Seeking Godly Words !

I continue to experience the love of God. He is the true living God. I appreciate God in my life and He gives me hope. Thank You Lord for your salvation.

Yesterday I took care of some important business. After the close, life altering losses in my life, I am working to plan. My mom planned for her home going throughout her life. She told me what to do in the event of her death, and I have learned from her example. She paid her insurance policies timely, she made sure me/family would have a home that was paid for upon her death. A few years before she passed she began to sell off her cherished furnishing and hats as she wanted to get the financial benefit of these objects. But she made sure I didn’t want them. She left me her most treasured piece of furniture old antique ice box which is priceless. I had always had my mom as my beneficiary in the event I passed away first. Now that she is gone, I had to change mine. I did it, because I want have to prepare a will and a living will with directives for my medical care if need be. It is what my mom taught me. I decide who to leave my polices to. Yesterday I did this, I made a decision and left it at that. This is a relief. Dominique and Jayden to have a bit of security. I want them to be able to bury me without the stress of not having insurance in their name. I wanted to put the policy together as if it were a will, spelling out my desires of how and when Jayden’s part would be spent. But I was not able to, so I am trusting God and his mother to do the right thing.


I blog/journel because it gives me an outlet to express myself. As a therapist I understand and appreciate the importance of getting it out and dealing with the problem. But realistically it is difficult for me. I will often take the hurt instead of passing it on to the deserving person. It gives me an opportunity to get things out. I am not real good about getting things out. Especially in my interpersonal relationships. I often want to say things but fear I will hurt other’s feelings. So then I walk around carrying stuff/junk. I am asking God to give me tactful/Godly words. I promised myself in 2011 I would take care of me, and do things that are important for me. I would say I have been 60/40 on this. I want to be tactful/Godly in using my words, when I keep things in for so long when it comes out it often doesn’t sound good. I need to make baby steps on using my Godly words.

Yesterday’s workout was good. Camille is our Tuesday evening instructor. She was disappointed that our music system was not functioning properly. Even though it was not she still managed to give us a good workout. My heartbeat was definitely up. I was able to do all my crunches, even the ones when you hold your legs straight up. YEAH. My suicides were not as good, but I did as many as I could. I actually did 2 45 minutes planks, which use to kill my left shoulder. I modified them. They are excellent for building core muscles. EXCELLENT.

Foods and water intake yesterday could have been better. Five glasses of water instead of 8. I also had a few two many Doritos with my turkey taco. Everything else was cool, plenty of fruit, Jayden and I shared an apple, and he loves apples, oranges and banana. Not as much banana, I think his favorite is orange slices. I usually keep my fruit in my bedroom, so I can reach them quickly. He loves to find them and tear into them. This is good. He also likes the steamed veggies.

Today’s eating is good: breakfast, two boiled egg whites, coffee with ½ and ½. Lunch: Progresso 70 calorie a cup soup, and an apple. Not very hungry, I think yesterday’s Doritos are still in my system J

I see Ms. Juanita this evening after work. I need to be freshened up. My do is hit, my workouts wipe my hair out. I even wrap it but sweat still affects the hair, and it is if there is a build up of cakeiness. YUCK ! I am sure I will feel like a Queen when I leave her chair. She works magic on me.