FRIENDS ! How many of us have them ! FRIENDS !

Who Wears This ?  

I am asking to be forgiven of any sins that I may have committed.  I want to be able to hear from You clearly and to be heard.  Lord I humbly come before You today giving You the glory and honor for who You are.  I am thirsting to be more like You.  I want my life to be a life of worship, keeping my focus on You.  Thank You Lord for blessing me with family and friends.  You provide in such a magnificent way. 

I was off yesterday and had an appointment, ran some errands and elevated my foot.  In doing all these things I was careful to give God the praise.  My foot is fractured but it could definitely be worse.  I am grateful to have friends and family that check in on me.  NCBF is awesome, I got a call from the Care Ministry, I was pleased to know that the people of God care, that we pray for one another and support one another.  My church family is family.  At times that have been closer than family. 

Yesterday I did some reading of scripture in my quiet time.  To connect with God in this manner is awesome.  As I read I have to some times go back and reread to really take the word in with understanding.  God reveals His word to me so that I can understand.  I ask for wisdom in the Word and He provides.  I have a friend that loves the Lord but in bad times she questions the reality of God, His existence and why He doesn’t rush in to save her from her drama.  She wants to challenge my walk with the Lord it is as if she resents that I am at Peace with the Lord.  She knows my story and knows my drama and it is as if she wants me to be saying I don’t have faith in the Lord.  I have to real careful because she is not involved in a church and her relationship with God is not good.  Although I do understand because I have been disappointed in God.  She wants to challenge me on things in the Bible that REALLY…….  I direct her to God’s love and I try to explain to her that God can use us in our brokenness, that I grew through my brokenness.  She is going through a challenging time and is relying on alcohol and man instead of seeking the true and living God.  She is right where the enemy wants her.  I am praying that she regain her faith in the Lord and seek Him.

Yesterday I was invited to a birthday dinner for me.  I was grateful and feel honored.  I am always grateful to God for providing me with the best friends on earth.  We need relationships and I work to develop good relationships with my buddies.  I look forward to fellowshipping we have lots of laughs.  Godly relationships are so different from other friendships, as we pour into one another and attempt to build one another up.  Relating this to Olivia, my mama, she was the best of friend to her friends.  I watched her unselfishly listen and support her besties.  She was a caring person with a big heart.  WOW !  Sometimes I find myself saying and doing things she did.  One of my friends told me you are just like your mama.  I was pleased.  She lives in my memory and in my actions towards others.  She worked to be Christ like. 

Beauty:  I am not feeling this foot right now.  But it is getting better.  I can’t even get a pedicure right now because it is swollen and sore.  My beauty is not on hold J  I am having to modify things and it’s not cute.  If you know me I like cute.  I embrace cute !  I support cute !  This blue shoe is not cute !  Lord help me ! 

I know there are far worse things, but right now, right here, this is real.

ONLY GOD

Birthday Fun for Granny

Lord forgive me of any sins that I may have committed.  I want to come to You with a clean heart, and I want to have a heart of thanksgiving.  I want to thank You right now for dying on the cross of Calvary for my sins.  It was such an unselfish act of love.  Lord You deserve all the honor and the glory.  It is You who loves so unconditionally.  Lord You show Your love in such powerful and yet gentle ways.  You deserve to be celebrated.  Lord I ask You as Your daughter for a healing, knowing that You can do it.  Lord I am thanking You for everything, big and small.  I am thanking You in advance for the plan you have on my life.

Yesterday I celebrated my birthday giving thanks to God for creating me, and loving me.

I took yesterday to celebrate with those around me.  Nothing elaborate but just being in fellowship with one another.  Communicating by text, calls, FB whatever means to receive well wishes.  My coworkers are something else.  We had office party, listening to R Kelly birthday song and have birthday cake.  It was so thoughtful.  Jayden and I went to the park and I watched him play until he got tired.  Well it was really until I got tired J  I took careful thought in what I did yesterday.  I choose to spend time just playing !  I went back to being that lil girl again.  The lil girl who laughed had no thoughts of worries or problems.  It was sooooooooooooo much fun.   I was limited with the crunch and boot, but God allowed me to play and have fun on the playground with my grandson.

Nique, Jayden and I and Nique’s boyfriend, Keith went to dinner.  It was a good time being with the family and just kicking back, laughing and having fun together.  The waitress brought a fancy lil birthday desert to the table and Jayden said BIRTHDAY !  He is a mess !  I said yeah it is granny’s birthday and he crossed his arms and said no MY BIRTHDAY.  It was funny, you had to be there.  Nique brought me a photo of me and her framed.  It is the most precious thing I have ever received.  I brought to work to put on my desk because most of my day is spent here.  Just a sweet gift from the heart.

I have caught up on my workload since being out last week for 3 days.  What a stack I had to do.  I know it was ONLY God that got me through that pile.  Doing the work didn’t even stress me out.  Well a lil bit.  I was more stressed over seeing the actual pile than doing the work.  I had to remember it is my work, no one knows my work better than I.  So I knew how I had to attack the stack.  Hobbling around on crutches was cool, it all worked out for the good. 

ONLY GOD can bless in this way !

Beauty:  I was able to coordinate this BLUE soft boot with a blue long skirt I got while vintage shopping this winter.  It is perfect.  As I was putting it on, I remember when I almost didn’t get it and felt so good that I had.  It is simple, but simplicity is what I need. 

I have been working with my bronzer and highlighters to achieve a natural looking glow while sculpting the face.  I am pleased with the outcome. Not overly done just a healthy look.  I did pick up a MAC cream eyeliner it is darker and richer than the Maybelline.  I hate when I think I got a good dupe for a MAC products only to find MAC product gives the best performance.  I also got the MAC brow pencil; it is nice, real nice.   

GO GO GO GO It’s Your Birthday Go Go

Thank You Lord for waking me up this morning with my mind on YOU !  I am so grateful to see another day yet another year.  Thank You for blessing me this day.  Lord I am so grateful for life the life You and only You could do.  My creator, my provider my EVERYTHING.   Thank You I sincerely mean it, Thank You J

Today I woke up a little groggy; I took some P.M. Motrin to help with the soreness during the night.  But when my head cleared the first thing on my mind was the Lord and that I was here.  Then I realized it’s my birthday !  I was pleasantly happy !  Not because of the fan fare but because of my life itself.  That I am here to see this day.  I was slow moving getting up, but once I got up it’s been a day of celebration.  Me and office mates have been doing some R Kelly birthday celebrating.  I can’t get up and dance but I am chair ball rooming LOL  I have been having a good day today.  Many texts, FB and calls.  My daughter called me last night at 12:34 a.m., scared me to death, I saw her number and realized the time and thought what’s wrong.  Forgetting that it was my birthday !  It was real nice to be woke up (from my Motrin P.M.) to receive her love. 

Jayden, Nique and I plan to do dinner this evening.  Where we don’t know.  It will be fun I am sure.  Jayden has the concept of birthday, but he is in the MY phase.  So I am not sure if he will allow it to me MY birthday instead of his.  My ex husband called me, bless his heart J  and wished me a happy birthday.  He means well, it just didn’t work J  He told me he gave Nique something to give me.  Very nice. 

I love this day, I am working but it is cool. I am blessed to have this job.  I was out 3 days last week so it was only right that I come in today.  Now this is the Lord working and convicting me and my parent’s strong work ethic.  Cause ya’ll ……………….. RIGHT !

Happy Birthday !!!!! We are going to Meinches for afternoon break, no sugar yogurt with nuts, yummy !

Beauty:  Have you ever had to coordinate an entire look based on a soft blue boot.  Well it is CRAZY.  I probably should not be concerning myself with trying to be coordinated, but I like to be a bit matchy matchy.  I guess I could use this opportunity to Color Block J 

Yesterday I received a deep Terra Bronzer it has really nice color pay off.  The bronzer is deep brown with red undertones.  Also I got NARS liquid illuminizer.  It is beautiful.  I have a few Nars blushes, but this is a wonderful highlighter.  I am all about highlighting, contouring and bronzing.  Important elements in sculpting the face.

OHhhhhhhhhhh got to go Birthday Cake coming in the door………………………. 

I'm Standing, " I'm Good "

Lord You never leave me !  Your power keeps me standing, day after day !  To You I give ALL the honor and the glory in my life.  Lord You know me better than I know myself.  You know every hair on my head.  You created me and I am grateful.  Allow me to live in Your will. I want to be used by You Lord as your humble servant.  Lord keep me humble and usable, keep me available to be used by You. 

Since my last blog, things have been different in a different way.  I have been slowed down drastically.  My priorities have been rearranged by God.  On Tuesday evening I fractured my foot while power walking.  I hit the ground before I even knew I was falling.  Many thoughts ran through my mind as I sat there, first being “Lord what happened”  Passer byers asked are you are alright, I told them I didn’t know.  My walking partner was as shocked as I was.  A gentleman helped me to my feet and I continued my journey which was about another mile.  At that time I did not know it was broken, I was thinking it was sprung. 

It was broken, the Lord has put me in a place where I have to slow down.  I have had an opportunity to think about what it is He wants me to do.  Because as much as I write about living in God’s will.  My will comes through.  On the day I fell I was lead to do something else which was and should be a priority to me.  He placed it in my heart to pick up my grandson/Jayden and spend that evening with him.  I was upset because his mother had not called me the day before as I have asked her to do when she needs a sitter, and when she contacted me minutes before my walk, I in my own stuff said “NO”.  How dare she not follow my directions.  I had already done my boot camp workout so why did I need to walk.  Obsessing !  I talked to a sister after church that broke it down and said “YOU GOOD” she meant you look good and it’s ok to slow it down.  I accepted it !  My hair stylist told me “You doing too much” I laughed and agreed.  So now that the obsessing workouts have been removed I can see God and His plan more clearly.  My idol has been removed.  I will be able to resume my workouts but I didn’t to know there are other important elements of my life and that I am GOOD. 

I have been busy in various fellowships, workshops, baby showers since my fall.  I participated in Zoe’s gonegirlgo seminar on Saturday and was enrichly blessed.  It exceeded my expectations.  The networking was phenomenal to be able to share your dreams with other driven women is awesome.  The energy in the room was amazing.  It is the sort of thing in which you had to be there to understand the full impact.  It was the type of thing where as God had us there.  On Friday night I went to a RELATIONSHIP service at another church.  They are offered every other Friday, I suggest them to anybody thirsty for the word as it pertains to marriage and singleness.  He taught from the book of Romans and John, similar to Pastor James last two teachings.  Only different is it some in smaller group and we were able to interact at the end and dialog.  AWESOME AWESOME !! 

I visited my grandson at his new apartment.  He calls it “My House”.  He is learning things really nicely. We played, ate dinner, and then did some You Tubing, he loves You Tube as I do.  He says Elmo and takes out my tablet and I know what he’s talking about.  He calls my house “grandma house”.  I know it is simple stuff but it amazes me how he knows things.  As I was leaving he barricaded the door and said “My grandma”.  He is something else. 

Yesterday I learned something about a person that I care about.  I was initially shocked and in disbelief.  I prayed over the info and attempted to walk in her shoes.  Walking in another person shoes helps me to eliminate any prejudices.  It keeps it real for me and helps me to help them.  Lord bless her in this situation and allow her to have the needed support. 

Beauty:  Man oh Man !  Have you ever tried to dress and put together an outfit together wear a soft (ugly shoe).  I gave it some thought and I pulled it off for my Sunday Look of the Day.  I am so use to heels, I feel heels make the outfit and give me more confidence in my look.  I am so glad I had listened well during the Relationship service as the minister talked about knowing our real beauty.  It helped a lot.  God is a provider.    

Celebrate

Lord I want to celebrate your resurrection.  I am so grateful for Your sacrifice of love toward us Lord.  Lord I know I can be ungrateful in my actions, I know I have disappointed you many times.  Lord you died that I may be forgiven that I may be freed from sin.  Lord I thank you and want to celebrate You.

I thank God for my FA sponsor who is pouring into me giving me Godly counsel.  I want to thank You Lord for surrounding me with woman of God with like minds that love You. 

Yesterday I got it in.  I did a True Image workout and used muscles I had not used in a long time or never ever used.  I feel it today, and I stood to get out of my car, WOW I had to get it together.  The trainer is focusing on abs, inner thighs and butts.  His routine is challenging me to do things I wouldn’t do on my own.  Loving it !  Then yeah Then me and Ms. Lori took on Euclid Creek.  We walked it, it was getting dark so we did 4 miles.  It was so nice to be out in the breeze.  We are preparing for the Rite Aide ½ marathon on May 24.  We are building up to do 10 miles at Euclid Creek; doing the Creek twice.  Crazy LOL !   We even laugh at ourselves.   But we are up for the challenge of it.  I am praying the weather cooperates so I can walk again this evening after True Image.

This Friday is the Friday for the relationship workshop.  I am excited to be poured into as a single.  We listened to his CD two Friday’s ago as he had cancelled the workshop.  I am pumped, super pumped.  Again I praise God for him providing for me in areas that need strengthen. 

Saturday I plan to attend Zoe Brown’s workshop gogirlgone which is the launch of her dream.  I also have dreams and she has the gift of motivating and helping others put their dreams in action.  I pray that the workshop blesses her in her journey.  She is a dynamic woman of God with an encouraging spirit.  My first recognition of her was when she was the leader for a Life Group God’s Beauty Shop.  It was my first NCBF Life Groups.  I was blown away by the way she delivered God’s word and served us as women seeking God’s love and giving us an understanding of the unique beauty God gave each individual woman.  She is beautiful on the inside and out.  She works to help women on a daily and is an inspiration.  Her workouts are so encouraging and on point.  Her daughter is also beautiful, she is  a stylist and yesterday I read an article about her work and was encouraged (y’all know I love fashion) at how she recognizes God in her career. 

Today I have loads of work to produce but I will get it done.  God gives me the strength to push through it and get it done.  I am grateful for my employment and don’t take it for granted.  For lent I gave up talking about folks at work.  I have done pretty good.  My coworkers said it is ok to vent.  But I know my venting can become not God like at times, so I am putting it to rest.  I thank God for revealing this to me as an area that I need to target.  I want to be a positive team member and adapt to change as our leaders work to keep us serving children and families.  Thank You Jesus.

I am working to organize a spa day for me and my girls.  I have got prices for a spa but will continue to do research on two others.  I know we will have fun, these are ladies that I love and love to hang out with.  We usually shop together but spa day would be so relaxing and pampering.  Beside that my feet are hit up I need like a Sha na na (Martin) pedicure, and I got the nerves to have on cut outs today.  I am sure we will hit a store or two afterward LOL  Again I thank God for my relationships with my friends.  We are cool and understanding of one another. 

Beauty:  Exercise it is good for the mind, spirit and body.

So I have been doing various skin treatments with my facial products.  I am liking the results and have not gotten any breakouts.  I have been using my sun screen when I walk and have not gotten any breakouts.  I have heard horror stories of people getting breakouts from sun protectors.  The one I have been using has some natural ingredients that help guard against breakouts.  I do put a primer on first then the sunscreen so something is working. 

                                                     

I have been working more with bronzers and highlighting as the summer is coming.  I am like the skin finish from Mac and Princess from Wet N Wild.  I use various highlighters depending on my mood.  I do enjoy cream highlighters and put a lil in my foundation too.  I find that mature skin needs to be exfoliated, moisturized and then highlighted as give a dewy moisturized appearance.  It starts with taking care of skin properly.  Oh yeah I am still loving Retinol (prize possession).  

Back at the Creek

  

Lord I am grateful for the doors You open for me.  For the path that You are leading me.  I am so very grateful for your mercy.  You keep me, protect me, and provide for me.  Again I am so thankful.  You pour into me spiritual and keep my head looking up.  I know listen for Your direction.  At times it is difficult to be obedient but I strive and thirst for You.  So in those times I come to realize You know best for ME.  You are my creator the creator of ALL so in knowing this I know You have my life in Your hands and Lord I am striving to give You my HEART.  I pray in patience knowing that patience brings understanding.  Most of all I want to thank You for dying on the cross.  Thank You Thank You  AMEN

This weekend was a blast, I had fun doing some things I enjoy.  Hanging out and enjoying life.  The simple things in life.  I was at peace with my life and got some things accomplished.  I did get to attend Seed Team on Sunday as I slept in on Saturday.  It felt good not to have to get up moving.  I was able to do some cleaning around the house and run some errands.

Sunday Sermon was awesome.  I came with anticipation ready to receive the word.  As I sat there I so wanted others that I know to receive the word.  I will be picking up the CD to share, it is an awesome tool to help us all.  Seed Team was good, the breakout session was informative and outlined the direction of Life Group for the upcoming year/s. 

Nique and I had dinner it was so good, we usually hang out on Sunday.  My dinner plans needed to be changed, which was ok as I had already cooked just in case.  My home cooked food to me is so much better than restaurant food now that I cook regularly.  I am cooking mustard and turnips, YES.  I love it.  Nique and I talked about some life stuff, family stuff, Godly word and just hung out.  I continue to keep her in prayer.  God protect and bless her.  I remember my mother praying for me ALL the time.  I now understand even when your children are grown and out of the home you have to keep them covered. 

I did get to walk with a sis at Euclid Creek from True Image on Saturday.  It was my first time out this season, it was beautiful and walking with her was good fellowship.  We talked so much the time blew past.  I am encouraging anyone who wants to walk to come it is so thereauptic, relaxing and peaceful.  We had planned to walk Sunday put it was storming.  I will do True Image this evening and Lord willing walk this evening at the Creek.  

Forgiving Me

Lord thank You for getting me through this week, without hurt, harm or danger.  Thank You for allowing me to get up every morning with my mind on You.  Grateful that You gave me strength to do my day to day in a manner that pleased You. I know I fell short sometimes so I ask for forgiveness.  Amen

I continue to prepare myself to offer my inventory next week.  I expect it to be a cleansing experience and one of forgiveness.  To openly be transparent with folks I don’t know is humbling and scary.  I trust that God will give me the courage to do this step of my recover.  I went to the group for one thing and now Lord I am exposing it all.  Now I see now my clients feel when I say to them as their therapist, “come on, get it out, where we can work on it” “it will free you” “you will feel better” “we can help you if we know what it is you are struggling with” “let it go”.  For 17 years as a therapist I have encouraged young people to do what I am struggling with at 52.  This process is critical from a human behavior standpoint and it is biblical.  I am pleased to know my work coincides with the word.  Now that makes it a little easier, but REALLY J 

My past is my past and I keep these things neatly packaged in a place in my heart.  Sometimes not so neatly packaged because my character flaws stem from the early stuff.  My shame lingers and hovers over me on a daily.  It will be good to set it free and be freed from this bondage.  I never look my abuser to this day in the eyes and I rather ever give men direct eye contact.  I was made to feel USED by the hands of my abuser, for his pleasure his experiment, his fantasy so I don’t feel worthy, worthy of a loving, caring man:woman relationship.  My first sexual encounter was wrong so I have to relearn God’s meaning.  Every relationship since then has been crazy; now clearing knowing the beauty of  relationships.  For the past several years sex has not been a part of my life this has allowed me to see life clearly without sex being in the way.  All along I have been healing and didn’t really realize it like this.  This is deep ! 

I want to walk in forgiveness, I do believe I have forgiven my abuser.  But I must forgive myself so that I can walk more clearly in the beauty of God.  I continue to free myself from my food addiction and it has been a worthwhile journey.  So here I go on another journey.  It is all worth it because I know God has me in a place in which He is working on me and using me. To God be the Glory. 

Weekend:  Friday – Grocery store then Dinner at Aladdin

                  Saturday – Seed Team, Clean my house, power walk Euclid Creek

                              Run some errands

                  Sunday – NCBF,  or Seed Team (if I didn’t go Saturday)

                                        possible dinner with friends

                                       Clean house if I didn’t do it Saturday LOL  LOL  LOL

Beauty: Allowing God to reveal to me who I am and how HE plans to use me.  Asking God to correct my character flaws so that he can better use me.  Doing these things will make me so much more beautiful of a lady.  

Inventory

Lord I appreciate Your hand of favor, Your grace and Your mercy.  You have now made me a new creature.  My past is the past and I with You I will move forward into the my future. Lord this gives me such peace and assurance.  Lord where would I be without You.  I am grateful and I honor You as I live my daily worship.  Amen !!

Yesterday is gone and with it went a piece of me holding on to the things that keep me in bondage.  As I prepare to do my life’s inventory, I have an opportunity to look through my life and determine what has caused harm to me, what I resent and how it has affected me and others and how much responsibility did I have.  I have to and need to work this through as an assignment in my Wednesday Life Group.  Each week one of us pours out past hurts, and next week I’m up.  WOW !  But as I listen weekly at others release their hurts and free themselves, I find myself lil by lil, bit by bit being freed because I identify with something each woman shares.  Next week I need to be real transparent.  I work to be transparent even as I blog, but the group goes deep.  I am praying that God will lead and guide me as I work on my list this week. 

I need God’s help because as I think about it, I am struggling with what God wants me to share.  Things that I think hurt me that I may regret I find myself saying it is ok, I have forgiven, and maybe I have and maybe I haven’t.  I was thinking I would have a laundry list and I don’t, is this good or bad, or am I in denial.  I need to go deep identify my character flaws and think about how it developed, where it started.  Not to point fingers but I guess I will have too.  A early history of sexual abuse I will need to begin, this is where my life went from normal to not so normal.  This is where secrecy, shame, feelings of powerless, mixed feelings started.  This is where my life took a turn.  This is where I chose not to reach out to anyone, not even my mother to seek help, this is where my guilt started.  I was a full grown woman when I shared with my mother about the abuse, she was shocked and thank God she believed me.  Right off he bat she believed me.  Her first words were was it your father, I immediately said no, as it was not.  I since of release came over her that I had never seen.  As much as she my father disagreed on things and argued she was so relieved that he had not betrayed her and me in this manner.  When I disclosed the offender she was shocked as he was a model citizen within our family.  She felt betrayed by him big time, REAL big time.  She apologized for my hurt and then realized why I might have been an angry person, you see my mother was not a social worker but she should have been.  She understood almost everything like that.  She asked if she could confront him and I told her no.  I still felt shamed as if I was wrong, she did not confront him but she did confront his mother, I am sure of it and his older sister.  I know because they began to treat me differently, in a good way.  I believe his mother told him because he looked at me differently.  He is now a man of God and has worked on his life.  He sees me at family gatherings and we speak and have very light conversation, very light but it is pleasant.  I did not want to bring it up to the family in a way in which would cause him shame either as he was young when it happened.  I think we respects me for that.  I didn’t cover it up but I didn’t cause him much embarrassment.   During the time of my loses he was there is his way doing what he should have been doing, which was praying.  He extended love to me and helped me out in many ways.  Through my mother’s life even after she found out she treated him with the same respect.  He always always visited my mom anywhere she was; nursing home, at home, anywhere.  I would walk in and he would be there with his bible or praying for her.

I have more stuff but this is a beginning of my inventory, it is one of my first bad experiences. Life changing trauma. 

  

Thank God my mother believed me !  

Beauty update:  

I was reading the directions and tips on the packaging of the Embryolisse Lait-Crème and one of the tips was “by all means to do allow water to dry on your skin, it will dehydrate you”.  It suggested patting dry. Well I have been doing this for about 3 weeks thinking this would hydrate my skin.  Happy I read it I was defeating the purpose.

 It also suggested drinking water J and eating healthy meals.  I am excited about this product.  Check this out:  in 1950, a dermatologist at a hospital in Paris specializing in skin pathologies created this cream.  It was quickly taken up by the medical profession because of its amazing effectiveness, and passed on from generation to generation.  Natural ingredients include Shea butter, rich in essential fatty acids and vitamins, A,D and E. known for its action on the tone and feel of the skin. Protective, softening beeswax.  Aloe Vera, called the “miracle from heaven” by Indians because of its wealth of virtues; contains vitamins A, E and B, minerals that combat free radicals such as selenium, amino acids and essential fatty acids; stimulates cell regeneration and retains water in large quantities.  Soy proteins with a firms action caused by stimulating collagen fibres, and moisturizing action, they contain all the essential amino acids.

Cost is $25.00 for 2.6 fl oz,  Amazon – shipping was free - recommending because of the natural ingredients 

Girly girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lord I need Your strength and power today.  I need maintain my focus throughout the day.  Lord I am grateful that You started me off today with a made up mind to serve you.  I am grateful that I know Your power and I rest assured that You will get me through the day without unnecessary stress.  Give me a pure heart !  Lord Lord Lord I cry out to You who are all knowing and loving.  Please extend Your mercy upon me today.  Remove any character flaws which stand in the way of my usefulness to you.  Give me the pleasant words to encourage others.

Yesterday evening “I got it in”.  True Image.  I must stop and give thanks to God for providing me and others with such a blessing.  Yesterday as I worked out I prayed blessings on the program for continued growth.  These ladies work to be a blessing to us on a daily basis.  The workout was awesome, fellowshipping with others is a blessing.  It is a win win.  I am been working hard to do 10 out of 20 jumping jacks, scissors, which challenging my body.  If we do an around the world, this means I would be doing about a total of 40 jacks and scissors.  Plus the other stuff LOL  During the workout I call on the Lord to give me strength to push.  As Toya says “tell your body yes”.  A young lady asked me to consult with her on her meals, I agreed but I will clear it with Kathy/Kim.  In return I asked her to give me some eye makeup tips, she wears it so well.  She agreed !

I kept things simple after workout, went warmed up dinner; baked pork chop with onions (protein), 2 red skin potatoes, mustard and turnip greens, salad and diet coke.  Deliciousness.

The weather on yesterday was beautiful and thus far today it is wonderful.  This is good outdoor power walking time.  It is the time of year to renew.  I sent out a couple notices to my walking and fitness accountability partners to get together a walking schedule for Euclid Creek.  We need to begin some training for the Rite Aide ½ marathon in May.  Lord willing I will begin walking/running Euclid Creek this weekend.  I am excited about this, it will help to build my endurance.  Yes running I will walk for 10 minutes then run for 3.  I will modify it as needed.

I have discovered that I am a girly girl.  I love to play with makeup and play dress up.  I love being the woman that God created me to be.  I thank God that I am a girl, lady, woman.  I like that I can wear pants, skirts, dresses.  I am living to be a Proverb 31 woman, WOW.  God made women so man would not be alone.   WOW  God values His creations and was looking out for us from the very beginning.  Understanding the role of a woman makes it easier to live in purpose.  These are things that I have learned as being a follower of the High Priest.  I am so glad I know the Lord.  Knowing that He has a plan for each of us.

                                 
Beauty:  God created all things good.  Embrace your beauty.  Makeup is only to enhance.
Embryolsse Lait-Crème (moisturizer) arrived I have not used it yet.  I will incorporate it in the a.m. as a daily moisturizer.  I have a few facial treatments I do in the a.m. and p.m.  My skin is mature and needs lots of hydration and moisture.  My face responds well to it.  I also use a special water to spray on my face and then add my other hydrations and moisturizers during my a.m. and p.m. routine.  I should be drinking water but it is much easier to spray it on.  Thus far no breakouts.  The tinted BB cream is working out nicely during the a.m., it is known to cause some breakouts then results.  I had one small pimple and it disappeared which is what others say happened to them.  My treatments include a produce recommended for hyper pigmentation, it is a serum (forgot the name) it evens out skintone.  It is working, I know because I am wearing less concealer, which is my goal, to reduce the use of concealer and foundation.  Twice a week I use a scrub that is not abrasive, the pieces are rounded as not to scratch and damage the skin.  Wonderful experience, I use it with the Clarisonic and it polishes the skin really well.  I am so tempted to do it daily but I don’t.  I have learned less is better with facial treatments and makeup.

I know I know, I am girly !  Some call it Diva, some call it Lola.  Whatever !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sacrific is DIfficult

Lord I want to honor You in all that I do.  I want You to be the focal point of my life.  I need Your loving presence pouring into me on a daily basis.  On days when my focus is blurred please bring me back to Your will.  Allow me to know the importance of You being my focal point, my priority.  I want to continue to live in Your perfect will for my life.  Thanks for giving me divine purpose.  Please Please continue to give me the knowledge and strength needed to be Your vessel.  Give me spiritual discernment in all that I do.  This is my desire and I thirst for it. 

OK I am still having difficulty adjusting to the time.  My alarm went off again this morning and I had to jump up, I don’t like this.  I will have to set my alarm an hour earlier to give me my morning time.  I don’t like to feel rushed in the morning. 

Yesterday I went to True Image.  I got it in.  We did some really good repetitions that I had not done before.  I am feeling it this morning.  We did lots of ab work, which I need in my life.  Abs and arms are my target areas.  It felt good being in the fellowship of True Image.  There were some new faces and some returning faces.  Praise God !  I have not been attending True Image regularly.  On Saturday I saw a fellow True Image lady and she encouraged me to come more consistency as briefly shared why I should.  I agreed and put it in my heart to do.  So I have my gym bag in the car and I am ready to go back in this evening.  Exercise is so crucial, it makes me feel so good.  My hardest thing is driving there, not being distracted and putting it off.  I have allowed any and everything to distract me, poor excuses.  So I am back for 3 days a week.  I do not want to pick my weight back up, it is so easy.  Me better than anyone knows this from a lifetime of repeating this cycle.  Much of my purpose is in my healthy lifestyle.  If I am to encourage, motivate and reach out to others I must continue this journey strong and consistent.  God gave me a another chance and for this I am grateful. 

This evening I will return to True Image to work it out.  When I got there yesterday my before and after photo was in the front window.  You talking about accountability LOL 

Thank You Lord for putting it in my face.  I never dreamed that I would have this type of testimony.  It only confirms that we serve a mighty God that can do any and all things.  The before and after photo is nice and I enjoy seeing it but it is the feeling within that I cannot put to print that God loves.  I must be about my Father’s business and continue to work in His will.  I eat good, very good, my meals are so pleasing and well balanced and for this I am grateful.  I tend to slip in the area of exercise.  Scarifying my time in the evening has been difficult.  But when I thought about it I was sacrificing to lose so I must continue to maintain.  Through Christ who strengthens me I can do this.  We all can do it.  Surrending to God’s will can be difficult but we CAN do it.

On Sunday I sat there and looked at the video of the father and son.  I was totally blown away at the courage and strength of this father and his love for his son.  Only God could have given him the strength to complete his journey.  Only God.  He had to carry the weight of his son and he accomplished his goal.  Now you know I can show up to True Image 3 days a week J  Come on, REALLY !  Thank you Lord for revealing this to me.

  

Beauty:  Do not neglect the workout J  Treat yourself to exercise.  It is so worth the sacrifice. 

I have began to use tinted (Smashbox) BB cream and it has SPF, tinted moisturizing, I am mixing Mary Kay and Mac, Mary Kay has more gold tone and I prefer it to the Mac.  I am using Mac mineralized powder over it with bronzer.  I am liking the effect for an spring/summer everyday look, especially since I am working out more.  The tinted BB cream provides moisturizing accents and is next to my surface skin.  I like knowing this when I workout that the BB cream is there to protect my skin while I sweat.  I should probably wash my face or use makeup clothes before working out but that is too much work J  The BB cream is known to be a really good cream there are pros and cons.  Reviews say you may expect some breakouts, so I am watching and be careful.  

Glory of the Lord

Lord You are so magnificent, I give You honor and all the praise for who You are.  Magnificent in all things.  All knowing, All powerful, All loving father, You rule with such grace and mercy.  Thank You for extending your grace, mercy and favor to me. 

WOW it is Monday and the time has sprung forward.  This morning I was slowing moving, I am usually an early riser, I allowed the alarm to wake me.  I have got to get adjusted.  Yesterday I volunteered in the nursery with the infants, what an amazing task.  Everything is ran so smoothly and with sooooo much love.  The babies got our undivided attention as it was two adults and 2 infants, what a wonderful ratio.  The babies are really sweet and lovable.  I found myself after church reaching out to a young lady who had an infant and shared the news about our new nursery.  I am in the Children’s Ministry, well ………..  I am pleased that I was obedient, it is a stretch but God gave me the strength to care for the babies J  Sam was wise not to put my old self in the toddler room, all I can say is praise God.  God is amazing, He looks out for you when you not even thinking about it.  I kind of look forward to going back J  We got to also celebrate Stephanie’s birthday at dinner. 

Sunday’s sermon was wonderful “trust Him”, which is what I am working to allow myself to do.  I love with the Word is directly to me, and I walk away being able to use the Word.  This is what I love about NCBF ministry, I never walk away unfed.   Pastor Washington always brings the Word with such amazing examples.  He was really good to see him. 

On Friday night I and a few ladies went to a church for a relationship workshop, it meets the 2^nd and 4^th Friday of every month.  Why when we get there we find out the class had been canceled.  We had been so pumped up and were coming with great expectation. Well the Lord never fails.  The sister that invited us to come had a CD from the last workshop, so we all loaded into her car, popped the CD in and listened.  For a 1 ½ we were poured into.  The teaching was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo truly amazing.  God was still able to get the word in us and build us up in our singleness.  The key points of the teaching was Do you know him, him as the man or woman you are courting.  Do you know the foundation of which he stands, do you know his heart.  He gave us clear examples of how to identify if this is what God has sent us or if it is of an evil nature.  Man this word was awesome.  I look forward to being able to attend the next workshop; they put us all on the email list to keep us updated.  We all knew that if we had known the class was cancelled we most likely would not have gotten together, heard the word and had a wonderful dinner to process the word.  God is amazing. 

Saturday I celebrated Jordan’s first birthday.  He is such a cute lil guy and I love his parents.  What  I love is that they were obedient to God and as a result their marriage is blessed.  I love their living testimony.  God has used them to be examples to other couples in our church family who walked in obedience. 

I had a wonderful Sunday dinner, I have been cooking daily with the plan I am on and it helps me to have what I consider really nice Sunday meals for my family.  Again God is amazing, I cooked ribs, chicken, baked yams, boiled red skin potatoes, mustard and turnips, and a delicious salad.  It feels good to have one meal with the family a week; our schedules keep us apart at dinner time.  We even had a good friend drop back with her lil grand daughter.  Really good relaxing Sunday.  Next Sunday some of my church fam has invited me out to dinner since it is my birthday month.  We will have food fellowship together, I love my friends so much, they all have been really good friends.  God blessed me with a wonderful mother in life and with really good friends.  God always provides because even in my singleness I am not lonely or lacking things to keep me busy.  Sometimes I think I am too busy to be in a courtship.  Lord help me. 

My prayers go out to the young man’s family who was shot this weekend by the police officer.  He was only 20 years old.  Hearing and knowing some people that know him triggered my issues.  God was able to use me to be of a lil support.  I sincerely pray that he knew the Lord as his savior.

Beauty:  Well the Sensationail kit system is a winner.  It worked it held my manicure up for two weeks.  Over the weekend I picked up two new colors; pink and mauve.  I had  two $2.00 off coupons and a CVS $4.00 extra buck coupon, which brought the price down considerably.  I stayed away from Nordstrom and Sephora this weekend.  I want to try the new tinted moisturizer from NARS.  I have a tinted moisturizer from MAC and Mary Kay so they should get me through the spring and summer.  I have been enjoying my skincare regiment, the products have not irritated my skin nor have I gotten any blemishes.  The texture of my skin is improving and my under eye area is lighten/brighten up.  Someone yesterday told me I was glowing, I smiled to myself and thought is it my highlighting/bronzing techniques or the glory of the Lord J  I pray it is the glory of the Lord.  

Sharing Blesses Everyone

Lord I thank You for blessing our group last evening.  You never fail; I have learned to trust that You will show up and make sure your children are feed.  Lord I honor all that You do.  You are doing great things in our group and for this I am grateful.  Amen ! Amen !

Last night our Life Group was blessed with the testimony of 3 women of God.  They shared their testimony of weight loss.  They were transparent, and honest.  They shared practical information that we all could use.  We could all identify ourselves in each one of their testimonies.  The ladies in the group responded with questions and offered words of encouragement to our speakers.  So awesome.  I know that God is real and that when His work needs to be done it will be done, in order and it will bless everyone involved.  I enjoy working with women and there is no sense of jealously, back biting.  The women came in with a desire to pour into.  Scripture and prayer was the foundation of their journey. 

This week as been awesome.  Yesterday I sat with Sam as I was being trained to work in the Children’s Ministry.  Yeah !  Pray !  I will be volunteering second Sunday, 1^st service with the toddler.  Why ?  Because of my grandson and the need for volunteers.  WOW.  This is totally out of the box, God is stretching me.  I believe in the nursery and was so grateful when the church moved in that direction, so totally support what this means for mothers/caregivers.  Until you have sat in a service with your infant/toddler and not been able to fully focus on the service.  So when I heard there was a nursery coming I was on board with this blessing.  Jayden is a tad bit hyper and gets over stimulated so sitting through a service with him is almost next to impossible.  And don’t let him have a terrible 2 tantrum.  So this Sunday will be my first time serving in the Children’s Ministry.  Yeah Yeah Yeah  Sam is doing an amazing job she is professional and works to make the ministry successful and a blessing to the children and families.  

Weekend:

Tonight – Relationship workshop then birthday dinner for Stephanie.  I missed her birthday a few weeks ago so we will celebrate tonight. 

Saturday-  Workout True Image – 8:00 a.m. bright and early WOW

Birthday party – looking forward to having a blast. 

Jayden can’t come with me as he is going to DaDa’s birthday party. 

Saks – need to pick up Gurlain bronzer

Cook Sunday dinner

Sunday – Children’s nursery (toddler) then service

Nice quiet dinner at home with the fam – I am expecting to be tired as I am an old lady working in a room with up to 10 toddlers LOL – I may need a glass of wine J

A Reason and a Very Long Season

My precious saviour, thank You for saving me !   Lord give me the strength to get through this day.  Give me peace, patience and revelation. 

I have to be extremely focused today.  I have tons of things on my plate.  A busy workday and co-facilitating Life Group tonight.  I have a desk full of assignments and challenges, nothing out of the usual, it is a very familiar challenge.  My career is of assessing human behaviors and dynamics, then summarizing, put it into a narrative and then developing a plan of action.  To do this I have to gather info from various people; family, client, other treatment facilities, funders, etc.  I have to determine the level of care and if it meets the criteria for our residential program.  Intake is the gatekeeper/entry for referrals.  Boy do we have deadlines, guidelines, polices and procedures, SOPs.  But every job has them.  In doing this work I have assess to child abuse and trauma on a daily.  God put me here for a reason and it has been a very long season.  Some say my skill set is working with AA families which is about an 85% population.  I do have a calming ability, they usually give the tough calls to me.  I work to give the parents an understanding of the mental health world and how it relates to their children and families and how to achieve their goals.  On a face to face most families are relieved to see an AA therapist step in and will say so.  Not to say I give them a break or let them off the hook, but they feel I understand the Black family.  They also deep down inside know if there is game I will recognize it.   I work skillfully to offer interventions and strategies for success without humiliating or judging.   I see with eyes of experience because my family is as dysfunctional as the next.  I work not to judge first, but I feel I have a good discernment for people who are a bit  messy J  I work real hard to treat each and every mother, single mother, single dad, grandma as I would like a professional to treat my family.  So I am here because God put me here to help children/families.  Again I say God put me here and I am here to help children/families.  On a busy day like today I needed to remind myself why I am here J 

I’m off break now.  See ya

                   

Beauty - FOTD (Face of the Day ) – Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in Raspberry Pie (love it) ,  Drug store foundation, Mac Mineralized bronzer in deep dark, eyeshadow; lancome, wet N wild.  Earrings; Forever 21 (I love them they are so girly), necklace; Betsy Johnson (breast cancer awareness necklace).  Sorry photos would not upload.  

Fantasy to Nightmare

Lord you are so gracious and loving.  I thank You for today !  Grateful, Grateful, Grateful!

Judah and Tiffany Early

                                                                                   

During Friday Night Live I attended “A Man’s Heart” breakout with Minister Judah E and his lovely wife during Friday Night Live.  This young man of God shared so much valuable information.  There were several key points, one being “Fantasy to Nightmare”.  He explained that once a man’s fantasy with a woman is complete (sexual relations) the woman’s nightmare begins.  For example; once the man has what he wants you begin to see the real him and for the woman it becomes a total nightmare.  He gave so many examples of this principle and it appeared that every man and woman in the room was blessed.  It was if he was busting the players.  He allowed us to know what men think from a man’s perspective.  He shared examples of how a man’s love for a woman looks and how to REALLY be able to identify it in a relationship.  As I looked around the room he had everyone’s attention, including mine.  I really appreciated his transparency and allowing himself to be used by God to help the singles. He had us laughing and really received questions well.  I found myself in the Amen corner with some friends as we all could relate to the nightmares of our past.  I am glad I serve a God that is preparing my heart and allowing me to receive and be poured into.  He suggested that we as women open our mouths and ask questions, which is something I am passive about or to say what we expect from the relationship. 

We shared the experience to some other women who were not present and they asked if it was on tape.  It would have been a valuable tool to other singles.  But God had he wanted to hear it present and the one that were there can share. 

This Friday I am attending my first relationship workout for Christians with a sister girlfriend from NCBF.  I am excited about the workout as she has said they have really blessed her.  I have watched her make decisions in her singleness and see her as a good example of a Proverb 31 woman.  Not really sure what the topic is.  So I am trusting her opinion on this one J  We will go to dinner and hang out and have some fun afterward. 

Daddy Issues  - I have never really experienced the love of a man.  I can be honest because this is why I blog.  Not even my dad was totally vested in me.  He loved me as a parent but I didn’t really really feel the love the sacrifice.   I knew if I asked him for something after careful consideration and me really pushing it he would do what was right.  But I did not go to him first, I went to mom who would go to him.  If  I went to him he would say go to your mama.  But as an adult I know he was only human and that we all have our flaws.  He provided for the family, worked hard, was a Christian and he never abused me in anyway.  So for this I am totally grateful.  He exampled to me a excellent work ethic.  I do not have awful memories of him but no real loving memories either.  I remember his good sense of humor above everything.  He was not a mean man at all just selfish in his ways.  I forgave my dad while my mother was still living.  I knew I had because as she would talk about him in a hurtful way I would not engage her.  I would only respond to the good he did for the family.  As I work as a social worker I hear the most awful stories of family dynamics, the worse, the worse, the worse.  It gives me a greater appreciation for my life and I am more sensitive to the children I serve.  I know God is my Father and loves me and I appreciate my earthy father.  

Beauty tip:  Have loving thoughts and smile.  

Image

Lord You give me Joy !  You give me Peace !  You give me Love !  You do not give me the spirit of fear, anxiety and depression this is of the enemy.  I recognize Your goodness and what You have ordered for me.  Lord help me keep Your goodness as MY focus.  I ask You for forgiveness of any disobedience and ungratefulness. 

Today I plan to workout after work, no excuse.  It seems things have been happening in the evening causing me to not make my workout on a regular basis.  I cooked my dinner this morning while getting dressed.  This plan and preparation works well for me.  I cook my protein for lunch and my dinner in the a.m. so when I come home I simply warm it up, pull out my salad and warm up veggie and potatoe (white or yam).  My meals are pretty much the same daily, I interchange proteins and veggies and either or with potatoes yams or red skin white potatoe.  Most nights I get home after 9 so I need to know my meal is ready when I get home.  This lifestyle is really keeping me disciplined to bringing my lunch daily and eating meals at home.  I save tons of money and the food is so good and nourishing.  I always look forward to my meals.  I am in maintance phase with True Image and with FA.  Holding at a size 10.   WOW !  Thank you Jesus ! 

With FA you lose weigh whether you exercise or not.  I chose to exercise because it keeps me feeling strong.  I like the feeling of accomplishment when I finish a exercise routine.  Each workout is a challenge, but so worth it.  I am learning through this whole process that I am worthy and I feel good.  Although it is a process of learning that I am in the right body size my true image.  In certain areas I have more confidence, I enjoy social events so much more.  I have peace with my food.  I don’t go to an event to scout out food I go for the fellowship of being with people I enjoy.

                                                     

Beauty and fashion Haul :  I found the shoes, I found the shoes !  Last evening I went to the mall looking around not for shoes but was making a friendly stop by Sephora.  After leaving Sephora I began to wander around the mall.  I passed ALDO and remembered I needed shoes, well they had some neutral tone shoes, but they were not doing it for me.  And on top of that they were 89 bucks.  NO way !  They had lots of wedges, I like wedges but not for this outfit.   I went into Nine West and there it was the sign big as day 70% off the lowest price.  YES !  My eyes went to the shoes, I turned them over and the lowest price was 79 bucks.  My heart was racing, I needed these shoes !  I said you don’t have them in a 9 ½ or 10 and he had them..  He came out with both sizes I could have screamed with joy.  So you know I got them, 35 bucks including taxes.  I also picked up a dress from a couple dresses from H&M one is a repeat, I liked it that much.  I sent it out to the cleansers and they ruined it, the colored bleed, this time I will wash it myself in cold water.  It is a mod like 60s dress.  The other is a cute black dress, knee length, I will wear leggings with it in the Spring with a cute lil shoe.  I picked up H&M’s Spring catalog and there is a denim jumpsuit I would like to sport.  Last year this time I did not even think of shopping in H&M because of my size.  This amazes me, and the funny thing is every time I go in their dressing room, my heart races as I expect the items not to fit me.  I still image myself as my plus size self.  Even when I tried on the shoes I was expecting to be my regular size 10, the 9 ½ fit but I probably could have gotten the 9.  Nine West had 70% off, 50% off and 30% off. 

I went into Sephora looking for Guerlian bronzer, they don’t carry it in the store, I wanted to see the various shades and then make a selection.  I was disappointed.  But not to worry, I picked up a Sephora fuchsia cream blush, really nice rich color.  It looks nice on my completion.  I also picked up another Smash box illuminating primer, I mix a lil with my foundation for an illuminating effect.  I also Grace by Philosophy, I usually get Amazing Grace, trying something different.  I used 100 points and got Laura Mercia (sp) primer and I a two pack SUGAR lip balm as  Sephora birthday gift and I used.  I love samples especially sample primers. 

I went to Forever 21 and picked up a few pair of stud like earrings in gold and silver tones. They are small and cute, with my hair longer you really can’t see my earrings and right now I am not into bigger earrings.  Keeping it simple.  I passed Aldo accessories and their Spring line is real colorful.  A bit too colorful for me.  So I passed right on by.

Weekend:  Friday night me and another sis are going to a relationships workshop.  They are offered once a month and this will be my first.  Me in a relationship workshop is incredible.  Ready to learn in preparation of God’s goodness.  God is leading me to this workshop as I have been invited for the past 3 months and this time I put it on my schedule.  I feel it is worth my time. 

Saturday will be Saturday, however I am led.  I may need to help Jayden and Ariel move into their new apartment.  Yes their new apartment.  Praise the Lord.  I love them dearly and will miss them.  I am so pleased I was allowed to have them in my house for this time and now they will enter into a new chapter of their lives.  I am proud of Ariel, she works, goes to Tri C and is a single mom.  She is trying to live for the Lord.  

Tripping Out

Tripping Out

    Lord I need to surrender all of me, not just the parts that are comfortable to me.  I need to be more obedient and do as you lead me.  Lord blessing are around the corner from me and yet I turn my back from You instead of trusting that You have my very best interest.  I am so sorry!  This is a big one a life changing thing and I so need You involved and I so need to trust YOUR will. 

Everyday I talk about trusting God and living in His will.  And yet I set out about MY business and work against God’s will.  What He is wanting me to do will enhance my life and set me out on a path I could only dream about.  He has prepared me and He knows that I am ready to live.  I somehow do not feel worthy of the blessing, I deny that anything good could come my way.  This is when I lose sight of God and ME takes over, I forgot all about His promises for me, I forget about WHO He is.  I operate in self forgetting my Father is the King of Kings and the savior of my soul.  I forget that He created me as His loving child and wants me to offer myself to Him to be used. 

I have to be about action and not so much talk.  I talk and write a real good game.  But I know when I have fallen short and I did.  God opened the door of opportunity to me and I resisted.  I must wear the full amour and get ready to face my challenge and stop living soft.  I need to experience the life God is preparing for me and show gratefulness instead of weakness.  God has so much in store for me and it is right around the bend, he is not asking for much, only that I take one step forward and He will hold me up and allow me to fulfill his promise.  Now I know God doesn’t need my help to make this happen but it is a lesson of humility and kindness of which I think I have, but when it comes down to the real real real deal, I failed. 

God is preparing me for a testimony of his grace and mercy.  I know this, so why am I tripping.  I saw a movie this weekend and the husband had been a big time gambler and his wife had been with him during his gambling days, he gave it up and was a business man of great wealth.  He was the best loving husband and father and shared his life, love and wealth with her unselfishly.   She slowly began to notice a chance in him.  He began to distance himself from her, setting her up and being mean spirited.  She then knew he had gambling again.  She sat down right in his face, looked him in his eyes and said you want to fail, you are setting yourself up to be all alone, broke and miserable.  You don’t think you are worthy of all of this.  She said I am not going anywhere so you can forget it.  I love you too much.  He listened as she spoke and he knew she was right.  They engaged in a compassionate hug.  Like the gambler I don’t feel worthy and have envisioned myself failing.  But God keeps looking me dead in my face and saying I LOVE U TOO MUCH !

                                                               

                                                         

Beauty:  Revlon Lip Butters; color brown sugar, fig tree are a neural lovers delight.  Sheer coverage with a lil shimmer.  It really goes on like butter and feels so soothing and moisturizing.  I picked up some other others, in pink (lollipop), and a couple other pinkie tones.  Now pinkie in a good way, very soft and sheer.  It works for me because I am so not a bold lip color gal.  I do it but I am bit uncomfortable.  I recommend these lippies to anyone liking a hint of color with moistening effects.  Use of a lip liner helps give a lil definition.  

Blend, Blend, Blend – Build, Build, Build

Lord God almighty you never fail to amaze me.  You have shown me how to live in peace and enjoy the life of abundance.  Lord because of You I know LIVE. 

Last night I worked out, boy was I filling it.  I have to get back to my 3 day a week routine.  I must, there is no way around it.  Yesterday was my 1 year anniversary of my return to True Image.   A year ago I was extremely depressed searching for answers.  I was at the point in my life where I seriously had to decide live or die.  I chose life; I knew that in order to live I needed God.  God guided me back to True Image; I needed strength in my body, to feel strong.  I also needed to rededicate myself to Christ and stop being angry at the Lord for taking the people that were so special to me.  I had to get up and move on.  So I did and I am glad.  At that point I made a decision to live and to live good and to live a life pleasing to God.  I also decided to make decisions in my life that were Godly and not to do anything that I did not feel lead by God to do.  I have a passive aggressive personality, I have the ability to be pissed off and no one knows.  This has eaten me up alive.  I decided to speak up, get things out so that I am not festering harmful thoughts in my mind.  I also decided to be pleasant to others, to encourage others, to smile at others, to be an overall nice person.  To say positive things to people and when needed to do it in a constructive manner.  I want my life to be of value to others, God has me here for a reason. 

I continue to work on me and ask God to reveal in me what I need to make me a better person.  This has been a journey.  I work hard to not say harmful things and to be sensitive to the needs of others.  In doing this I have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. 

My mother lived her entire life for her funeral, she really did.  She would say I want people to be able to have nice thoughts about me and say good things.  I want them to know I lived my life for the Lord. I now understand the depth of her spirit.  I am fortunate to have had her as an example of love right here on earth. 

I will be attending Friday Night Live; I was there last night briefly as they set up for tonight.  There was such excitement in the room and everything looks so nice and well planned out.  This happens when people work in their gifting.  I saw no chaos, no arguing no egos, I saw peace and order.

Gonegirlgo- Congratulations to Zoe for kicking off her dream of moving us all along.  What a blessing this will be.  I plan to take place and get myself moving deeper in my passion.  March 24th at 10:00 a.m. Shaker Library.

Beauty:  I have worked out how to build my filer, color corrector, concealer and derma blend and power under my eyes.  WOW it is a real work of art.  I have tried so much to get the appropriate effect.  My problem was I was trying to use one item or I was using items with the wrong consistency.  The L’Oreal color corrector consistency is so thin that it slides on, Mac full coverage concealer is the bomb, and then foundation, then lastly the derma blend.  In using this step process I only need a couple dabs of derma blend to finish it off as it is thick and using it along was too much of a build up.  I love being a girl and playing with makeup, I really do.  There is a make up guru so enforces the importance of blending so I learned early in the makeup game that using proper brushes and blending crucial.   But no one really showed me how to build; it is something I had to individualize for my specific needs.  Mac Fix + is hands down the best, a few sprays gives a real nice finish.

List of possibilities for March :  Mac Spike eyebrow pencil, Armani foundation or Lancôme, and more Mac mascara, Guilt by association-mineralized eye shadow. 

February Favorites – Items I went to daily, in no certain order

Derma Blend

Mac Fix +

Sona Kasha slanted eyeliner brush

Maybelline Blackest Black gel liner

ELF bronzer – use for highlighting under brow

Sensationail nails – manicure is holding strong after 1 week

Thrifting at Avalon – 3 jackets

Neutrogena pressed power

Skin products – ROC, Larches, and Vichy

L’Oreal – color corrector

Milan – Lipstick - #24 Orange Gina

February Regrets

That target is not keep stocked up on ELF products 

"Be there and be Blessed"

Lord I come to You today with excitement.  Lord You always surround me with Your love.  You allow me to experience You love in such an amazing way.  You give me Peace daily, You allow me to live each day knowing that You are my Lord and Master and trusting that You alone will prove Yourself magnificent.  Lord Bless this day !

Tonight is Fit for the King, I am going expecting a blessing.  Knowing that God has put me here to glorify God with my life experience.  God gives me a reason and a purpose to push forward.  I have planned a few clever exercises and ice breakers for tonight.  We will not be able to make us of the welcome hall as it is set up for Friday Night Live.  Hopefully the ladies won’t be to let down as they were expecting me to led the boot camp routine.  I was a bet nervous about doing it, but I planned to do it for the ladies as they love this style of workout.  I am praying that the ladies have been successful in their lifestyle change. 

Friday Night Live – I am excited and ready to experience all that God has planned for me to receive.  NCBF events always bless me as I come expecting a blessing.  I am excited about the fellowship and the various breakouts.  Lord use all that are planning the event, work through them as they are your vessels.  Let the newcomers experience Christ in this event and lead the unsaved to the Lord. 

Beauty - Last evening sis Juanita did her thing on my hair.  This sister works in her gifting and is such a blessing to me.  As we ladies know our hair is our glory.  She always allows me to be me in her chair and I appreciate this.  She sees the unmasked me with washed off makeup, gray hair, you name it.  And them right before our eyes she works it out.  We are already planning a summer look.   She works to keep up with new techniques and I respect her skills enough to allow her to work it out on me.   I respect her creativity and try to let her know I really appreciate her.  Her mother makes a natural hair oil that I will be using. 

Fitness:  March 1, 2012 - Today is my 1 year anniversary of my return to True Image.  I praise God for what this program has done for me.  God has allowed me to accomplish my goal and pushes me to move forward in my purpose.