Welcome to Olivia's Daughter....a blog that I created in March 2010 to document my blessed journey of healing. Since I began this blog, my mother has gone home to be with the Lord along with my son, Chris Reshaud Jordan, who was murdered in October 2009. After these two devastating events, I felt forsaken by God. I cried out to the Lord seeking my purpose in life. Throughout this experience, I had to make the choice to surrender to a life of worthlessness or to live my life to the fullest, a life filled with abundance and love.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
I continue to be thankful for life and good health. This morning at 4:00 a.m. my phone woke me up. At this time of night you know the call may not be good. I received news that my cousin Oscar Jacob had passed away. I am grateful that he gave his life to Christ. He was a man who loved his family. The last time I saw him was at my mother's Home Going. He got up and said some good words about my mother's life and influence on him. This is the kind of man he was, a good, good family man. He will be missed so much !
Anytime there is death I grieve, anytime I grieve, I mean anytime. I also connect with the family that is left. After my son passed away I stopped watched the news on local television. There was too much death and bad things in the news. Gradually I have begun to connect to the news, last evening I saw the verdict of Mike Brown indictment. I felt for the parents and the family. They did not receive the justice they felt they deserved. I understand the young men that murdered my son, were sentenced to prison but not a lot of time. People began to tell me, that's not fair, I had to tell family and friends, it was ok. God would handle the situation. I could not go into that zone of unfairness I had enough on my plate, I was trying to clear my plate. So I hope the Brown Family can begin to move forward and forgive. Now my issue arise daily, it rises in my mood and my physical health. For the past 2 weeks I have been feeling physically better. For this I am grateful. Today I am feeling and sitting here I am dealing with my feelings. Remembering my love ones and knowing that death is a part of the cycle of life. God loves us all and calls us home. While I am here on earth I want to plant seed of love and create wonderful memories. I am careful how I talk to others and how I behave because this is what people see in me. I want others' to see the good to see the God in me.
Oscar I miss you already. I know your struggle and you worked through your struggles. Hopefully the rest of us left here will do the same. Love U cuz !
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Today I am grateful for waking up thanking God for my health and Strength! As a child growing up in church I use to hear my church family testify to being ‘thankful for their health and strength’. I had no idea of the meaning, because during that time I took my health and strength for granted. Oh yes, they use to and for ‘being in my right mind’. Almost every testimony would begin this way. I now know that they were speaking from their life experience of what they had witnessed. They had seen chronic illnesses, seen family in nursing home and witnessed death. They were thankful for having the ability to get up with their right minds; focusing on God and venturing into their daily task. Being independent enough to bath and feed themselves. YES I get it !
What I know now is that you have to honor your temple and treat it as a gift. We as individuals have to challenge ourselves to healthy eating and proper exercise. Most of what we do and eat triggers our health. Both my parents had awful eating habits, I mean awful. My mother use to say I have to die from something so give me some more pie LOL Yes it was sort of funny but boy I wish she had taken her health a bit more serious. She passed away from complications to being diabetic. Yes her poor eating habits resulted in her chronic illness resulting in her death.
I stand this day with a plan for the future of me and my family. I will continue on my path of health eating, clean eating, diet, whatever you need to call it. I am looking to God for direction and listening to his voice in my life. I have been so bad in every area of my life. My depression put me in a hole of self destruction. Every bite of unhealthy food I ate, I ate to feel better, but it didn’t work, I was feeling so bad, it felt like a unbreakable cycle. I am so grateful for the prayers of my church family and my family. I have disappointed some, and for this I am sorry. God in working in me on a daily basis. I was existing barely.
Today I celebrate my daughter’s 28th birthday. She made reservation and asked if I planned to come. I said of course she texted me a big YAY. She understands my depressed mood. I want her to have positive memories of me and know I need to be there for her. If a pass away tomorrow I want her to be able to remember this birthday today and that I was there for her. I have entered a new phase in my life and I feel so much better. I work to keep the negative thoughts out which allows God to connect and work in me.
If anyone reads this and you identify I hope you find it helpful in your life. Leave a comment if you would like.
TALKING OUT LOUD ON PAPER.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Lord God you have brought me from a mighty long way. You have brought me into the marvelous light. Lord continue to work your hand of mercy in my life, family and friends. God you are amazing. I thank You and I am grateful for Your love.
Natural Hair Journey - Well I had an opportunity to chat with one of my curly friends. She wears finger coils and she gave me some helpful tips. I had worn mine coiled and she taught me how to uncoil with less frizz. Frizz is a natural girls enemy. Althought I have learn some naturals say they enjoy a little frizz to add volume. Me myself I don't need the frizz I like a cleaner look. I got up an extra 1/2 hour early this morning to uncoil. Once it is coiled then uncoiled it is a low maintenance low manipulation hair style. I will moisturize tonight and oil my ends and use my castor oil on my edges and crown. Oh yeah, uncoiling my hair gave me a fuller look in my crown area, and my hair looks less scalpy. Again I love the versatility of natural hair.
One thing I am seeing is that I look ok with short hair, I have always had medium length, shoulder length hair. Never had short hair, no weave, my hair, wig nothing. Even as a child I have always had shoulder length hair now with the shrinkage I am rocking short looks. I have always felt my head was WAY too big for short hair, I used my hair to contour my head , using bangs, swoops etc. Now I am seeing myself clearly ALL of me adjusting to seeing all of me. I am even wearing less makeup this week I have not worn liquid medium to full foundations. I have used powders it seems like with my face exposed I don't want to be overly made up. Now I am not giving up makeup but just adjusting to my new look. I love waking up to see how my hair is gonna behave :)
Weight Loss Journey - Today starts Day 1 of Cycle 2 - Well I have been steady in my workouts, I felt sore yesterday from Tuesday workout, so I didn't go. I am working to listen to my body so that I don't get reinjuried. Today I can add foods; steak, potatoes, rice, oatmeal, grits, fat free sour cream etc. I must watch the portions. This cycle you get one day from Cycle 1 and then the next day you eat according to Cycle 2. Alternating for 17 days. I feel I did reasonably well during cycle 1, I will weigh in on the last day of cycle 3. I do feel I have lost inches.
I am having steak, baked potatoes with light sour cream with mushroom and salad for lunch. Fruit and yogurt smoothie for snack. I had 2 scrambled eggs with grilled mushroom and coffee for breakfast. Dinner will be made and served by Chef Wells at Life Group - Fit for the King.
American Idol - I am watching this season of American Idol, Nicki has pulled me in. She is a fashion icon. I would never dress like her but I understand her and respect her style.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
|Finger Coils - Day 1|
|Please don't think I am crazy I entered a Castor Oil Challenge with Kinky Curly Coily Me and we had to upload photographs|
I joined my first challenge it starts on March 1 ends on June 1
Monday, February 18, 2013
|Healthly Delicious Sunday Meal|
Lord help me work to put an end to my idols. I want to lean and trust in You during the good and bad times. Lord I know with Your power all things are possible. Thank You Lord.
Hello it is Sunday and I am blogging. I am with friends, eating, chit chatting and laughing. Food was the bomb. For real, healthy and delicious, it was a Win Win. Being amongst friends that love the Lord is an awesome experience. And the food was on POINT :) Pure deliciousiness ! Everything was fresh which and the flavors were excellient.
We gathered to continue planning for the YT Channel. How exciting ! Things are moving along nicely and production will begin in the early Spring. We have topics and we ae working to get content together and me together :) We are praying over this venture and asking God's blessings and we want this Channel to give God the glory. We want to celebrate being the women God so creatively made us. We want to celebrate what God gave us and be grateful ! Grateful that he made us wonderfully.
Overall, today has been a very productive day, I shopped after church for my smoothie ingredients for the upcoming week. My eating today has been on point. No cheating :) Pastor's sermon was wonderful, it helped me in my weight loss journey. He discussed using things other than God as an idol. You know my mind went straight to the food as my idol. He discussed how idoling anything other than God leaves you messed up. When I overeat and gain weight I feel awful and worthless. Deacon Obie played Precious Lord take my hand, it was one of my mom's favorites. I love old school worship and praise.
I worked out Saturday at 9:00 a.m. awsome workout. God is continuing to allow me to work in my purpose. No matter how I give up on myself he is there to carry me to my next task. While at bootcamp I was asked to participate in Summer Quest for fitness. God puts goals in my life to keep me working, to keep me motivated. I am blessed to be able to help others and help myself. Praise God.