Lord you are so gracious.
Your favor always amazes me. How
you use Your people to help and bless others.
You align things in my life, when
I am obedient. When I humble myself
You show up. Thank You for your favor,
grace and mercy. Lord I am trying !
_______________________________________________________
Please don’t
judge me ! Read and be blessed by the content !
I am Vanessa I have
an addictive personality. Really I
do. It Is What It Is! I write this for those that may
identify. I am calling myself out and
preaching to the choir. I am coming out
of my secret closet of addiction.
My addictive personality shows up in my eating habits. I am
addicted to sugar and flour.
Today at work, a coworker brought some cute little sweet
cookies. She invited me to have some, I
told her no. She said one won’t hurt
you. I explained to her that taking one
for me puts the taste of sugar in my mouth and I will continue to eat them
until they are all gone. I am going
through some things right now in my life and as I am a known emotional eater I
will eat every cookie in this place. I
will neglect the salad I brought in for lunch and seek out other foods like
pizza for lunch.
I said all that to say that I cannot have one. I am working to stay focused and not allowing
my eating to go out of control this week.
I am doing everything within my means to stay focused. Blogging is one of the tools I use to stay
focused. So bear with me.
In addition to being a food addict. I am a
shopping addict. You see addictions takes on many forms. Some drink, do drugs, gamble or have sexual
addictions. Not me give me some sugar
and a mall and I’m good. But that’s not
good for me, because things spiral all out of control. When I am feeling down and out I need to seek more of Jesus. He is the answer. You see the sweetness of the sugar, gives me
a temporary rush and satisfaction.
Shopping, buying out of control gives me a temporary thrill. God loves order and being out of control in
my life means things are out of order.
One has never been
enough, when I see a dress I like in one color I am searching like crazy to
see if there are others in different colors.
And the same with shoes. I am
sick of it. I am giving it up. Now I write this blog in my mother’s honor,
but I am gonna rat her out on this one.
Sorry Ma ! I learned my shopping
habits and eating habits from her. My
dad had excellent credit, he prided himself on it. I liked walking into anywhere with the power
as a consumer to get what he wanted. I
choose to be more like Ma. She loved to
dress me and shopped all the time. Poor
eating I learned from both parents. I
say to say, my childhood habits have to be broken. They are keeping me from freely serving the Lord,
why because my focus is on other crazy stuff instead of the Lord. I am asking for God’s forgiveness.
I have been on a NO
BUY; no makeup, no clothes, no shoes.
Nothing ! I have an abundance of
things that I have accumulated. The plan
is for me to not buy and use what I have.
I have been doing ok with it. I
have not been to the mall, I have gone to a drug store and skimmed through
cosmetics but didn’t purchase. Now I do
need to pick up some skin care products and I will because I feel this is a necessity. Check this out, I have back ups of my back
ups when it comes to makeup. The way my addiction works on me is a
sin. A form of idolatry. Nothing
should stand in Your way of reaching out to God and trusting Him to make things
right. My mom use to always tell me God is a Jealous God.
I pray if these are issues of yours that you will take the
time to analyze your weak areas, ask God for strength and move forward.
I am praying that everyone has a really safe blessed day and
that you feel the presence of the Lord in your life.
Follow my beauty and fashion blogs at Squidoo.
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