Celebrating 160 years of serving families and children 

All praises be to God !  ALL praises be to God !  Lord you reign over all the earth with magnificent power and love.  I am grateful that you are a loving and forgiving God.  I am pleased that God designed me the way that I am.  Lord You know the purpose of my design, so use me Lord.

This year our agency is celebrating 160 year birthday.  WOW.  We are still standing, our agency began as an orphanage.  On our walls the founders and funders hang.  I stand in total respect for these individuals who had a vision for helping the helpless.  Our agency works hard to keep our founders vision alive.  Our agency is restructuring all over the place.  I sit, watch and listen. Our agency has been so good at making necessary changes to keep our non profit agency running.  Change can be hard for us, but we must remember God is a provider and has a plan for each and every one of us.  If my position falls under the restructure I know God is in the plan and I will not fear and trust that is plan is what’s best for me.  I do not want to get so comfortable that I hardened to change and become defiant and disobedient to His will.  I pray that this agency will stand to serve children and families for many years to come.  The work that we do is so special in helping and serving families. 

Our agency is having a Beech Ball which is our yearly fund raiser.  I plan to attend in support of Beech Brook.  Tickets are 100 bucks, but well worth the support to an agency in which I have worked for nearly 18 years.  Our mental health agency has high rating in the State of Ohio for service and compliance.  Our key leadership has worked their way up the rank to Presidents and VP, so they have had experience doing direct care with families and this is important. 

Beech Brook has involvement with Chardon Schools, so when the shooting occurred, BB leadership was called upon to help with mental health services to school staff and youth who witnessed the tragedy.  None of the victims or gunmen were BB clients.  The head of mental health services for the State of Ohio and the Governor met with our school base leaders to discuss preventive services that could be put in place.  Government leadership is aligning themselves to put more services in place to help our youth.  Praise God ! Praise God ! 

I am fortunate to have good leadership at the workplace and at my church.  It is not easy making critical decisions, but they make it look easy.  I am trusting God and keep leadership in my prayers.  I have never wanted to supervise and move up the chain, it is not me, because I don’t like being responsible for other’s work nor do I like to take work home.  I know my role and respect those that God has chosen to lead.

Beauty:  Fashion Alert : Avalon Exchange on Coventry $1.00 day starts Friday and Saturday.  I am not sure about if it carries over to Sunday.  They have clothing from their store and other Avalon stores that have been brought in for this special weekend.  Pick up trendy and vintage clothing.  

Random Goodness

Random Goodness

Lord You are magnificent in all that You do.  You have all power and are so deserving of my praise.  Allow me to have a peaceful day, allow me to walk in your perfect will.  Give me the motivation I need to continue in my journey.  Bless my coworkers that are under stress.  Bless and protect our mission’s team as they work to bless others. Keep them safe and in good health.  Praying for the victims in Chardon and their families and the suspect and their families.

Today the weather is so nice and calming.  The sun is shining and I see Spring time coming around the corner.  Spring is my best season of the year.  I love to taking long walks, watching the flowers grow and bloom. 

Yesterday was yesterday.  It is history.  I made the best of it and I am moving forward in today.  I handled some important things and was productive at work.  I honored God in things that I did throughout the day.  I pray that today is so blessed. 

Yesterday some of my coworkers were hit with the restructuring of their jobs.  Some in fear of losing their jobs and some just not liking the feeling of not being appreciated.  One lady I know loves the Lord and we often have church at work, giving God the glory.  She was a part of the restructing and when I asked someone how did she take the news, they said she was the one of the only ones in the meeting smiling. I immediately thought she knows the Lord is a provider and that she is loved by God and appreciated by God.  When we had the opportunity to talk and discuss, she broke out in praise and began to express scripture that she holds in her heart.  She has joy and on top of it excellent work skills and has always been open to learn and change in the work environment. 

Since Chris’ death I very rarely look at the TV news, too depressing.  I hate to see so much violent.  I hide myself from it and have put myself in a protective bubble.  But I do listen to the radio and have internet access so I heard about the Chardon shooting.  As soon as I heard I thought of the victim’s family and the suspect’s family.  My heart throbbed and I had that funny feeling in my stomach.  It retriggers my feelings when I heard about Chris. I tend to talk about my mother’s passing more than Chris because it hurt me in a different manner.  The  Lord can heal their hearts my prayer is that they have a relationship with the Lord, if not that their brokenness will lead them to the Lord.   I pray for the PEACE that surpassing ALL understanding. 

Beauty:  That we know that we are beautiful women of God.  Created by God and know that God gave us ALL gifts and talents that He needs us to use for His glory. 

Battlefield for my Lord !!!!!

On the Battlefield for my Lord and I promised Him I serve Him til I die !

I love the Lord he heard my cry, Lord You are so worthy of the Praise.  I thank You and so grateful for your mercy.  I love You Lord !  I am asking for forgiveness !

On the Battlefield for my Lord and I promised Him I serve Him til I die !  Lord these words ring so true for me and many that serve you daily.  As this hymn was sung I became very emotional and could not the tears.  First because these hymns were the songs of my childhood, which I treasure.  Now I can sing them as my mother did with the same understanding she had for the words.  My mother was faithful to the end and gave God the glory for everything, she praised Him through her suffering and pain.  Her words were always I’m ready, I’m ready.  She was confident that her life was pleasing to God and that she was going HOME.  I have the same surrendering of my heart, I am so fortunate to have had Olivia as my mother.  Her example was above board.  As I stood there listening to this elderly woman sing, God revealed to be that my mother’s prayer was always that I have a RELATIONSHIP with the Lord.  I was so grateful that she knew I loved the Lord before her passing.  The prayers of a mother……………………..

My weekend was so awesome !  Friday I saw Good Deeds, it was so good.  Tyler is amazing.  Tyler is gifted and working in his passion.  This leads me to follow up on Pastor’s sermon, when he said if you are working in your passion you are willing to do it for free.  I know there are things that I am doing now that are so special to me that I can’t wait to plan and do them.  God prepares my heart and prepares me for the task he has set out for me to do.  I was sharing with someone last week that I am not stressed by it that it blesses me.  It was if Pastor was speaking to me.  He is such a good shepherd, I am grateful that I have had a few occasions to tell him this.  Giving him his flowers while he yet lives.

Saturday I took care of such much needed business.  I was able to go see my friend’s mother in the hospital who had a stroke.  She is such a real sweet heart.  She always has kind things to say.  As I was walking away from her bed, she said hey you lost weight you able a size 10, and she smiled.  I said to my friend, she not that sick and we laughed out loud for real.  Her mother is such a faithful woman, she loves the Lord and her family so much.  My girlfriend is so faithful as we left the hospital she said, we all got to leave here don’t we.  I could relate and knew what she meant as she is a Christian and believes in God’s perfect will.  Their family has suffered several significant loses and when this happens life takes on another perspective.  You begin to really know that death happens and that God will heal.  I am glad was I was able to be with them.

Sunday Worship service was amazing.  Pastor was so funny when he said “we have not gone disco”.  Again the worship singer was so awesome celebrating our history in such a manner was incredible and touching.   After service I cooked a really good wholesome meal.  Nique came over and we all had dinner, talked and laughed.  My time with Nique (daughter) is so special to me.  We are close in a special way, because our loses keep us moving and give us special gratefulness to one another.  We get to talk about Chris and my mom and laugh.  Ariel chimes in and we allow her in as she loved them too.  We need these special times together when it is just us.  I am grateful that God gives us the time together in such Peace and Harmony.  Nique has such a peaceful heart; she is much like her father who is a friend to everyone.  That is his major strength he is a good guy and everyone loves him. 

Beauty:  Instead of me and Nique going to Washbi (sp) we ate dinner at home.  We took the monies we would have spent at Washbi and went to Target.  We picked up some beauty products, I got a really nice UP and UP concealer brush and a Sonia Kashi brush.  The Sonia Kashi brush was on sale for 1.73 really good price and I am using it to brush setting power under the eye, it is the perfect size.  We got a ELF bronzer, really nice, for 3 dollars.  When we got back home I gave Nique some make up tips in application.  I gave her some polishes as I am using the Sensationail gel kit.  I always gave her some NYX pigment shadows, and some products for her skin.  It was a lot of fun. 

Oh yeah, Friday I went down on Coventry to Avalon.  Remember the video Whitney Houston was in when she had the motor cycle jacket and the jeans, well that is my favorite look of hers.  Well I found a very similar leather jacket for 22 bucks, unbelievable.  The leather is like butter.  I also got a suede coat which is a Terri Lewis from HSN.  I have always loved her coats and I was able to get it for 20 dollars, yeah it was a real bargain.  The suede is in excellent shape.  It was 24 and we negotiate it down to 20.  I also picked up a velvet ruffled jacket, tag was on it for 115.00 I paid 14.  It is tailored really nice, I am excited about it the designer is escape (sp).  I got 3 jackets in 3 different materials; leather, suede and velet.  The sales lady and I discussed the bargains in the upcoming sale which starts this Friday $1.00 sale.  She said things have been brought in from other stores and they have nice things. 

Sometimes I go on and on !  See ya.

Give Me My Flowers and Hugs Now

Lord you are so magnificient.  You grow me daily and pour into me and teach me Your ways.  I want to do Your bidding in Your perfect will.  Lord help me to be Your vessel and keep my focus on Your purpose for me.  Remove any flaws that stand in the way of my usefulness to YOU.

Yesterday I completed a ton of work and cleared my desk.  When my work piles up I get overwhelmed and either put it off getting further behind or I kick butt and keep it movin.  It felt really good driving into work today knowing I had a fresh start.  My department is going through restructuring and two coworkers are leaving our office space to go upstairs.  Our department is tightly bonded so we will miss them. 

Last evening I attended prayer and Life Group always a wonderful experience.  I enter into the sanctuary expecting a blessing.  I had a nice conversation with friend/business partner after prayer. We will be planning an upcoming children’s party.  Elmo is the theme.  We have not been taking on events recently so maybe this will get us fired up. 

Today I will be working out at Tru Image.  I got to get it in.  I am consciously drinking water this week.  After Tru Image we are taking the ladies in Fit for the King to WHOLE FOODS for our fellowship.  We will tour the store and have dinner from the food bar.  This group has really been a blessing to me.  I enter into the group with very lil nervousness, lil anxiety.  This is God, I am not a teacher nor a public speaker so I am stretched, but this is an area of which I am passionate and it is God’s will for me.  Our coach is encouraging and likes that we have put together creative things for the ladies.  In the next couple weeks we have ladies coming in from NCBF that have been successful with weight loss come in and offer their testimonies sharing their successes, struggles and how they have relied on God for strength. 

For Lent I gave up saying negative things in the office place.  WOW – My prayer is that I doing this for 40 days will become a habit for me and help me be a real example of God’s love.  My coworker’s were trying to explain to me that venting is therapeutic (we are all therapist).  But I stood my ground and I will not say anything that can be perceived as harmful to others.  Hey I got to start somewhere J  After Whitney’s death the Lord revealed to me that harmful word and judging others really can be harmful.  Everybody has a desire to be loved and accepted.  I think about if my life was one of a celebrity and turned on my TV to see all my flaws on TV, how would I respond, what would I do.  I would I handle the embarrassment and shame.  To think that my mother would know things that I didn’t want her to know, my children being subject to my craziness all over the news.  So I plan to be real cautious in how I talk about others.  This is a good thing, because this is a weakness of mine and God wants to grow me in this area.  I really am working to understand what do I get out of talking negatively about others.  If I am removing this what do I replace it with.  Kind thoughts, Kind words, YES !  Why wait until someone is dead to see all the goodness in them.  As my mother use to tell me “give me my flowers while I yet live”don't wait until I am dead.  Speak kind words to me now.  

Beauty:  Sensationail by Nailene :  Gel Nails - Yes at last affordable home gel kit with excellient reviews.  Cost of unit was 59.00, CVS clerk gave me a 10 dollar off product coupon and I had a 5.00 off CVS extra buck coupon.  Now check this out, when you buy the unit the register prints off a $10 off store coupon.  So this is a total of $25.00 savings.  Now a good gel manicure can cost you up to 40 bucks, and this kit comes with one color and enough products for 10 full set manicures.  WOW !  The clerk gave me two other 2 off coupons for additonal polish kits which are on sale for 11.99.  Loving it.  I am not one to go to the nail shop, so this will work for me at home.  I have uploading a tutorial with the how to instructions.  Don't sleep on CVS and their extra buck coupons designed especially for beauty products.

Work Family

  Lynn  30 years

 Racine - 20 years

Lord thank you so much, Thank You !  I am grateful for your promises.  I trust You in my life and enjoy having You work in me.  I feel blessed most of the day and for this I am grateful.  I am standing Lord.  Lord I am standing !  To God be the glory.

As I have a church family, I also have a work family.  A member of my work family actually brought me to NCBF.  I admired her strength, kindness and generosity and I wanted these qualities.  She spoke often of her church in such a positive way, so she invited me one Sunday to watch her daughter praise dance and I just kept right on coming.  I saw God in her in the workplace, yeah the workplace.  She always gave God the glory in all she did and she was blessed.  She and I are awesome friends, we are girls together.  I have a few NCBF in my workplace, oh what a real blessing. 

Last month at work we had our quarterly meeting where staff receives recognition for years of service.  My work family has worked at Beech Brook for years, like 20 to 30 years or more.  I am the baby of the crew with 17 years of service.  I have uploaded a couple photographs of two of my dear friends receiving service rewards of recognition.  I am so proud of these ladies as we sort of grew up here together at Beech Brook, raised our children together, grieved loses together and lived life together.  These are the type of buddies when you broke you can email or call and say hey you got a couple to payday and we got each other’s back. I praise God for these special friendships. 

I remember when Chris passed my friend Terri came to hospital took me home with her so I would not be alone and I stayed with her for at least 3 nights, she nurtured me and helped to get me together.  I was looking and feeling real rough, she made sure I ate, bathed etc.  Because at that time I didn’t or couldn’t move.  We have known each other for about 30 years as we worked at CWRU together in HR and now at Beech Brook.  Sabrina who brought me to NCBF wrote my son’s obituary, LaVisa is the youngest of our Beech Brook family and she came to Terri’s house daily to make sure I had took care of business, calling insurance, shopping etc.  I call her the boss.  I am fortunate to have my work family.  My work family has always kept me wanting to work at Beech Brook, because I know and love the people I work with.  Sabrina and LaVisa introduced me to Tru Image, what a blessing.  When I was at 244 lbs LaVisa pulled me in her office and said you going back to Tru Image, and said I’m your friend somebody got to tell you, you not a diva no more.  I was shocked but it was true.  During those days of my grief, I showered no lotion, no makeup, and no real style.  I was wearing the same clothes to work, I would wash them and wear them back the next day, and I wore a scull cap to work every day.  Boy oh Boy  It was a wake up call.  This is why I call LaVisa the boss.  When I didn’t have workout clothes that fit she  brought me an outfit of hers to wear so I would have no excuses.  On March 1^st 2011 I walked back into Tru Image with a made up mind. 

These ladies stood in court with me with Chris when he was in trouble, oh what a day to remember, a real miracle of love. 

                                                               

Beauty:  OK, the Instyler, is awesome !!!  I checked the reviews and compared the CHI to the Instyler and felt the Instyler was my best option.  My coworker (church family) brought hers in so I could sample it.  I printed a Bed Bath and Beyond couple for 20% off and purchased it.  I went home used it and my hair was instantly pull of body and shine.  Right !  Yes !  I love body, the CHI would not have given me this type of body, the brush and high temperature of heat work together to give me fullness, body and shine.  I needed a better hair tool my old one was not performing. 

*****Jayden update***** Jayden is trying harder to cooperate with potty training.  He had a dry night and went to the potty this morning, pointed at it and clapped with excitement.  We gave him a lil reward he was thrilled.

Weekend:  Dominique and I plan to go to dinner, she wants to go to Washbi on Saturday, I made the mistake of giving her the option.  I may have to make the decision and go somewhere I can EAT.  Their food will have me FLOATED.  It is too good and I don’t want to lose control.  Hopefully she will understand.  We will have fun otherwise.  She loves Washbi. 

Friday evening, me and some ladies are going to see Good Deeds.  I know we will have a good time. 

Sunday, NCBF to receive the Word.

Fat Tuesday – RANT/RAVE

Lord thank You for continuing to bless my spirit.  I feel brand new today; I know it is Your mercy.  You abide in me and because of this I feel loved.  Lord I love You; I give You the glory in everything I do.

Rant/Rave - Today is another day that the Lord has blessed me.  Yes I feel blessed and I am curious how He will use me today.  I want to keep my focus on living a life that glorifies God.  I have to practice seeing how God would approve the things that I do.  Yesterday I got a text from someone dear to me, making a manipulative demand.  I saw right through what they were trying to do.  My response to their demand was “sorry I can’t do that” without saying anything more.  Now that was God, a year ago I would have GONE OFF, telling this individual what I really thought of their remark.  My response would have been unloving and harsh; this is the Vanessa that is ugly on the inside.  My words would have harmed our relationship for life; I would have cut her up with my words.  They got the message and later in the day we had a good casual conversation, which felt good to me.  You see it is the simple day to day things that I am allowing God to do in my life.  My prayer is that they come to the realization that manipulation looks ugly and does not work.  In the past if I hadn’t cut you up with words I would have over explained why I couldn’t do what you wanted.  Feeling the need to be liked.  I know now that manipulation is not of God and I do not have to explain myself. I know if you disapprove of me or don’t like my actions, God loves me and approves my Godly response.  I say this all to the glory of God.  In my actions I also showed God that I love Him more than any earthly thing.  I know man can disappoint and this is cool, but God never fails.  We all fall short. 

Rant - This morning on my drive to work I got a call from another person trying to manipulate me and volunteer me into doing something.  My thing is if you are lead by God to do something, You go ahead and do it.  Don’t volunteer my name.  Present the situation to me and allow me and allow me to volunteer myself.  Not that I don’t want to help, but I cannot do everything for everybody, not to prove to someone that I am a Christian.  January 1, 2011 I said to myself, if I really am not lead by God to do something, I don’t do it.  I have never liked to be controlled, I have been in controlled relationships and I did not do well.  I guess what I am trying to say is love me for me. Don’t judge me based on what you can or cannot get me to do.  I remember my mother you always say when she felt she was being controlled, “I am ____ years old and my mama and daddy dead”.  I know what she meant.  I am Olivia’s daughter.  DO NOT tell me what to do, in a sly manipulative manner.  I feel like a real person now, that I am working to live in God’s will.  I see everything so differently.  God must be working on me in this area.

When people try to control and manipulate me I feel as if my freedom is being taken.  My response can be passive aggressive which harms my relationships.  I am in need of help in continuing to voice myself in a Godly manner. 

Beauty Corner:  Today I wore a vintage dress I picked up at Chelsea’s it is totally vintage 60’s with the stripes, it is Mod.  I have it on with fishnet tights and boots.  Back in the day I would have had on GO GO boots.  It is so comfortable and warm.  I love Chelsea’s.  I am on a no buy for clothes L  although shoes don’t count J  I need some colorful shoes to wear with a 70s vintage suit I picked up from Chelsea’s.   I really need to take photos and upload these looks.  After I need my new do I will.

I feel good now I got all my ranting and raving out on paper/blog. 

"Walk with me Lord, Walk with me"

Lord You are mighty and worthy Oh so worthy to be praised.  I am so grateful to KNOW You ! You rule in my life and I pray for obedience.  Lord help me through my journey providing what I need.  Allow me to recognize that all things in my life should give You the glory.

This weekend I had a marvelous time with Jayden and Dominique.  We took Jayden to Chuck E. Cheese and he had so much fun.  Each time we go he is less fearful of the Chuck E. Cheese mascot.  His desire to play and run around out weighs his fear of the big mouse.  We got home played and looked through some books.  I was watching some Whitney Houston videos on You Tube and she their were tributes playing on TV.  I was singing along with Whitney, yeah I was singing Whitney J   He looked at a video with me and saw my passion for the video and asked “who is that”, it was a black history moment J  I told him her name and he said WHITNEY he understood for that second that she was important to me.  We shared that moment together and it was real cool. It actually got the his mic and said love youuuuuuu, love youuuuuuu !  I laughed and laughed, because this is what he kept hearing me sing I will always love youuuuuuuuu !  RIP Whitney.  We will always love youuuuuuuu.  I must remember to be this passionate to teach him about Jesus J

On Sunday I kept things simple, I went to Heinen’s after church as I usually do and did my shopping.  I came home cooked a really good nutrious dinner and we ate.  Salad, steak, red potatoes with garlic butter.  Delicious !  I had been invited to dinner, and I would have spent about 30 bucks on dinner and figured that 30 bucks could go toward my groceries.

Sunday’s sermon ministered to me, I am really working to live in God’s will so the sermon blessed me so much !  I often think about as a child when I would go to church and be so not interested in the word, sleeping through it or talking to my friends through the service.  For me right now I cling onto every word listening for something to help me or how I can use it to help others.  I now want a relationship with God for myself, I don’t want to just warm the bench.  I am thirsty !  Also Ms. Ariel had a Sunday off and was able to come to church and she brought a friend.  Praise God !  The nursery will be open the first week of March and we are excited.  Jayden will be able to attend, thank you Lord for blessing our church.  I love the new lighting in the church it sets a really nice environment, very calming and peaceful.  Sis Brenda’s voice is anointed and blessed me in a special way.  “Walk with me Lord”, this was one of my mother’s favorite songs.  I thought of my mother and how much my mother loved the Lord.  The song ministered to me because I need the Lord to continue to invite the Lord and accept Him in my life through my tedious journey.

I rested the entire evening at home.  I love Sunday evenings, it is a time I can get organized for the week.  Get my mind right for Monday L 

Beauty:  Thank God for creating me to be me.  For so long I looked at other women and admired their beauty feeling like I was not pretty enough.  I now love the me God created.  I always thank God for creating me as a woman.  I love being a woman because we are beautiful beings, each and every one of us. 

Get It In

Lord You never fail me.  In my weakest moment You step in.  When I SEEK and acknowledge You as my savior and trust that You will provide, You have never failed.  I pray to continue to acknowledge Your power, Your Love and Your kindness. 

Last evening ‘Fit for the King’ was blessed to have Kathy come out as a guest speaker and then lead us in our workout.  I can’t say this enough, I love love love to watch God work to see individuals work in their gifting is awesome..  Kathy ‘Got it In’, not only through the challenging workout but through her words of encouragement and her knowledge of fitness/nutrition and healthy lifestyle.  We are all blessed and the ladies encouraged Kathy.  As a bystander passed us he said “get it in”.  I connected with him and understood what he meant.  Because we were definitely “getting it in” and it felt good.  Most of our workouts are done from video tapes, it felt good to have  an instructor there to show us the moves and to encourage us along. 

In addition to this, I witnessed my friend, my girl Ms. Nicole work in her gifting.  How she works so carefully with the production team to get things done.  Her knowledge of production is beyond anything I can image.  When you work in your gifting things run smoothly.  She used an opportunity of which she could have resolved a problem as a learning opportunity for the team. I stood in awe of her God using the team and the way they enjoy what they do. 

Last night I shared an article/blog written by Ms. Zoe.  The article shared her feelings regarding True Image.  Ms. Zoe serves as a trainer and motivator and is an excellent writer.  The article was given to the ladies to give them insight into why we True Image ladies/gents participate in the program.  When I read the article for the first time, I said WOW this is everything I think about the program, written so well.  I gave Ms. Kathy a copy and she was pleased.  Again Zoe is working in her gifting.  Working in your God given gifting blesses others and yourself. 

So ladies thank you for allowing God to use  you to help others.

Beauty:  I picked up some of the Maybelline Tattoo eye shadows (cream formula).  So far I love it, I put the taupe color on this morning and in my crease I used a brown to smooth and blend.  I will see how it wears throughout the day.  The product is getting great reviews for drug store eye  shadow, also another shout out to Wet N Wild.  I got a lip color Peachy Keen (sp), it is a sheer coral color and very moisturizing.  It was 1.99 and had a dollar off coupon attached.  Yeah !  My kind of deal.  Don’t sleep on drug store products.  But I am hearing some good things regarding Chanel has some excellent cream eye shadow with just a lil shimmer.  It seems since I have mature skin (wrinkles) cream eye shadows give a better appearance on my lid, less creasing, and the settling in wrinkles looks more natural for me.  I have never used any Chanel products so it would be different.  So we will see !  I need to go head on and do my youtube channel.  I could compare Maybelline vs Chanel.  I will see where God leads me on this.  I need to see how a makeup/beauty channel would benefit and bless others in a Godly way.  I will sit still and see how my feet are led.

Weekend Event :  Chuckie Cheese with Jayden - Yeah Yeah Yeah 

It's Working It's Working - Warning Long Blog - My Tribute to Whitney

It’s Working   It’ Working – Warning Long Blog – My Tribute to Whitney - Love You Whitney

Lord you are magnificent in all Your glory.  You are teaching me patience and I am grateful.  Teaching me to listen and to rely on You.  I trust You Lord ! 

Whitney Houston;  Diva ! First of all she is the prettiest women I have seen.  I remember watching her in the 80 and thinking WOW what beautiful features, nice figure and an awesome smile and on top of it she was chocolate.  She was like me.  She came at a time when videos were just becoming popular.  We use to have to look at album covers to see an artist, but now we had an opportunity to see artist perform.  Her style was totally totally classy.  I watch her videos over the weekend and her outfits were the bomb.  In jeans she was classy with her motor cycle jacket to her big hats and furs.  I could see the influence of the church/God in her presence.  She brought all that influence to Hollywood, it was who she was, she was doing her, nobody else.  I watched her every move.  The way she moved her dress as she sang, the way she placed her legs as she hit a note, the way her mouth moved as an instructment as melodies of love flowed out.  The way she stood on her feet with such authority and power and SANG.  My mother would say she stood flat footed and SANG and I knew she meant the woman had a voice came across with power. My mom did not listen to non gospel music, she was a strict pentocostal woman of God.  So when she showed interest in this songress this was the real deal.  I knew Whitney could sing.  Her range was unbelievable but believable, it was her gift.  She showed confidence, she exploded and was an immediate success.  I admired Whitney for coming onto the stage with clothes on, she was a singer that did not have to get naked to pull her audience along and keep them interested.  Which showed she knew she had it going on.  Her voice to this day puts chills down my spine and gets my attention.  No other woman’s voice has done that for me.  Luther does it as a male artist.  Whitney had such a passion in her voice she took command of the stage and I hung on to every word.  In a conversation I had with someone, we felt she no longer knew her worth as a commercial artist but as a woman.  Sometimes artist listen to the media and take on the negativity and get pulled into a deep dark hole. I do understand, if my life my all over the news, from my divorces, bouts with drugs, etc no telling where I would be.  I embarrass easily and would be humiliated to think that the world knows my most intimate business, financial included.  I sometimes think that stars should be bigger than me and stronger, but they are so much like me, they are human.

Praying for Bobbi Christina and Whitney’s mom and even Bobby. 

For the past month and a ½ my furnace has been acting crazy.  It worked when it choose to work.  Me being the cheapo that I am I kept calling a guy (jackleg) who was not a furnace specialist.  He was charging me 70 here 40 there and he could not get the furnace to work.  Once it switched off while he was walking up the basement steps L  I finally shared my problem with a friend.  Then things began to unfold, their suggestion did not pan out for the furnace, but in my obedience I found the phone number to my mother’s furnace man.  Praise God ! Praise God !  He came over yesterday, looked at it, called the parts shop, told me he fit it today after he picked up parts and by 10:00 a.m. my furnace is working.  Only costing me 228 bucks including part and labor.  It needed a circuit board.  My obedience was that I shared my dilemma with someone.  I am weird in asking or seeking out help.  I don’t like to bother people or seem like I can’t handle things.  As soon as I dropped my guard and humbled myself there were immediate results.  I have messing around this issue for weeks.  For one I was thinking it would cost me loads of money and I was stuck.  I was not trusting this to God.  God knows all and I needed to trust that it was something that I could manage.  Living, managing a house and being a landlord has not been the easily thing for me.  Expenses are high, water bills, repairs, etc.  So I freak out if anything happens and freeze.  My thinking went straight to the negative “I need a new furnace”, where will I get money from to repair.  This has taught me to Trust God in EVERYTHING. 

I am excited about our upcoming group tonight, I did my reading and I am prepared to participate J  Tomorrow night I will be facilitating Fit for the King as the assistance have to teach one class per month.  Kathy/Kim from True Image is our guest speaker and will be leading us in our exercise routine, boot camp style.  I have some surprises/gifts for the ladies of our group in recognition of Valentines Day. 

Beauty:  Yesterday I picked up Physician Formula (drugstore) which is the dupe for Naked pallet.  It is a really good dupe for only 9.99 and I paid 40 bucks for the Urban Decay Naked pallet.  Now it is much smaller, I will keep it in my personal makeup bag for touch ups.  I think these colors go on much better than the Naked pallet, they were smoother.  I will see how long they wear. Oh boy I forgot to put on my eye primer, so I will test tomorrow.  It wears well I will pick up a couple of the other pallets in different colors.  I also picked up a Milani bronzer completing the set of 3.  I love these bronzers as cheekbone highlighters.  The one I purchased yesterday is the darker of the 3.  I also picked up another Queen Ebony Brown bronzer that I use to contour.  It is the deepest of the Queen collection and it blends really well into the skin.  At CVS I found an eye shadow pencil brush to use in the crease of my lid.  It was in a pack of two for 5.49 really good buy and an additional 20% off. The brush does what I need it to do.  Because a Sigma brush was gonna cost me 10 plus shipping.    Now I am enjoying my Vichy line of anti aging moisturizer night and day and eye creams.  I had a 10 off coupon for Vichy and a CVS 20% off couple bring the bring down within reason.  In the package there was a large day moisturizer and then a ½ size night cream, making the deal even better.  I have several 10 dollar off coupons I may get a set of eye cream as back up.  Yesterday I did a facial with honey, apricot scrub and my Cetaphril.  It was the best !  I have a CVS 10 dollar off coupon to use on anything in the store.  I make take advantage of the buy one get one ½ on the Cetaphril cleanser.  That would be my most practical buy, or I could get another eye shadow pallet from Physician makeup.  

Strength

Lord Lord Lord !  You gave me strength to get up and move.  You know I wanted to stay still, and as I laid You put my feet on the floor and moved me.  For this I am grateful ! 

This weekend was cold.  No more cold than any other winter day, but I have gotten use to warmer temperatures this winter.  This will only help me appreciate the warmth that much better.  This weekend I was able to attend “Let the Church Say Amen”.  It was really good and had an excellent story line.  Know the Lord for yourself, no matter what’s going on around you with “church people”  have a relationship with God that is strong enough to carry you through, not depending on man to be perfect.  During the play I laughed and toward the end I cried.  Again really good play.  One character in the play had lots of drama in her life, but said that the things in her life made her the woman that she is today “stronger”.  I related and I cried.   To think that what could have broken me actually has builded me up.  God’s amazing grace !  She also reinforced to the older ladies that we should live a life  that the younger women can model.  Amen !  Oh yeah one of the funnier things to me was the church gossiper, who referred to herself as “messy” and that she was not a gossipier but a mover of information.  Because people have the right to know what’s going on.  You had to be there. 

Superwoman Productions did a wonderful job.  The young lady who produced the play shared her vision and was very transparent.  I love transparency in a person, I always have.  She talked about how much she put into the play, labor and said just last week her phone was shut off.  But she knew God would provide for her and he did and she was able to get her play out to bless us.  I appreciate her sacrifice, I sat there and remembered Tyler Perry saying in his early days he was homeless and Spike Lee using every dime and credit card he had to produce his work.  You have to believe in your dream and move when God instructs. 

After the play we went to dinner.  Excellent conversation and fellowship.  Friendship is important to me and I value each friend I have and work to be a good friend.  We went to Outback, I love Outback because I can build a good meal around my special meal plan and the food is fresh and tasty.  I have been there enough that the one server knows me and can almost remember my order.  Excellent service he really enjoys his work. We had a another young lady that was distracted she later shared with us that something had happened earlier with her family and it was troubling her.  We encouraged her and she really appreciated us not cussing her out for poor service but for encouraging her and pouring into her.  She was shocked at our reaction, this was nothing but God in us working to show her the love of God.  I remember a time I would have asked for a manager, asked for a discount, you know the drill.  She forgot my splendid after I asked her twice and did not bring us utensils.  Well I remember a recent teaching of Pastor Kevin saying we should walk about from these situations blessing people instead of leaving them feeling worse.  After hearing the word application and obedience is important.  This situation blessed all of us.

I am praying a special prayer for friendships and family and for my household.

Yesterday I asked the Lord to give me strength to attend Seed Team after church.  I struggled, because I had not brought my lunch (special meal plan) and I needed to go to the grocery store.  God allowed me to go to Seed Team and there was coffee there.  This worked for me.  I was not hungry during the meeting and had no desire for the food that was offered at Seed Team.  This was nothing but the Lord.  I did not eat lunch until 4:00 p.m.  What I love about this plan is that the foods I eat are so wholesome and eliminating sugar and flour takes my crazy cravings away.  After Seed Team I went to Heinen’s did my shopping and then got some gas.  Then I had to come home and cook it. Nothing but God.

Beauty:  Tomorrow my new vintage suit will be ready for pickup at the cleansers.  I am excited about seeing it.  It is my most expensive vintage buy I always count in the cost of cleaning and repair.  

Diary

Lord I come to You humbly, trusting You.  Lord of everything, I am amazed at Your power.  How You so willingly give it to me.  Lord I trust that You have my best interest and knowing this gives me strength.  You show Yourself magnificent to me.  I pray that all in my life are blessed and that my prayers cover them.

Blogging gives me a release, a way to get things out of my system.  Sometimes I ramble, sometimes I make complete sense.  As a teenager, I had endless diaries.  Only difference is that diary/journal came with a lock and key.  This journal/blog is open for the entire world to see if they choose.  As I youth I had SECRETS probably about boys or expressing my anger toward something me and my mother had conflict about.  As an adult I realize boys don’t make or break me, and those conflicts with my mother help mold me into the woman I am today.  Also those conflicts and her over protectiveness kept me from getting into trouble, as she would call it with boys and as a result I did not become a teen mom. 

Now don’t get me wrong I think every woman needs a Boaz but I make it a point to live my life serving God.  If it is God’s plan for me to connect, I know it is to better serve of the Kingdom of God and be a good wife in support of my man.  I am so glad I know this during this time of my life, so that I can clearly examine the heart of the man.  Looking for his spiritual strengths and his reasons of interest in me.  As a therapist we have clear cut clinical tools to assessment, diagnosis and treat.  Individuals who work with me tease me and say girl you better take the assessment tools with you to see if he’s crazy.  They are true this along with spiritual discernment will be a trip for any brother approaching me. 

Now I never write about men or relationships, so is God preparing me for something.  God only knows !  My baggage related to men and relationships as been deep, some real messed up relationships.  I had completely shut myself out of opening my heart to a relationship.  Then I witnessed first hand a man’s love for a woman and it renewed my faith.  God was working in me quietly, revealing to me that ALL men are not crazy losers.  Then conversations with my accountability partner said that if God has a husband in mind for me then that is God’s plan.  WOW !  Light bulb moment !  I was like really, I have to trust that God can make and design a man for me, sensitive to my needs and if it is of God the relationship will bless the both of us and our testimony will help others. 

I admit I do struggle with the idea of sharing my life and my time.  I enjoy everything I do, True Image, Life Groups, hair appointments, running around on Saturdays, meetings, dinner with friends, hanging out with friends and family, baby sitting Jayden, FA meetings.  Now possible could a relationship fit in this.  God can do anything, I need to stop over thinking everything and live in the moment.  I’m tripping and I don’t even have a man, Lord have mercy on me.  But it’s so real to me. 

Workout:  Last night we worked OUT !  I felt good in my body, tired but I felt good about the workout.  We got it in !  I thank God for True Image.  I then went to Fit for the King, I was tired in my body so I just mingled in, walked/job and supported the ladies through their workout :)

Weekend:  NCBF Seed Team, “Let the church say amen” with friends and then dinner.  NCBF worship service.  Get my house in order (wash clothes and clean my bedroom LOL ) I have a 12 o'clock meeting for a possible business venture, they think I will be good at it, they see something in me I am not feeling, but I will go and listen and pray about it.

Beauty:  Derablend and setting powder is the bomb diggity.  REALLY !  Don’t sleep on it !  Love it Love it !  Hands down the best coverage I have ever had.  Key is to use less to maintain a natural look and use setting powder to keep it from moving.

Obedience

Lord Jesus my savior, I want to take this day and celebrate You.  In celebrating I will continue to practice patience and obedience.  A day of thanksgiving in honor of You.  Lord I thank You for seeing something in me that I did not see myself.  I thank You for continuing to develop me in my areas of gifting.  I wait on you Lord patiently and do as I am lead.  Obedience Obedience Obedience.

Obedience, as a young adult I rebelled against my parents in a big way.  Doing things that I knew was totally against the way they had raised me.  As you see I said young adult, I didn’t dare challenge them as a teen, I waited til I was GROWN  lol   My disobedience lead me down a path of destruction.  I turned my back on my parent’s rules and most of all God’s word.  I knew what God’s word said, but I knew what I wanted to do, because I was GROWN. 

My disobedience resulted in me being in several SO WRONG relationships.  For a period of my life I did drugs, I went to bed with my morning pick me up on my night stand.  You see I leaned on drugs and WRONG relationships instead of God.  I spent over 25 years in the WORLD living as I saw fit.  That was a long time to be out of God’s will, as I reflect I know it was my mother’s prayers covering me that kept me and God’s plan for me to one day to be a living testimony. 

I have no earthy parents, no husband, just me !  I think about this sometimes and a rush of fear comes over my body.  Then within seconds I realize my Father sits high and loves me more than I could ever imagine.  This instantly comforts me.  My number one fear as I grew up even as an adult was losing my mother.  I could not image life without her here on earth.  God prepared me for the day in bits and pieces and when her day came to depart I was relieved.  Now that’s God !  God shows his power in such different like ways to me.  He shows it in such a way I know it is Him carrying me. 

I will continue to practice obedience and patience !  I know how living outside of God’s will looks and I don’t want any part of that.  I use to have a lot of what ifs; what if I had stayed connected to God at age 18 how would my life look now.  That’s the past and I can’t do anything about it but learn from it and move on.  I am thankful I know God for who He is right now. 

Tonight is Fit for the King, my continued prayer for the group is that each and every one is blessed in a special way.  That they leave feeling a sense of hope and a deeper knowledge of God’s presence in their life.  I pray that they are successful and as a result are motivated to continue their journey of a healthier lifestyle.  I pray that they see God’s reflection in themselves and know that God made them and created them unique from anyone else.  That they seek out their gifting and use it to glorify God.  I pray for leadership as we lead by example, continue to allow us to desire a healthy lifestyle.  Build our knowledge and creativity to keep the class interesting.  Bless our coach as she is a wonderful example of leadership and a wealth of knowledge and she pushes and encourages us to do our best job possible.  Bless her in her journey. 

My FA sponsor has given me permission to have rice/potatoes or yam.  YES Lord !  I am pleased about this.  I have to weigh in tomorrow morning then next Friday, if I gain then I will be taken off, but if I lose or maintain I can continue.  This is encouraging, so now my meals will consist of protein; protein, salad, hot veggie, and potatoes/rice/yam.  This is basically I balanced meal.  I am happy and so grateful. 

Praying a special prayer for friends and family.  Lord You know their needs provide in a special way.  Show your hand of favor, grace and mercy.  Thank You Lord !

Beauty:  I pray that all women embrace who they are and live a life of purpose.  This is more beautiful than any MAC, NARS, Philosophy, Wet N Wild, Milani, Sephora, Ulta, Dermablend that temporary enhances our beauty.  Let us not lean totally on cosmetics but work on our inner beauty. 

I’m getting it in at True Image tonight !  Yeah 

Patience

Lord God !  King of Kings ! Ruler of all Nations !  I hold you in awe.  Your power exceeds anything that my human self can envision.  You know me, You created me and love me. You are my   You Lord You ! 

Yesterday, I did something I would have only dreamed about doing this time a year ago.  God is working in and through me to help me along my journey.  I am so grateful. Whatever develops from it I will be content with, I am just happy that I am in a place to even be considered.  God is allowing me to see my opportunities and I pray that I proceed in a Godly manner.

I will now sit still, and wait for the Lord to direct my path.  Waiting with patience knowing that God is continuing to work in me giving me what I need.  I do see that when God blesses not only I am blessed but he blesses others.  It is not all about me, myself and I.  God sees the total big picture. I am so glad that I am in a place where He can use me. 

Tonight is prayer service and Life Group.  I am going with great expectations. 

We have prepared for tomorrow’s night Fit for the King.  We will be helping the ladies to learn how to read food labels and following up for feedback on Dr. Karen’s session.  We will dig in the word and allow God to speak to us.

Beauty: I got a couple of my products yesterday.  Dermablend setting powder to use over coverage cream.  Still waiting on coverage cream.  I am please with the powder, which has to be used with their products, it gives the maximum holding.  My hair is still a mess, I have reached out for an appointment.  WOW

Lord bless my family and allow things to work out today.

Bad Hair, Bad Attitude !!

Thank You Lord for blessing me and keeping peace in my heart.  Keep me motivated to live in Your will. 

For the past few days I have been down in the dumps.  Not my usually go go go !  I didn’t come to service on Sunday as I was tired.  Yes tired ! I felt like lying down and resting, I did do some organizing around the house and cooked dinner.  I am not even excited about blogging today; and this is ok.  I had a few disappointments last week so it threw me for a loop.  I also have to refer to the first book of James “Count it all Joy”.  Because although I had disappointments I had A LOT  to be grateful.  But because things didn’t roll out the way I had wished, I chose to be down.  And on top of it all my hair is like not working for me J  I know there are those that understand.  With God’s love I am gonna come from up under this rock.  I like the me that is full of energy, love and patience.  I want that me back. 

I called Whole Food this morning to set up a tour for our Life Group, some of the ladies have not been and it would be a good informational outing.  We plan to do a exercise this week to help them learn how to read labels.  I pray that they will have someone available on a Thursday night to do the tour.

Last night I spent some time with Jayden, I hadn’t seen him for a few days.  I heard them pull up so I went to the door to greet him.  It was dark and he learn my voice and he said in a loud excited voice “GRAND MA” boy did not make my day.  When he hit the top of the step he reached for me and gave me a big hug.  So nice………………………  We did a puzzle together and read a book, in the book was a slice of watermelon, he yelled Pizza, it was cut in the shape of a piece of watermelon.  He saw a picture of a bunch of banana and he began to look in my room where I keep bananas.  I know I know……. But he’s granny’s lil man……………….

Weekend: This weekend I plan to have my hair cut and styled at some point.  I will be attending "Let the Church Say Amen !"

Beauty:  I have ordered a couple new products from Amazon.  Maybelline Eye definer, I could not find medium brown in the drugstores, always sold out.  I actually got it cheaper on amazon and with free shipping.  I also ordered a book “good carb, bad carb” 4.99 excellent book, very resourceful nutritional info.  I will be sharing some of the info with the ladies in Fit for the King.  I ordered some Dermablend products and some LaRoche products, I checked my account and 2 of the items arrived today. 

Last Saturday we went thrifting for trendy and vintage clothing.  Well I was able to pick up two skirts from Thrifique (Jewish’s Women’s Council) for 5 bucks each.  I got a pair of brown sling backs for 12 bucks from Clothes Mentor and a really cute two piece outfit from Chelsea.  Chelsea never lets me down.  The suit is a neutral/oatmeal color, the jacket has a nice cut, it is from the 70s, store owner said it reminds her of Mad Men, and it does.  I put it in the cleanser this morning to be cleaned and to have the zipper fixed.  Zipper repair was 12 dollars.  Not too bad for zipper replacement.  She reduced the price from 40 to 30.  Yeah 40 at Chelsea so you know it’s cute J  Now I have to style it, since the color is neutral I can wear, brown, eggplant, coral, blue, whatever.  I will begin to explore my accessories.  I need to wear some funky shoes to enhance the vintageness of the suit.  

Step Out the Way

Step Out the Way

Lord I want to thank You for blessing our Life Group in such a special way.  You blessed every woman present.  I am grateful; please continue to use us to bless others. 

I see a difference in myself.  I have stepped aside allowing God to work his divine purpose in my life.  I am surprised at some of the things that come out of my mouth.  I know it has to be God.  It’s like I like myself now J  God is able to better use me at my current place of mind.  My mind is focused on His will and doing what pleasing Him.  Sure I fall short everyday, but I don’t beat myself up, I pray and keep things moving in a Godly, positive manner.  There are storms all around me, I am trusting God’s direction and resources. 

Each lady in our life group was able to report large and small successes, realizing it is God who gives them the strength and courage in this journey.  Dr. Karen spoke to our group last night and she had a wealth of knowledge.  What I found fascinating was the diet she gives her clients and uses herself  “no sugar, no flour” it resembles FA very closely.  She reported the success over the plan even over vegan lifestyle that is for weight loss.  She successes if you are considering plant base lifestyle and want lose to first do “protein lifestyle, no sugar no flour” first to lose then after losing switch to plant base.  Everyone was surprised that weight is lost quicker from a lifestyle of protein, no sugar and no flour.  She even spoke about the addictive qualities of sugar and flour.  I know this but it was good to hear a physician confirm it.  I felt encouraged.  It felt good for me who often struggles to know that this plan is the ultimate in weight loss.   What she didn’t say is that with this plan you lose without exercise, I chose to exercise, simply because I need and want a good challenge to my body, it makes me feel good and strong. 

And I also love the ladies and gentlemen of True Image they are my sisters in Christ and for the non believers in the room we have a chance to show God’s love.

So this information just made my night.  Dr. Karen is very resourceful and so willing to reach out.  Her discussion was so good, we ran out of time.  She had planned to lead us in Zumba, but instead she taught us a line dance.  We jammed, she wanted to demonstrate to some of the ladies who have difficulties exercising that dance is a form of movement.  We prayed blessing for Dr. Karen and truly grateful to have her in our church family.

Tonight I have dinner with one of my most exciting and energetic friends.  We use to walk together and she is a fitness guru in her own rights.  She is planning a dinner “no sugar no flour”.  Tomorrow fun with the ladies shopping and having girly fun.  I am so glad I am a girl J  Shopping, talking, laughing and of course eating.

I thank God for placing me in Fit for the King during this season, I stand in awe of God.

Exercise:  Ohhhhhh  Yes !  One of my best big ticket investments yet.  I rode my treadmill this morning at 5:30 a.m.  YEAH 5:30 a.m.   Day 2 !  2.6 miles, 301 calories, 47 minutes.  Yeah Yeah Yeah   I almost got on the floor to do some crunches and do some arm lifts.  I said almost J  I will begin to incorporate at least 10 to 15 minutes on core; sit ups, planks (I love planks), and using my hand weights to tone my beautifully flabby arms.  Now my BEHIND was sore after the treadmill, I was getting out of my car to go into Heinen’s this morning and CHILD CHILD CHILD, I had to get myself together.  After a few steps I was cool.  I really need to stretch I know better L 

Beauty Tip:  Moisturize under eyes nightly.  DO IT, Yeah !  Invest in a night cream and use it.  I am speaking from my own experience.  I wish I had, now I am J  Basically invest in a decent moisturizer with SPF and a toner.  Take care of that beautiful skin to enrich your look.  It is time consuming but get a routine and stick to it.  Learn about your skin, if it oily, dry, combination, open pores, whatever, get products that treat not only cover.  The products that treat cost slightly more but well worth it.  La Roche (sp) makes products that treat.  I recently began to use I will discuss the effects later.  But I must say even using Roc eye cream my eyes are less dark after only 3 weeks.  Roc products treat also and can be found in the drug store.

OK this is too long, I’M OUT 

Success Night

Lord in this day I am at peace with the things that are going on in my life.  I am working in and around it.  I am being resourceful with what You have given me.  Believe me I am grateful and not complaining.  Lord I thank You !  I am asking You Lord to give us a wonderfully blessed evening at Life Group. 

Tonight is Weigh in-Success Night during Fit for the King.  I am praying that each and every one of  us is blessed, encouraged and motivated to move forward in their journey.  Prior to Fit for the King, I will have my lil beLord in this day I am at peace with the things that are going on in my life.  I am working in and around it.  I am being resourceful with what You have given me.  Believe me I am grateful and not complaining.  Lord I thank You !  I am asking You Lord to give us a wonderfully blessed evening at Life Group. 

Tonight is Weigh in-Success Night during Fit for the King.  I am praying that each and every one of  us is blessed, encouraged and motivated to move forward in their journey.  Prior to Fit for the King, I will have my lil behind at True Image working it OUT. 

Ohhhh yeahhhhhhhhhh  !  This morning I worked out on my new treadmill.  Excellent piece of machinery J  I used the fan and the MP3 player.  I listened to the Book of James and some of 1^st Peter.  Awesome experience, simple awesome.  I did 45 minutes, burned 354 calories and walked 2.51 miles.  I walked an average of 3.5 mile with 7 incline.  Felt so good, my buns were burning afterwards.  I am training for the ½ Rite Aid Marathon on May 20^th.  Building up my endurance on the treadmill will help me as I have only ever walked up to 5 miles at a time.  Doing 13 miles will be a challenge.  I will need to talk to others and do research to see what other things; food, protein etc that I need to incorporate to make this happen.

It’s about time I talk about work, and my workload.  I have been handling what comes before me with patience.  I am focusing on my work with a different mindset.  Sort of like this is what they are paying me for attitude J  and that the more they ask me the more they should realize my worth.  So I am praying that I continue with this positive mindset.  Only God would work this out in me.

DISAPPOINTMENT

1^st Book of James:  Count it all Joy -  Forgive me Lord for any sins that I may have.  Lord you bless me in so many ways, I realize that when I am disappointment that things don’t turn out as I could have it, it is Your will, your divine purpose for me on this earth which is what I must honor and respect.  Guide me through this disappointment and fill me with Joy and Peace.  I am trusting You because You have rescued me from much much worse.  To God be the glory !!!!  Lord allow me to be a good servant as I go out to do your bidding.  Amen !! 

Well I weighed in today, I have not weighed in since January 1^st.  I have maintained my weight and lost about ½ lb.  Praise Him !  I did not expect to see large numbers drop so I was pleased.  For March 1^st I have set a goal of 6 lb loss.  My eating has been good no big bingeing, well maybe one, but I don’t want to think about it J J  I feel at peace with my food.  Now I do need to step up my game on the exercise tip, my treadmill is being delivered today at 4:30 p.m.  EXCITED EXCITED EXCITED  !!!!!

My realistic goal is to use it 5 out of  7 days per week.  I plan to attend True Image 2 to 3 xs per week.  Didn’t get to do True Image last night my dental appointment ran way over L  This is when my treadmill will be important.  When life throws the unexpectant; I can work it out on the treadmill.  I do workout with Fit for the King once a week for 30 minutes too.

My dental appointment was a big disappointment, I am taking the dentist advice into great consideration as he is the expert.  I had another opinion last year that said I was not a candidate for braces, and this dentist says I am, but I need lots and lots of work prior to this.  Which means lots of money.  I have an appointment with another dentist for another opinion on the 24^th.  I will wait and see what this dentist recommends and then make an informed decision. 

Yesterday I had a good long conversation with Monica my cuz, I love that gurl !  She knows me very well and challenges me.  She tickles me because it is as if she has eyes right here in Cleveland.  I need to have a gurl talk with her, she has good Godly info and I am hope my Godly wisdom blesses her in return.  I am so glad she knows and loves the Lord, so when we talk we are on the same page. 

Beauty:  Shea Butter and Coconut oil.  These are my go to body moisturizer.  In the winter my skin is so dry.  I also use Dove deep moisturizing body wash.  Sis Takeema hipped me to this body wash for winter.  It is the business.  Really, within two uses my skin was together. 

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