Out of Control

Lord You are teaching me patience as I go through this storm.  I am learning that things happen in Your perfect will.  Lord thank You for teaching me the importance of patience.  Lord bless those that I am surrounded by Lord give Peace when there is no peace, give comfort when there is none.  Lord continue to prepare me in my passion and purpose.

It has been about a week since I have blogged.  I can tell when my life is spiriling out of control because I do not write.  I am back today as I need to focus and get back right.  It seems as though when I found out I had a injury to my ankle and cannot do cardio I got depressed and sort of gave up.  Also this is a difficult time of year for me.  Chris was killed on Oct. 5, 2009 so the Fall of the year is crazy for me.  I think I am doing better then through my out of control eating I see that I am not.  Because I am an emotional eater so when I am down the scale shows it and I eat without focusing.  I think about the bad foods I am eating but at that moment I do not care enough about myself to stop myself.

So here I am writing my feelings.  I need this, I need to write, I need to get it out, because I don't talk about it easy.  It's too difficult.  I will stand back up with the strength God gives me.  I will do it.  I cannot linger in this moment.  I need to be freed of these feelings.

I plan to go to church tonight for prayer service.  I am expecting God to pour into me.  I know He has not left me or forsaken me.  I do believe this.  But often I leave myself and forsake myself.

You know what I like about myself is that I know God is good, God is able, God is the God above all and He and He alone will carry me through just because he cares and loves me and understands me.  I have hope.

Lord give me strength to move forward and push on.  Thank You