Inner Beauty

Lord I love You !  Please forgive me for my sins.  As I now sit here with things festering that should not be I ask You to forgive me.  Lord help me show your love and express kindness.  Lord hold my tongue, let the words that flow from it be worthy and express words of encouragement and kindness.  Let me be a person that brings forth peace, love and kindness.  Work on me in this area as I rely on You and need You in this area of my life.  Let me desire goodness for myself and others.  Let me sow seeds of kindness and generosity.  Open my heart to forgive and move forward.  I trust You Lord.  Lord thank You for dying on the cross for my sins, I thank You.  Thank You ! Amen !

Yesterday was Good !  The day was productive and I accomplished some tasks that were of a priority.  I continue to grow in my walk with the Lord.  I know that it is a process which requires patience.  Right now I need to practice patience in the area of my fitness.  I am struggling with not being able to fully workout.  I know my foot was not broke by accident.  It was in God’s plan for me, slowing me down, allowing me time to be comfortable with whom I am.  Right now I feel so much of me is wrapped up in my outer image.  I have to dig deep and love the me inside, this time has given time to work on the inner me.  To work on getting some areas of my inner self more God like.  I had spent a lot of time getting physically fit and working on enhancing my look with makeup.  God wants me to get fit inside and enhance some of my character flaws.  Things that stand in my way of being a vessel for Him. 

Beauty:  Inner work is the hard stuff, even more difficult than physically working out.  I am being challenged to look in the mirror and see me.  Because what I am on the inside is really who I am.  I have to look at what I am projecting out of my heart.  What is my foundation ?  J  No Mac, no Makeup Forever, no Lancôme, no Smashbox foundations can cover up and enhance my inner self.  What is my foundation? Am I standing solid and being obedient to God’s word.  Or am I more worried about the how heels the shoes I am standing on are.  Is my heart, sweet, sincere, forgving ?  Is it as warm as my bronzer, bold to speak up for Christ as the boldness of my eyeliner ?  You see where this is going. 

God is using this time for me to begin to realize working on my inner stuff is just as important as my outer image.  You got to love the Lord J  Lord I hear You.  I serve a loving master.  One that wants me to be all I can be, one who knows there is more to me than my outer image.  One who wants me to be lovely as he formed me.  My experience of the broken foot will always remind me of God’s love for me. 

I know that likenesses attract and so I cannot expect to Boaz to be sent to me with messed up inside.  Knowing that likenesses attract I don’t know if I would REALLY want my likeness to approach me until I have worked through some of my inner stuff.  I get it, I get it.  J   I’m doing my homework J

Food:  This a.m. I made my routine breakfast, back on track with that.  It was good and it is way less expensive to have breakfast at home.  For what I paid for one morning breakfast at Stove Oven covers the cost of my breakfast at home for over 7 days.  Yeah ! 

I made some pork chops while I got dressed and baked a yam, I have salad leftovers in the frig at work.  I picked up some low sugar Ranch salad dressing on my drive in. 

Exercise:  This evening I will be leading Fit for the King life group. I have some nice daily meditations for the ladies and a nice food game.  Since the weather is nice we will go outside for a nice walk.  This will be my first walk.  I feel safe as I will be with a gang of women who love all over me and will make sure I don’t overdo it.  It will feel good.  I put my tennis shoes in the car to see if I can walk in them or use my boot. 

Major change: Relationship :  This is another relationship I am working to preserve.  The other relationship I am good.  Things are ok and no damage to the relationship.  Now, this is a new SITUATION.  Let me start by saying this is a relationship that has grown for years.  We have been supportive of one another in Big ways.  I believe a piece of my relationship with them needs to end.   I am doing some research and feel led to make this change.  Again it is not that deep.  It is just me and how I like things.  I need this taken care of to reduce my stress.  I am sorting it out in my mind and working to do it in a way which will not offend anyone.  Although I am disappointed in the some things I love the individual and want to make this change in a positive manner.  I still want to do what I need to do and leave the other person feeling good about them.  I learned this from hanging around with a Godly woman.  It is good to surround yourself with Godly people.