Diary

Lord I come to You humbly, trusting You.  Lord of everything, I am amazed at Your power.  How You so willingly give it to me.  Lord I trust that You have my best interest and knowing this gives me strength.  You show Yourself magnificent to me.  I pray that all in my life are blessed and that my prayers cover them.

Blogging gives me a release, a way to get things out of my system.  Sometimes I ramble, sometimes I make complete sense.  As a teenager, I had endless diaries.  Only difference is that diary/journal came with a lock and key.  This journal/blog is open for the entire world to see if they choose.  As I youth I had SECRETS probably about boys or expressing my anger toward something me and my mother had conflict about.  As an adult I realize boys don’t make or break me, and those conflicts with my mother help mold me into the woman I am today.  Also those conflicts and her over protectiveness kept me from getting into trouble, as she would call it with boys and as a result I did not become a teen mom. 

Now don’t get me wrong I think every woman needs a Boaz but I make it a point to live my life serving God.  If it is God’s plan for me to connect, I know it is to better serve of the Kingdom of God and be a good wife in support of my man.  I am so glad I know this during this time of my life, so that I can clearly examine the heart of the man.  Looking for his spiritual strengths and his reasons of interest in me.  As a therapist we have clear cut clinical tools to assessment, diagnosis and treat.  Individuals who work with me tease me and say girl you better take the assessment tools with you to see if he’s crazy.  They are true this along with spiritual discernment will be a trip for any brother approaching me. 

Now I never write about men or relationships, so is God preparing me for something.  God only knows !  My baggage related to men and relationships as been deep, some real messed up relationships.  I had completely shut myself out of opening my heart to a relationship.  Then I witnessed first hand a man’s love for a woman and it renewed my faith.  God was working in me quietly, revealing to me that ALL men are not crazy losers.  Then conversations with my accountability partner said that if God has a husband in mind for me then that is God’s plan.  WOW !  Light bulb moment !  I was like really, I have to trust that God can make and design a man for me, sensitive to my needs and if it is of God the relationship will bless the both of us and our testimony will help others. 

I admit I do struggle with the idea of sharing my life and my time.  I enjoy everything I do, True Image, Life Groups, hair appointments, running around on Saturdays, meetings, dinner with friends, hanging out with friends and family, baby sitting Jayden, FA meetings.  Now possible could a relationship fit in this.  God can do anything, I need to stop over thinking everything and live in the moment.  I’m tripping and I don’t even have a man, Lord have mercy on me.  But it’s so real to me. 

Workout:  Last night we worked OUT !  I felt good in my body, tired but I felt good about the workout.  We got it in !  I thank God for True Image.  I then went to Fit for the King, I was tired in my body so I just mingled in, walked/job and supported the ladies through their workout :)

Weekend:  NCBF Seed Team, “Let the church say amen” with friends and then dinner.  NCBF worship service.  Get my house in order (wash clothes and clean my bedroom LOL ) I have a 12 o'clock meeting for a possible business venture, they think I will be good at it, they see something in me I am not feeling, but I will go and listen and pray about it.

Beauty:  Derablend and setting powder is the bomb diggity.  REALLY !  Don’t sleep on it !  Love it Love it !  Hands down the best coverage I have ever had.  Key is to use less to maintain a natural look and use setting powder to keep it from moving.