Welcome to Olivia's Daughter....a blog that I created in March 2010 to document my blessed journey of healing. Since I began this blog, my mother has gone home to be with the Lord along with my son, Chris Reshaud Jordan, who was murdered in October 2009. After these two devastating events, I felt forsaken by God. I cried out to the Lord seeking my purpose in life. Throughout this experience, I had to make the choice to surrender to a life of worthlessness or to live my life to the fullest, a life filled with abundance and love.


God has strengthened me. I am seeking Him daily and and working to live in His will which is leading me to my purpose and passion. I think of Chris and Olivia constantly, but I have turned this over to God. I want God to use me as his vessel giving Him the glory.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Struggling, YES Struggling


 

Lord I need Your strength, and the power You pour into me on this day.  Lord I must remember that struggling is part of the journey.  I need to trust that You will bring me through VICTORIOUS !

 

Weight Loss Journey - I have had a disconnect from the Lord, on my end.  I know it because I am overly irritable and touchy.  My mood is awful and I feel like giving in.  I get so tired, of doing better and seeing very little results.  I need direction, my workout/bootcamp is difficult and I dread going.  At my age, this is not an excuse, but the truth I injure easily, so during my workout I believe I am being to careful to really burn like I should.  Now on the other hand, my eating has been not good.  I have been eating things I know are not good for me.  I binge and binge and then feel bad.  I know I need the Lord right now like never before.  I am right now too afraid to weigh myself.   I know eating is 70 % and workout is 30%. 

I have to make some decisions and I am seeking God first.  Please keep me in prayer and I cry out to God for me. 

 

Natural Hair Journey – My hair is my hair, it will do what it can do.  My hair is soft and thin in areas.  It frizzes like nobody’s business.  I have tried product after product trying to make it behave.  Right now I will not buy another hair product, I am going to work with what I have and make it work.  The amount of products I have to getting the results I want is not good.  I incorporate proper technique.  The problems rest in me getting to know my hair and settling and accepting it for what it can do. 

My shampoo hair color works beautifully, no complaints !  I want color but fear that semi-permanent or permanent color will damage my fine, thin, soft texture.  So I will not put my hair through it.  I have a natural hair coloring shampoo that covers my gray and moisturizes.  I ordered enough to last me until August, because I cannot get it on ground.

My oil mixture/cocktail is incredible.

My edges are growing in slowly but surely.

So I do have tons of things to be grateful for, but you know, we as women sometimes are never satisfied.  My hair texture is what it is.  I can rock a nice fro, but of course, that’s not good enough because I LOVE twist outs.   But my hair does not respond to twistout.  I need to work on nurturing my fro, getting a trim and rocking it. 

 

Thanks for allowing me to Rant

 

This past week’s Hair Expo was really nice.  Lots of naturals with various hairstyles, women of color are so beautiful.   It is so nice to see women return to their natural hair.  The workshops were full of ladies learning about their hair and products. 


I must say the hair companies are really profiting on naturals.  The power of women demanding what will and won’t put in their natural hair has forced companies to product sulfate free, etc products.  Amazing !!!!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Cycle 2 - Day 1 - I can have steak today :)



Lord God you have brought me from a mighty long way.  You have brought me into the marvelous light.  Lord continue to work your hand of mercy in my life, family and friends.  God you are amazing.  I thank You and I am grateful for Your love.

Natural Hair Journey - Well I had an opportunity to chat with one of my curly friends.  She wears finger coils and she gave me some helpful tips.  I had worn mine coiled and she taught me how to uncoil with less frizz.  Frizz is a natural girls enemy.  Althought I have learn some naturals say they enjoy a little frizz to add volume.  Me myself I don't need the frizz I like a cleaner look.  I got up an extra 1/2 hour early this morning to uncoil. Once it is coiled then uncoiled it is a low maintenance low manipulation hair style.  I will moisturize tonight and oil my ends and use my castor oil on my edges and crown.  Oh yeah, uncoiling my hair gave me a fuller look in my crown area, and my hair looks less scalpy.  Again I love the versatility of natural hair. 

One thing I am seeing is that I look ok with short hair, I have always had medium length, shoulder length hair. Never had short hair, no weave, my hair, wig nothing.  Even as a child I have always had shoulder length hair now with the shrinkage I am rocking short looks.  I have always felt my head was WAY too big for short hair, I used my hair to contour my head , using bangs, swoops etc.  Now I am seeing myself clearly ALL of me adjusting to seeing all of me.  I am even wearing less makeup this week I have not worn liquid medium to full foundations.  I have used powders it seems like with my face exposed I don't want to be overly made up.  Now I am not giving up makeup but just adjusting to my new look.  I love waking up to see how my hair is gonna behave :)

Weight Loss Journey - Today starts Day 1 of Cycle 2 - Well I have been steady in my workouts, I felt sore yesterday from Tuesday workout, so I didn't go.  I am working to listen to my body so that I don't get reinjuried.  Today I can add foods; steak, potatoes, rice, oatmeal, grits, fat free sour cream etc.  I must watch the portions.  This cycle you get one day from Cycle 1 and then the next day you eat according to Cycle 2.  Alternating for 17 days.  I feel I did reasonably well during cycle 1, I will weigh in on the last day of cycle 3.  I do feel I have lost inches.

I am having steak, baked potatoes with light sour cream with mushroom and salad for lunch.  Fruit and yogurt smoothie for snack.  I had 2 scrambled eggs with grilled mushroom and coffee for breakfast.  Dinner will be made and served by Chef Wells at Life Group - Fit for the King.

American Idol -  I am watching this season of American Idol, Nicki has pulled me in.  She is a fashion icon.  I would never dress like her but I understand her and respect her style.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Finger Coils Day 1

Finger Coils - Day 1
Please don't think I am crazy I entered a Castor Oil Challenge with Kinky Curly Coily Me and we had to upload photographs
I joined my first challenge it starts on March 1 ends on June 1

Natural Hair Journey – Well, two of my favorite curl buddies wears finger coils and they look great.  I had thought I could not do them because my hair is longer.  Then I was surfing YT and saw several people with longer lengths doing them.  One woman had hair to her hips and had wonderful results.  So I focused in on the technique and got busy, it took 3 hours, YES but well worth it.  Now I don’t have to touch my hair until wash day.  I am loving the looks that are low manipulation.  It keeps me out of my hair which I need as I am always touching pulling throughout the day.  This style stays in place and looks well on me.  One Con is that in my crown area I have thin hair so this area tends to look scalpy.  But I was told to uncoil some in that area to fill in the space.  I may do so tomorrow or the next day but for today Hey it works. Another Con:  major shrinkage, I am a chick who likes big expanded hair so I am adjusting to the short cropped look.  I am learning so much about myself. 
 
I love the creativity that wearing my natural hair allows me.  At the drop of a hat I can change my look and I can do it myself.  My hair is allowing me to be independent and not dependent on a stylist having to wait until my appointment time.
 
Well you may say it took 3 hours, yes but the time went fast, I was able to multi task; talk on phone surf the net, read while coiling.  As I coiled I had this inner feeling that I was doing it right and that I would be pleased.  As I coiled my self confidence rose, I like knowing I can meet my own hair needs.  My daughter and cousin was amazed at how I did it and liked the finished look. 
 
This look is perfect for my lifestyle as I need more time in the morning, now I don’t have to untwist and fluff.  It works for my workout sessions I can tie it up or leave it loose, it won’t be in my way.  I brought leave in with me to apply before my workout.  I will let you know how long they last.  But this is Day 1 Hair, Rocking Finger Coils. 
 
I don’t consider this a protective style because all my hair is exposed. But it does allow me to put a cap on to cover it when I am outside in the cold.  Making it possible for me to get the hair over my hair, my afro does not allow this. 
 
 
OHHHHH products I used; Curls Crème Burlee – excellient moisture and shine, can be brought from Target.  I topped it with my Olive Oil (non alcohol) Eco Styling Gel, I was undecided between it and my Kinky Curly Custard.  My Kinky Curly is near to my heart and cost a pretty penny.  I did add my Kinky Curly Not Today as my Leave In but decided not to use the more expensive product.  I never use the Eco Styling Gel because I am not a big gel user I never have been.  But I brought it because it is popular in the natural hair community.  It didn’t fail me. 
 
 
Weight Loss Journey – I did not work out yesterday evening.  A dear friend’s mother was hospitialized so I tended to her.  I will be working out this evening J  This is Day 16 of Cycle 1.  YES  !

Monday, February 18, 2013

Cycle 1 Day 14 - SUNDAY BEST

Healthly Delicious Sunday Meal

Lord help me work to put an end to my idols.  I want to lean and trust in You during the good and bad times.  Lord I know with Your power all things are possible.  Thank You Lord. 


Hello it is Sunday and I am blogging.  I am with friends, eating, chit chatting and laughing.  Food was the bomb.  For real, healthy and delicious, it was a Win Win.   Being amongst friends that love the Lord is an awesome experience.  And the food was on POINT :)  Pure deliciousiness !  Everything was fresh which and the flavors were excellient. 

We gathered to continue planning for the YT Channel.  How exciting ! Things are moving along nicely and production will begin in the early Spring.  We have topics and we ae working to get content together and me together :)  We are praying over this venture and asking God's blessings and we want this Channel to give God the glory.  We want to celebrate being the women God so creatively made us.  We want to celebrate what God gave us and be grateful !  Grateful that he made us wonderfully.

Overall, today has been a very productive day, I shopped after church for my smoothie ingredients for the upcoming week.  My eating today has been on point.  No cheating :)  Pastor's sermon was wonderful, it helped me in my weight loss journey.  He discussed using things other than God as an idol.  You know my mind went straight to the food as my idol.  He discussed how idoling anything other than God leaves you messed up.  When I overeat and gain weight I feel awful and worthless.  Deacon Obie played Precious Lord take my hand, it was one of my mom's favorites.  I love old school worship and praise.


I worked out Saturday at 9:00 a.m. awsome workout.  God is continuing to allow me to work in my purpose.  No matter how I give up on myself he is there to carry me to my next task.  While at bootcamp I was asked to participate in Summer Quest for fitness.  God puts goals in my life to keep me working, to keep me motivated.  I am blessed to be able to help others and help myself.  Praise God.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Cycle 1 Day 12 - 4 Month Natural Hair Anniversary


On or around October the 1st of 2012 I decided to come out and show my natural hair.  This part of my hair journey has been only 4 short months.   To sum this up this journey has given me freedom.  Freedom to wash my hair when I feel like it.  If nothing else this feels so good.  If my hair feels dirty I can step in the shower and do something about it.  I no longer have to wait to my every 2 week appointment.  I can have a new do just by stepping into the shower.  I never imaged washing my hair 2x per week, when needed.  I never though I had this much power over my hair circumstance, because the power had always been in the hand of my stylist.  Nothing wrong with stylist, but I needed to be able to take care of my hair needs.  I needed to be able to know what my hair likes and dislikes.  I needed to be able to change my look. 

 
It feels so good knowing I can take care of my hair.  God always gives us what we need to do what we need to do.  Even with weight loss God gives us the resources, water and the ability to move to lose weight.  He gives us knowledge !  Knowledge is Power !

 
I never intended on going natural, that the funny thing.  NEVER EVER, NOT me !  You never know what GOD has in store for you.   I am so glad Ms. Juanita took good care of my hair every two weeks while I wore my weaves for years.  I am grateful I kept regular appointments so my hair could get water and her mom made oil mixtures that I purchased and put on my hair under the weave.  Amazing, I was getting natural oils from her mixture without even knowing the importance of it. 

 
So ladies I say to you wherever you are in your hair journal, relax, texture, natural, techlax, WHATEVER, take care of your hair, take care of your temple,  it is the hair God gave you. 

This journey has connected me with a young woman, I now have a sales clerk who is my buddy at Walgreen, when love to chat it up about makeup and hair.  She gives me samples because she knows I am planning this Meetup/Product Swap and said she would save me samples.  LOVE HER.   We talk natural hair and products, she knows her stuff too, which is nice.  I appreciate that Walgreen has a checkout counter in the cosmetic area with people who know or have a interest in beauty.   I invited her to our Meetup/Swap.  She was excited. 

Tomorrow a.m. I will be working out at 9:00a.m. and this evening after work.  I will be having breakfast with a girlfriend and we will chit chat it up.  Saturday is Wash day and DC day.  My daughter and I will be hanging out at Monica's Green Hair Event.  Next Saturday is the big event, but I want to check it out tomorrow.  Some of my other natural hair buddies may hang too.  EXCITING !



Weight Loss Journey - last night our fit for the king coach, Rose, shared her struggle and it helped us sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.  She is like the weight loss guru, her openiness, honesty really touched us in a humorous yet sincere way.  She is so special to us. 

Yesterday I had two donuts, one cookie, flatseed chips as people brought in treats from everywhere.  I put a dollar in our cheat box and called it a day.  I did my proper meals, but was tempted by all the sugary foods.  I am praying that I can anchor myself in the word and move forward in this journey.

It's not easy, but God can do anything but fail !

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Day 11 - Cycle 1 - Yesterday's Rant is Today's Rave

Old School vs New School - This is Beyonce's Super Bowl Outfit
I am thinking Tina is an idol of her's I notice she does a few of Tina's moves
This photo has absolutely nothing to do with my blog :)

 

 
Weight Loss Journey - God's Sense of Humor– Let me talk today about motivation.  Motivation and staying on course.  Right now I need motivation my workouts are difficult and I am greedy and love food.  Food has been my crutch for everything.  Absolutely everything.  I eat when I am happy, sad, angry, WHATEVER the occasion.  I eat when I am bored.  Life is life and our days will be full of mixed emotions.  I am asking God’s strength to pour into me and push me forward.  This is Day 10, and as I have told you along the way I have strayed here and there but not too bad.  Will God’s word keep me pushing forward, all the scriptures that tell me that he will give me strength, peace and blessings.  Right now the word of God is holding me accountable.  God has placed me in my purpose and has given me what I need to be successful.  I do know that faith with work, doesn’t work !  So I must continue to do my part.  Have these been rough days, yes but I must say they have not been the worse.

 
 
 
 FA (food addicts annoynous) prepared me for this, this journey is an individual process.  FA’s meal plan was so restrictive, no sugar no flour that now I am very in tune with not going to far.  Since FA I do not add sugar to my coffee or anything.  No added white sugar, I am very cautious and read food labels looking for sugars.  But I do still enjoy sweetness which I am getting through my yogurt with frozen fruit smoothies.  This has been my treat of the day. 

I have had rough days but I am grateful for pray and God’s word that has made this journey so much easier.  God has a wonderful sense of humor.  I am lead facilitator for Fit for the King.  Accountability J J 
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Yesterday's workout was again very challenging but I do modify along the way.  That was day number 3 of workouts for this week.  Tonight I will workout with Life Group Fit for the King.  We will get it in. 
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Review of NuLife's Fitness 30 minute Video @ $20.00 - I don't like to down a product but I posted it believeing it would be awesome. I am not gonna say you shouldn't buy it but don't pick it up based on my previous excitement. I reviewed it last evening. It is so not like Miesha's boot camp class that I grew to enjoy. There were far too many repetitions, it felt like there was high runs through the first 15 minutes. Now there is another video which is 26 bucks maybe it is more appropriate for what I need. But this one I give a big NO for me. I had hoped it was similar to a class workout with all the excitement it was boring to ME and this is MY opinion. But I still love Miesha's bootcamp for the time I was there, I was hoping this would replace class.
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RAVE - If you haven’t read yesterday’s blog please go back and read my rant regarding my job.  Now overall that problem still exists but the agency has sent out email informing all licensed counselor and social workers and management that that are raising our pay range in an attempt to retain us and to gain new licensed individuals.  People here especially new people have not been sticking around.  I have been here 19 years and have invested in 401K, vacation, sick time so we old timers stick around.  I would find it hard to walk about from 5 weeks vacation to start somewhere else with 2 weeks. 


They are saying that they value us and want to keep us around.  Even thought deep in my head I know they are losing boat loads of money on training and re-training the newbies.  Hey it helps.  Things became effective March 8th.  Praise God !  God is good and such a provider, ALL THE TIME !  I have to give God his glory it is because of him hearts have changed. 


Naural Hair Journey -  Last night I moisturized my 4 day old Marley high bun.  I take it off nightly, last night I gently moisturized the synethic hair to give it a little luster.  My hair is responding well to the low manipulation styling.  I love it and it loves me.  It is quite simple. 

Day 10 - Busy


MAC Russian Red how appropriate for Valentine Day





Natural Hair Journey – My natural hair buddies and I are working to bring a Meetup/Swap to women that are natural and those that just want info on how to take better care of your hair.  Please keep this event in pray.  We are planning for a early spring event.  I am working to gain sponsorship for giveaway bags.  Pray that we obtain sponsorship so that we can bless the ladies as this is a free event.  I reached out to one company that had a page on their site and they do not require a letter.  They spell out what they need which is helpful.  I will be working to develop a sort of media kit to present to them and present to other companies.  I believe I was lead to their site so that I can prepare in a different way, a more professional manner.  Again they are not demanding a lot, but it does require me to do some more work; developing a flyer, coming up with a definite date, require us to send them photos of events within 2 weeks after the event, they even give us permission to use their logo on our promotions, and they also want to know if any of their competitors are participating. etc.  Basically if they give us products they want to make sure we use their branding in a positive way which can bring more women to the awareness of their products.  Preparing for them in such a professional manner will give us a professional presence and hopefully lead to even other collorabations.  I am so ready to get this moving, I have to really set aside some time and work on flyer, etc.  I am praying for strength.  It can and will be done. 

 

OH yes this Saturday, Kinky Curly SO Straight Salon is featuring a Natural Hair event at Louis Stokes Auditorium, located at 325 Superior Ave NE 44114, Feb. 16th from 2 – 3:30 p.m.  To my knowledge this event is Free.  The next Saturday is the bigger event which is 15 bucks, given by Monica Green owner of Kinky Curly So Straight.  Me and some of my natural buddies are going, next Saturday so if you want to hang out let me know.  I plan to go this Saturday at 2 also, I need the educational piece.  Looking for ladies to hang out with me, come on.  My daughter is natural so she plans to hang out with me this Saturday too.  It will be fun.

 

Weight Loss Journey -  Enough about hair !  Yesterday I did my Tuesday AB work.  Amazing workout.  Hard as you know what, but so worth it.  Love it when it is OVER, 45 minutes of hard work.  My buddies were there it was like True Image all over again, 5 of us were there.  Deb actually showed a good way to modify frog jumps, I was so grateful. 

 
Yesterday I ate well I did have a peppermint patty low, which is not too bad.  I also had 1/2 bag of popped popcorn.  Other than that I did well.  Really good.  This is Day 9.  I am feeling like a Super Woman. 

 

Makeup – Speaking of Super Woman, Mac has a new limited edition line and I believe it is called Super Woman or either one of the lipsticks is called Super Woman.  I believe the lipstick within the collection is Super Woman.  I like the color of the lipstick a lot.  I am not a Mac Lipstick girl, there are so many other colors on the market for less that I enjoy.  But I have been drawn to this color, maybe when it is time to Back to Mac (take in 6 empty containers and you get a free lipstick) maybe I will be it up.  If not I will get Russian Red which is a beautiful red.





RANT - I wrote this section to vent.  I had to get it out.  :)

Stressful Day - When enough is never enough.  I try so hard to be in a positive stay of mind and see the good in life.  I try to not let petty things or people saying or acting petty ruin my day, ruin my spirit or as my mother would say take my joy from me.  But yesterday was one of those days where things at work really bothered me.  I notice things at work are bothering me more and more, the little things I use to allow roll off my back are upsetting to me.  I work hard to do my daily work and to be a good stewart of my time.  In order for me to do my job I gather information from so many sources and when that info isn't given in a timey fashion all eyes are on me.  Now I cannot control how fast people outside of our agency send me info.  First of all I am not there boss, they are most likely busy, and some of them just don't care about what all we need to properly assess a kid.  I work to get information so I can get what I need to do my job and others here can do their's.  You would think that I was purposely keeping info from them.  I even include them in my emails by cc ing them so they know I requested and they still complain.  Now I don't know what to do.  Now my supervisor is not complaining because she knows the struggle but our other departments are not as understanding.  At some point management has to get together and decide if we are gonna take kids before we gather all the info which means we lose money or if we continue to press to bring kids in and gather info as it glows in.  I have to gather school records, medical records, insurance information, now I AM THE THERAPIST, but I have to get other info for their specific needs.  Right now I am tired.  I have sent back email chosing my words carefully defining myself, nothing harsh just covering my behind.  Pray ya'll.  Sis Nessa is tired. Thanks for allowing me to vent ! :)