the policy together as if it were a will, spelling out my desires of how and when Jayden’s part would be spent. But I was not able to, so I am trusting God and his mother to do the right thing.


I blog/journel because it gives me an outlet to express myself. As a therapist I understand and appreciate the importance of getting it out and dealing with the problem. But realistically it is difficult for me. I will often take the hurt instead of passing it on to the deserving person. It gives me an opportunity to get things out. I am not real good about getting things out. Especially in my interpersonal relationships. I often want to say things but fear I will hurt other’s feelings. So then I walk around carrying stuff/junk. I am asking God to give me tactful/Godly words. I promised myself in 2011 I would take care of me, and do things that are important for me. I would say I have been 60/40 on this. I want to be tactful/Godly in using my words, when I keep things in for so long when it comes out it often doesn’t sound good. I need to make baby steps on using my Godly words.

Yesterday’s workout was good. Camille is our Tuesday evening instructor. She was disappointed that our music system was not functioning properly. Even though it was not she still managed to give us a good workout. My heartbeat was definitely up. I was able to do all my crunches, even the ones when you hold your legs straight up. YEAH. My suicides were not as good, but I did as many as I could. I actually did 2 45 minutes planks, which use to kill my left shoulder. I modified them. They are excellent for building core muscles. EXCELLENT.

Foods and water intake yesterday could have been better. Five glasses of water instead of 8. I also had a few two many Doritos with my turkey taco. Everything else was cool, plenty of fruit, Jayden and I shared an apple, and he loves apples, oranges and banana. Not as much banana, I think his favorite is orange slices. I usually keep my fruit in my bedroom, so I can reach them quickly. He loves to find them and tear into them. This is good. He also likes the steamed veggies.

Today’s eating is good: breakfast, two boiled egg whites, coffee with ½ and ½. Lunch: Progresso 70 calorie a cup soup, and an apple. Not very hungry, I think yesterday’s Doritos are still in my system J

I see Ms. Juanita this evening after work. I need to be freshened up. My do is hit, my workouts wipe my hair out. I even wrap it but sweat still affects the hair, and it is if there is a build up of cakeiness. YUCK ! I am sure I will feel like a Queen when I leave her chair. She works magic on me.

What's happening with me !!

Praise the Lord !

I am thankful for all of God’s blessing ! He has kept me, shield me and fought my battles. He is a mighty warrior and I trust Him. He continues to bless me and I am working hard to listen and be obedient to his Word. God’s love is so awesome, it embraces me and keeps me breathing and seeking Him.

I have not blogged in a few days. I have been busy with work. My responsibility has grown so much. I am working to be a good servant in my workplace and to be obedient and helpful. The Lord has helped me to keep my mouth shut and stay in peace and allow him to work things out. And He has !!!!!! I come in with an attitude to get the job done and to get it done well.

My workouts have been fantastic. I was able to do 5 workouts last week including Zumba. Yesterday was Power Monday, I did my True Image workout and Zumba. I feel so encouraged when I complete both. It starts my week off with a BANG. Takeema came, it was helpful to have her at my side. She is such an amazing young woman. We all continue to encourage one another. This past Saturday, I dropped two more pounds, grand total 23 pounds since March 1. This is God’s work ! God gets the glory at every workout and every meal. I continue to ask God to get me through my workout and to take my greedy food eating spirit away. It is a process, day by day, meal by meal, workout by workout. On Saturday most of the ladies came out feeling quite successful. We encouraged one another and shared some of our To Do things for this life style change.

Jayden is something else. He has so much energy and personality. He likes to play rough and now he is roughing it with me. I give him piggy back rides. He has discovered that he has a tummy and that granny has a big stomach, and he likes to poke it J Ariel will begin work Thursday and he will begin going to a babysitter. Pray that he will transition and do well. Dominique is much better, she is blessed.

Food : I am staying below my 1,200 calorie intake. Which is helping me lose. I am careful to eat proteins and veggies. Calorie Count has been helpful, I log my foods and activity. Logging each food item helps me see the calories in each item. I was definitely putting some high calories items into my salads, for example chick peas. They had more calories than the chick peas were worth. So I cancelled the chick peas. There was another items I deleted but I can’t remember. I also checked on my dressings and changed to the French low calorie dressing, which I love. I usually mix two dressings.

New Goal: I have met my level 1 goal at True Image and I am moving on to Level 2. My first goal was to lose 20 lbs. Guess what? My new goal is to lose another 20 lbs. I am 3 pounds into my new goal. 17 more lbs to reach the next level. The long term goal is
for me to lose about 60 lbs then I will be a Level 4 meaning I can begin to incorporate more foods, less weekly workouts required and my monthy fees are cut to ½ price. It is a win/win.

Hump Day !

Hump Day ! Good Day ! Just Another Day that the Lord has blessed me. Just another day that the Lord has blessed me. Boy did my mom love that old hymn. I know now why she loved and appreciated this hymn. The Lord blesses me and keeps me from losing it. I ask him daily to give me peace and to keep my anxiety down. I know I suffer with depression and anxiety as my mother did. I know when I take care of God’s temple I feel so much better and so alive. I am blessed that the Lord blesses and gives us new mercies every day. It feels so good to know God loves me for who I am. I have tons and tons of paperwork to process. I will get it done, no doubt. I ask that the Lord give me what I need to do it and do it with a caring spirit. Our department is down a worker and so we are all taking on more assessments. My supervisor has done two already this week. We are trying to keep the beds full which helps the agency survive financially. Today is my off day from workout, it is my day to let my muscles relax. During our workout yesterday, we got DOWN. Camille work it out !!!!!!!!! Again we had so much energy. I modified the routine to the best of my ability. When I feel like giving up I ask God for strength and I get through. Cardio is so exciting, ab work is much needed, so I do it. Today’s weather is wonderful, it makes me appreciate God even more. I was actually able to wear my sunglasses J I continue to experiment with self improvement things to help boost my self esteem. Eating: Breakfast: orange, coffee/creamer Lunch: Progresso Traditional Barley Soup (160 calories). Lunch was delicious and warm.

I'm Back to my routine !

God I want to thank God for everything you have done for me. Yesterday, could have been a really stressful situation, but God you placed people in my life that love me. I see you working in my life. Thank you Lord for never leaving or forsaking me.

Friday, I got a call from work that the fire department, police and an ambulance were at my heart. My heart fell, I was thinking, what is going on now. What does me and my family have to deal with. Well it was Dominique. She was at the hospital with carbon monidoze (sp) poisoning. She had inhaled fumes from a van at work. She was feeling faint for no reason and not herself. The doctors ran a blood test and said she had high levels. So Cleveland Heights came to the house to make sure it was not in the house. The house was fine. I praised God for that. Her supervisor is having the van inspected. When she was discharged from the hospital her supervisor came over and brought her 3 beautiful cupcakes. She was happy. On Saturday she got ill again and went to the hospital. Her blood was good. We began to look up side effects. She needs to drink plenty of water and go out side and take in fresh air. By Monday she is beginning to feel more like herself. She said she was feeling disoriented and her legs felt heavy. I am praising God with each day she is feeling better. God is real good, real, real good.

The last few days have been full. Brandy's baby is here and he is sweet. He went to the doctor's yesterday, and he lost a few ounces. I am continuing to pray for his growth and health. Ariel's birthday party and dinner was this weekend. We had alot of fun. Ariel loves to celebrate birthdays. It was fun being with her and her family, they are really nice people and have a good sense of family. Jayden seemed to love having so many people in the room that he knew and that loved him. I thank God he has a good family experience. You can never get too much love.

Over the weekend, my getting was good, I stayed under my 1,200 calorie allowance, but I usually do not intake near this much food. My water intake is usually 8 to 10 glasses over the weekend it decreased to about 4 to 5 glasses. I am getting back on track. I did not feel as guilty as I thought I was. Oh yeah, at Saturday's weekly weigh in I lost 4 lbs. Total of 22 lbs. Oh, yeah ! I am grate to God !

Yesterday's workout was cool, I left the office early for a home visit. So my evening started off with a bang. Most days I like being out of the office. It was good seeing my fellow workout buddies. Today, I did 20 suicides which is a success for me, I can usually only do about 4. I changed my technique, Freda does them this way so I tried it and it WORKED. I thanked God all the way to the door. I modify most everything I do, so that I continue to move. I am inspired by others that can do every move, but I can't so I do me.

Zumba was awesome. Again Shante brought it. Her energy is fantastic. Aretha came this week for the first time and Takeema was there too. It was fun, we danced and danced and danced. Two workouts back to back is no joke. I am feeling results. I feel really good about what I am doing.

It feels good to be able to blog again. I need to stay with my routine. I am seeing that routine helps me.

Encouragement Part II

I feel like keeping on. This is a saying my mother use to say. This meant she felt encouraged. I want to thank God for his encouragement and love for us. God loves us so much. Thank You Lord for being there for me, for me.

Today I am taking care of some business, feeling real encouraged today and prayful that tomorrow will be a good day. Ariel is planning for her birthday which is the 14th but her party is tomorrow night and dinner is at Washbi on Sunday evening. I pray she will have fun and this won't be an empty experience for her. She loves celebrating her birthday and the birthdays of others. She has been planning her party since January : I got a text from her today saying she did not like the dress she had ordered from an internet store. I want her party to be a success. I work to encourage her as she is a young single mother.

I am not having hungry cravings this morning. I had 2 boiled egg whites, orange and coffee/half and half for breakfast. That was satisfying enough. I have been drinking water, but sometimes I feel bloated from it, I am still getting in 8 per day. Well yesterday was 7 ½ : I plan to workout tonight at True Image, I believe Takeema is the instructor tonight. She likes to use the step machines. The steps give us a good burn. Her floor exercises for Abs are awesome. Looking forward to tonight. I feel so much energy in the room as we exercise, it is if everyone is on one accord and invested. update: Takeema lead us through a really good exercise. I have so much difficulty doing suicides, I try but it hurts so much. I will try to incorporate some in my workouts at home. Also I was so thristy for something good I drank a half bottle of Diet Pepsi. I did not want to deprive myself :)

FAMILY

Family I am thanking God for the safe delivery of Carmello Reshaud Davis. God is good. I am grateful that Brandy has a healthy baby. God she knows it was YOU and is grateful, the entire family is grateful and thankful. Work dynamics are much like family dynamics. Always some type of drama. You try to avoid it as much as possible, but get pulled into it. My work family is cool, we spend 8 hours a day together so we know one another quite well and work to keep harmony. Our supervisor serves as “mama” I guess, so when we feel she is favoring or running slack on a slacker we get upset. I am asking God to help me respect my supervisor and this co-worker. I enjoy peace and work to bring the peace. I want to present myself in a Christian way in every encounter, and I have been slipping up. Usually I am the one to offer hope, but recently I have allowed myself to get pulled in. I want to start today anew and move on in positive manner. We all need our jobs and we need to get along and get the job done. This morning I vented to my two supports for my dietary life change. LOL I am still tripping out that I ate a bagel yesterday that was 270 whopping calories. I need to move on, but I know I ate it because I was visually attracted to it. I have been reading the research and thought I was in tune with my inner eating monsters. Yesterday, it was revealed to me that I am not. I was just greedy, there was no real hunger. I had passed up Einstein Bagels went up to Brandy’s hospital room, sat there, keep thing about it, walked out the room, got on the elevator and walked to get the bagels. I need to stay in prayer about this. I am not obsessing about eating, willpower calls other areas of my life where I have made poor choices and gotten into financial trouble. Boy do I have stories. Food Stuff: Braakfast: 2 boiled egg whites, coffee with ½ and 1/2 , orange. Lunch: Cup of Soup (Stone Oven) Snack: avocado - yuck (but it is suppose to help belly fat) Dinner: No workout tonight – Last Wednesday I picked up a extra Zumba class at Nulife. I don’t think I am going tonight, I will let my muscles rest and heal. I see Ms. Juanita this evening and that will be nice and relaxing.