Fat Tuesday – RANT/RAVE
Lord thank You for continuing to bless my spirit. I feel brand new today; I know it is Your
mercy. You abide in me and because of
this I feel loved. Lord I love You; I
give You the glory in everything I do.
Rant/Rave - Today is another day that the Lord has blessed
me. Yes I feel blessed and I am curious
how He will use me today. I want to keep
my focus on living a life that glorifies God.
I have to practice seeing how God would approve the things that I
do. Yesterday I got a text from someone
dear to me, making a manipulative demand.
I saw right through what they were trying to do. My response to their demand was “sorry I can’t
do that” without saying anything more.
Now that was God, a year ago I would have GONE OFF, telling this
individual what I really thought of their remark. My response would have been unloving and harsh;
this is the Vanessa that is ugly on the inside.
My words would have harmed our relationship for life; I would have cut
her up with my words. They got the
message and later in the day we had a good casual conversation, which felt good
to me. You see it is the simple day to
day things that I am allowing God to do in my life. My prayer is that they come to the
realization that manipulation looks ugly and does not work. In the past if I hadn’t cut you up with words
I would have over explained why I couldn’t do what you wanted. Feeling the need to be liked. I know now that manipulation is not of God
and I do not have to explain myself. I know if you disapprove of me or don’t like
my actions, God loves me and approves my Godly response. I say this all to the glory of God. In my actions I also showed God that I love
Him more than any earthly thing. I know
man can disappoint and this is cool, but God never fails. We all fall short.
Rant - This morning on my drive to work I got a call from
another person trying to manipulate me and volunteer me into doing
something. My thing is if you are lead
by God to do something, You go ahead and do it.
Don’t volunteer my name. Present
the situation to me and allow me and allow me to volunteer myself. Not that I don’t want to help, but I cannot
do everything for everybody, not to prove to someone that I am a
Christian. January 1, 2011 I said to myself, if I really am not lead
by God to do something, I don’t do it. I
have never liked to be controlled, I have been in controlled relationships and
I did not do well. I guess what I am
trying to say is love me for me. Don’t judge me based on what you can or cannot
get me to do. I remember my mother you always
say when she felt she was being controlled, “I am ____ years old and my mama
and daddy dead”. I know what she
meant. I am Olivia’s daughter. DO NOT tell me what to do, in a sly manipulative
manner. I feel like a real person now,
that I am working to live in God’s will.
I see everything so differently. God
must be working on me in this area.
When people try to control and manipulate me I feel as if my
freedom is being taken. My response can
be passive aggressive which harms my relationships. I am in need of help in continuing to voice
myself in a Godly manner.
Beauty Corner: Today I wore a vintage dress I picked up at Chelsea Chelsea Chelsea
I feel good now I got all my ranting and raving out on
paper/blog.
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