Welcome to Olivia's Daughter....a blog that I created in March 2010 to document my blessed journey of healing. Since I began this blog, my mother has gone home to be with the Lord along with my son, Chris Reshaud Jordan, who was murdered in October 2009. After these two devastating events, I felt forsaken by God. I cried out to the Lord seeking my purpose in life. Throughout this experience, I had to make the choice to surrender to a life of worthlessness or to live my life to the fullest, a life filled with abundance and love.


God has strengthened me. I am seeking Him daily and and working to live in His will which is leading me to my purpose and passion. I think of Chris and Olivia constantly, but I have turned this over to God. I want God to use me as his vessel giving Him the glory.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Support



Lord I thank You for placing me here, right now. I like the place I am in. Give me what I need to encourage myself and others.

This morning as I got ready for work, my thoughts shifted to my parents. I think of them often, how they encouraged me to know my worth in life. Well my mother did a better job of encouraging, my dad only seemed to like me when I was on target. Then he gave praises. But whatever, I am glad to have had them both. I had thoughts of being in this world all alone because they are both deceased. Then my mind instantly shifted to God and His love and all the people that he has placed in my life to encourage and support me. I immediately went into praise mode. Grateful Grateful Grateful !!!! The love my parents offered lingers in my memory. Their example of support to me and others allows me to be able to give it to others. I know how it looks. I prided myself on not being a taker, a user and during my storm this prideful thinking got in my way of allowing others to help me. I am a therapist by professional so I have spent the last 17 years helping others. The shoes were now on my feet and I hated it. I did not want to appear soft, weak etc. To a certain degree I blocked God out.

As I reflect I realize I need others, people need people. I knew God’s people were praying for me and for that I will be eternally grateful. They prayed for me when I could not pray for myself. I now share tears with those I have chosen to be safe with and it feels good to release it. I can talk it out instead of shutting down and eating everything in sight. I ballooned up to 244 lbs living a life of rejecting help. I am now practicing accepting the help of others, and I see it as a victory to God. During the storm I learned so much, and God is revealing Himself to me daily. I came through the storm in one piece to discover that I am living in my purpose. What God put me through was to make me who I am today. A woman who knows her worthy, her beauty and a great love for others. My daily prayer is that I make God proud and do not turn from His works in me and allow pride to get in the way and to be humble.

I do feel honored that I know the True and Living God and that He lives in me. I strive to live a life of worship, getting up everyday that I am blessed with giving God the glory. As I write this I think of my mother Olivia who was this type of person, she dedicated her life to Christ and made it real clear that she loved the Lord. I see myself in her in so many ways; I use to strive to look like her because she was so beautiful to me. Now I strive to have a heart like hers that strived to love the Lord and allow others to know Christ.

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