Welcome to Olivia's Daughter....a blog that I created in March 2010 to document my blessed journey of healing. Since I began this blog, my mother has gone home to be with the Lord along with my son, Chris Reshaud Jordan, who was murdered in October 2009. After these two devastating events, I felt forsaken by God. I cried out to the Lord seeking my purpose in life. Throughout this experience, I had to make the choice to surrender to a life of worthlessness or to live my life to the fullest, a life filled with abundance and love.


God has strengthened me. I am seeking Him daily and and working to live in His will which is leading me to my purpose and passion. I think of Chris and Olivia constantly, but I have turned this over to God. I want God to use me as his vessel giving Him the glory.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Stuck in Stupid


Breaking Strongholds
Lord Lord Lord !!  I cry out to You for help, for relief and guidance.  Lord You know my concerns like no other.  Give me a renewed spirit, I am working to build my relationship with You Lord and things are hitting me right and left.  Give me the strength to face my situations and move.  I need to move, I don’t want to become stuck.  Lord help me.  Give me the words I need to say and to say them in a kind and productive manner.  Lord I need You !  I love You and realize I can not go through this without You.  Thank You !

This weekend I was stuck in stupid for the most part.  I have some life changing situations going on that are SO overwhelming.  When I get like this I either shutdown or I move forward.  This weekend I chose to be stuck in my stupidiness and not look to God, remaining home all day on Sunday with the covers over my head.  Yeah !  Now I need to be in the House of the Lord during this time, but I couldn’t move.  But how is it I moved to go to work today.  I struggle with this.  The Lord has been so good to me and yet I shut Him out of my heart and don’t give of myself.  I have to serve God during the good times and the bad times.  I know this, but Sunday morning I could not move.  I am gradually falling, slipping into where I don’t want to be.  I know this and I am asking God to help me keep my focus and Trust that He will bring me through.  Although yesterday I did make an important phone call which will help me move forward.  I felt very positive about the situation and will be following up this week.  I put things off until it becomes dangerous and toxic in my life.  I have always had this problem but since my losses it is to the point of being really toxic.  It is a serious stronghold.  One of which I must come from under.   Lord I am asking forgiveness for all of my stupidiness and for not being responsible. 

On Friday my blog was about organization, on that very day my thoughts and life were so disorganized I could barely write.  I know the importance of order but I have not been applying it properly.  I am going through the motions of appearing ok on the outside but on the inside I am a wreck.  My emotions for the past few months have been a wreck and my house is a wreck.  Outwardly I appear cool, but I am a mess.  God has been the factor holding me together, if I did not trust in the Lord I don’t know where I would be.  Really.  I am rebuilding my life and entering a new chapter. God has plans for me and I know this but things are happening to mess with my spirit to take me off course.  I am so glad to be back to this blog to write and get things out of me.  Now that my Mac is working, I will be able to write more, I lost my power cord and I am waiting for a delivery from Amazon for a new one.  Then I should be able to blog on the weekend.  On Friday I had my hand on my phone to call off but I knew if I stayed at home alone I would run myself crazy with thoughts.  It was the best decision ever, I was able to mingle with coworkers to keep my mind off issues.  So I know I should have done the same on Sunday, the people of God are my family and I should have been there.

I do feel so much better.  Thank You Lord for Your help.

Updates:  I will be turning over my guest blog to gonegirlgo this week.  So look forward to going over and reading it at gonegirlgo.blogspot.com.  I will keep you posted on the day in which it is uploaded.  On Saturday, I attended one of several sessions for the gonegirlgo movement.  What I walked away with was that I need to keep moving forward with my passion and purpose. I was able to be with other women who have the same desire to move.  Very encouraging.

Also on Saturday I met with a girlfriend who is beginning to put her dream of opening a food service company, which will education on the principle of healthy eating, preparation.  I was able to help her design her first set of business cards.  It was really nice to be able to help her in this manner.  So many people are helping me that I see the importance of sharing my gifts to help and support her. 

Monday is an important day for me because it starts off my week.  Also important because I met with the team of Tenth Talent Media and we work on our plan.  It is such an exciting experience. 

I have homework all over the place.  WOW my power cord has just arrived.  It’s On !  I have my tool my Mac.  The Mac is totally Back and operational.


I will be able to outline my homework for Tenth Talent and gonegirlgo.  YES YES YES

Thank You Jesus !  
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