Welcome to Olivia's Daughter....a blog that I created in March 2010 to document my blessed journey of healing. Since I began this blog, my mother has gone home to be with the Lord along with my son, Chris Reshaud Jordan, who was murdered in October 2009. After these two devastating events, I felt forsaken by God. I cried out to the Lord seeking my purpose in life. Throughout this experience, I had to make the choice to surrender to a life of worthlessness or to live my life to the fullest, a life filled with abundance and love.


God has strengthened me. I am seeking Him daily and and working to live in His will which is leading me to my purpose and passion. I think of Chris and Olivia constantly, but I have turned this over to God. I want God to use me as his vessel giving Him the glory.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Day 66- iweb



Yes it is Friday !!

This means alot to me. It means I have a few days to do some of the things I want and like to do. Again today we had lot's of assessments and tasks to accomplish at work. I am so swamped that it is difficult for me to focus and get the tasks done. We have been busy before, but this time it is different. We have a different supervisor, who is being pushed to take everything on, and we don't have the manpower to pull it off. Yesterday we had a sibling group of 6, in addition to our already heavy caseload. Well our supervisor went out and assessed 4 of the 6. She is already assigning assessments for next week and we haven't begun to finish this week's assignments. We are even having to get another department to take a few of the assessments. Like they don't have enough to do. Our department is critical in that we fill beds that allow other's to work and bill. I know, I should be talking about how we service children, but for the past few months that has not been the focus.

I said all that to say this. Thank God It's Friday !!

I came right home after work and got busy working on a new website for 4C. I am doing it in iweb for Mac. This is a easy enough program. It has it's advantages and disadvantages. Advantages; clean and modern look, attaches photos instantly, text is easily added. Disadvantages; the template is not allowing me to put logo where I want, no administrative page where I can go in and add codes for widgets (facebook and twitter widgets), contact page-how do I add boxes for clients to fill in information and send us email.

I am sure someone can help me work these kinks out. I was actually able to do a 8 page website in a matter of 4 hours. I will have my partners check it out and we will launch it. How exciting, I had lost some interest in our current website. We need to send a new message to our audience. I love technology and how it allows us to communicate. Totally amazing I love Mac. My Mac works like magic.

I love working with technology and seeing how a click here and tap there on a keyboard produces effective communication. God please give me more wisdom in this area and I want to be a benefit to 4C and in doing so I will make sure You get the glory.

I will keep everyone posted when we launch our new website. If you have not already done so check out our current site www.4cEventplanners.com

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Day 64




This day is winding down and boy am I glad. I am tired. I have so much to do that it is difficult to priortize my many tasks. It seemed like, task after task, after task is accumulating. I am asking God to help me tomorrow. On top of what I have, I need to do a new assessment tomorrow. Only God can help me get through all these assignments and do a professional job.

Well for our 4C Event Planning company we have begun to use a project and task management software program. We started using it last week and it allowed me to organize my tasks and have completed the majority of my tasks. The program is Manymoon, really saves lot of time and most important it keeps us focused. In this week that we began to use it, it has blessed us. God is really blessing 4C, growing us and giving us wisdom. If only I could use Manymoon at my day job :(

Jayden came over today and I am so excited. He and I played and had fun together. He is growing up so fast, he is already 4 months old. He is now interested in toys, he likes toys that have lights on them. His eyes light up as he examines the objects. It is so special watching life through his eyes. He is soooooo adorable.



Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Day 64-God's will


Two Days of being productive!

One of my goals to stay focused and on task. For the past few months I have had lots on my mind. As a result my work has suffered. My mind is full of thoughts of Chris and my mother. My memory is real bad. It is a challenge for me to recall most things. I have tried to save my mother and in doing so my work has suffered. I have been off work alot. Today the ethical team at the Clinic wanted to met with me regarding my mother. My mother had said she did not want a feed tube so I have to live with that and move on. Instead of going to the meeting arguing with a team of doctors, social workers and ethical people I decided to go to work. I will let the Lord fight this battle it is TOO BIG and STRESSFUL for little old me. The team was shocked that I didn't come, I am choosing my battles wisely.

My mom came home and she is eating. She requested Boston Chicken !! Praise God !!!
Pray that she continues to take in her nutrition so that she and rebuild her body and heal. Let God's will in her life be done.

My eating for the most part was good, I had a Naked Juice for lunch with a Amy's Mac and Cheese (soy). Loved it !!!

Someone close to me disappointed and hurt me today. It triggered some of my lost issues. I cried and moved on. I sought God first in every communication, this is real helpful. It keep me from really going off. I imaged what I could say and then I thought how this would impact our relationship. Harsh words would not help the situation. I will be more careful allowing this person in my life. God has shown me who they really are and until they grow some in their walk I won't me walked over by them.

This evening 4C had a meeting with a potential client. We are working with them to plan a special event. Stay tuned ladies this will be something you most definitely be interested in.



Monday, April 26, 2010

Day 63 - I Confess


Ok, Ok, Ok I Confess. I have had a few not so good days of eating. If you followed my early blogs, Day 1 to 40 you will notice that I dedicated special attention to and listed a new healthy food experience. I would even list a photo or two of items that I hoped you would also enjoy.

Well you haven't seen that lately. Why? Because I have been slipping. Now I won't post/share what those items were. But let me put it this way me and God know, and let's leave it as that. Well today I went shopping and stacked up on my healthy Naked juices, Amy's dinners and burritos.

Ok, now that I got that off my chest, I feel so much better lol

I had a productive day at work. I felt so good being that productive. It seemed like everything I touched turned to gold. I give God the glory and honor for this. I assessed one youth today, and placed another in foster care and one in the ITU. Awesome work. My supervisor complimented me and in an email she told me I did a good job. She is trying and I am trying. We are on the same page. I am trying really hard to be obedient to my new supervisor. I have been praying for a peaceful work environment.

My mother's situation will work itself out. My mom is the most loving person I know, but she has a stubborn streak. I am backing off and allowing her to make her own medical decisions. Pray for us !!


Sunday, April 25, 2010

Day 62 - Praise Him in Advance

I’ve had my share of ups and downs, times when there was no one around, God came and spoke these words to me, praise will confuse the enemy.

I started singing, I started clapping, I started dancing, people were laughing, they knew my problems, they knew my pain, but I knew God would take them away.

I have my share of ups and downs, times when there was no one around, God came and spoke these words to me, praise will confuse the enemy.

I started singing, I started clapping, I started dancing, people were laughing, they knew my problems, they knew my pain, but I knew God would take them away.

That’s why I praise him with my hands, that’s why I praise him with a dance, He’s given me a second chance, come on lets praise him in advance.

That’s why I praise him with a song, when things are right and when they’re wrong, He’s given me a second chance, come on lets praise Him in advance

Praise Him
Praise Him
Praise Him
Praise Him
Praise Him
Praise Him
Praise Him in advance

Today I went to service and I felt God's presence. Lord thank You for loving me no matter what, when I doubted you, you stayed around and renewed my strength. When I was mad at You, you calmed me and surrounded me with loving people to help me get through the storm. Today during worship and praise the lyrics spoke to me directly. It was if the words to this song were written for me, and from the reaction of other worshipers they were touched by the meaningfulness of the words. You are a good God no matter what you are worthy of the praise. I want to thank and praise you in advance.

Last night I attended the Carol Grossman award at the Science Center. Our CEO was present. I can best described her as being a tough, corporate, smart woman who has worked hard along side Mario to make Beech Brook the number 1 agency in Ohio. I will speak for myself in saying she well respected but last night at the award ceremony I gained a deeper sense of respect for her. In conversating with her I found out she was a woman of God. I had no clue. I would have never thought she would be pouring into me words of God. She allowed God to use her. I am use to people at work consoling and saying kind appropriate words since Chris' death. But she began to speak scriptures to me and told me God has a plan for me. She and I we were about to have church up in the Science Center. lol Praise God !! I knew she was a smart lady but now I feel even more confident that she has Godly wisdom and will use it to carry our agency through our financial storm. Overall Beech Brook has been super duper ! Shout out to Mark our clinical director who loves children and always works in their best interest. He donated monies in Chris' memory to Beech Brook Annual Fund. When I found this out it moved me to tears.

Ok, Ok enough about Beech Brook !! No seriously, I get upset sometimes about work, but overall our leadership is excellient, this is one reason I have remained there for 16 years. I love, respect and recognize good leadership.

Speaking of good leadership, Pastor James is the best shepherd ever. His vision is awesome, his teaching is on point. NCBF is so blessed to have him. I pray for him and his family as often as I can. That God will cover and bless him.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Day 61- I am Woman



It's a New Day, It's a New Season !!!

I am thanking God for allowing me to move into a new season in my life. Spring has always been my favorite. I love to rebirth and growth. In the spring I prepare myself for beauty as Spring does. I usually begin to power walk in the morning to prepare my body for the summer. The flowers, especially the tulips are ready to bloom, as I walk I notice them as they grow each day. God is amazing, he puts so much beauty here for us to enjoy. He has also put that beauty in women. Women are such beautiful beings, as I dress in the morning I watch myself evolve into a very attractive woman lol Now I am not saying this to be prideful, but in a Godly way. He designed us to be beautiful, strong, gentle, nurturing and caring. I praise God for this, I love being what God designed me to be. God continue to use me to bring other's to Christ and allow other's to see You in me.

Today my Uncle Calvin will be in town. Love this man !!! He is coming to see my mother, he is her baby brother and boy does she LOVE him. They have a special bond. My mother's father was very abusive to my grandmother. As a result my grandmother had to flee and the only child she was able t take was my Uncle Calvin. My mother and the other siblings lived without a mother for about 6 years. My Uncle Calvin had my grandma Bobbie his entire life. My mother missed her mother and Uncle Calvin. She reunited with her mother and Uncle Calvin when her father died. Uncle Calvin missed his siblings and when they reunited they clung to each other.

My Uncle Calvin has always been the responsible brother, who make sure his sisters are ok. He got to go to private school as a child, which was something unordinary in their times. He is a bright man and has always made wise financial investments. He has always been my mother's favoriate brother. She has 9 siblings and they have always been close, he is the last surviving problem. I can't wait until she sees him, she knows he is coming and she is excited. She knows he loves her.

Today was eventful, my Uncle, aunt and cousin were in town. We visited with my mom and she was so happy. She talked and talked and talked. She had such a good visit, I was so happy she was alert today and looking pulled together. She was in some pain but we got her nurse and got some medications in her.

Wow, Wow !! I went to the Science Center to support Terri D. my girl, she got the Carol Grossman award from the Heights Parent Center. It was a good time, her mother was there, her staff and our CEO from Beech Brook. My business partner Arlene is on the Heights Parent Center Board and she planned and executed the event. She contracted with Bro Damon and Sarah's Girl and the band was amazing as always. Stacey S. was the caterer and the food was fantastic. Terri's acceptance speech was so Terri, she is a humble woman with many talents. I was happy to share this evening with her, she has always been such a supportive person to me and so many others. She so deserved this award and any other that is given to this woman. I have known Terri for over 25 years and she has not changed one bit, from the first time we met while working at Case she was engaging and sweet. She does not have children of her own, but loves on so many children in her work. She has a God daughter that she adores and has raised and done a wonderful job. Terri is the kind of sister that will take her coat off, shoes off , but not her purse (insider) lol and give it to you. She loves the Lord and has been a blessing to so many.

I miss Jayden I have not seen my FAT FAT in a week. I will try and steal him from Ariel tomorrow at some point.

Hey I want to give a shout out to Nicole for Manymoon task management program. Awesome !!


Thursday, April 22, 2010

Day 59 - Favor, Grace and MERCY


I got through today with no major incident !

I am praising God for his favor, grace and mercy. God you have been so good to me. You cover me and provide for me every minute of the day. I want into work today knowing stuff was gonna hit the fan. I did not react impulsively I stop and thought about consequences of me acting a fool. I had to calmly take charge and submit to my boss. I am so glad I know the Lord or I would be unemployed this day. I could not let 16 years of employment go down the tube. Lord help me !!

I love to see the Lord work in me and in others. God gave me the words. Today in my supervisor's office God was so good to both of us. I realize she is doing her job and is new to it and wants our department to be successful.

My mother remains at the Cleveland Clinic. Please pray for her. Social workers wants to talk to me tomorrow about her discharge plan. Pray for God's will in my mother's care.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Rough Day - New Moon - DAY 58


This morning I prayed for healing and comfort for my mom. I did not go into work today so I could met with doctors and social workers regarding my mom's care. They could not find anything wrong with her other than declining health. They did not put IV on her because there was not enough evidence that she was dehydrated. The doctor called me this evening and said her iron is low and tomorrow they will run test. They may consider putting a feeding tube in her stomach. She was very quiet today and only said a few words, her voice was a whisper. I don't know what's wrong.

Right now I am a bit confused and need God's guidance and wisdom in this matter. The doctors want to give up on her. This is concerning but I don't put my trust in doctors. God's will will be done in regards to my mother.

After I visited my mom and talked to doctors I had spa day at Simply Chic, hair and pedicure. It was so relaxing I nodded out while my pedicure was being done. I had to treat myself to something relaxing and pleasurable.

I'm tired tonight. I may turn in early. I have been watching some movies. I am a fan of the Twilight series. I viewed New Moon last night, Love it. It is so romantic. At first I was torn thinking the movie was dark and satantic because it is about vampires. So wrong, it is romance and love gone over board. lol I plan to attend the opening night of Eclipse on June 30th. I am a Edward fan, he is so cool and smooth he has swaggert.


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Day 57 - Mama's smile


Mama woke up this morning talking and asking about my dear aunt Betsy who died over 20 years ago. This was about 6:30 a.m. , so we chatted about that and then she had two important requests. The first was I want to get in the chair and fix me some something to eat. These are things that my mother does not say. So I immediately gave God the glory he so rightly deserves. Then she took her medication without incident :) I hit a home run, a grand slam !

I was in total amazement. She sat in the chair, held her own cup and ate 1/2 scramble egg. Yeah, 1/2 egg is alot for her to eat. She sat in the chair without having to be propped up. It was so totally amazing I had to capture it in this photo. (left photo)

Ok, well ! Around 3:00 p.m. her caregiver called to tell me that my mom was not talking and that she was starring into space and not responding. I called her nurse practioner and I discussed her current condition and EMS was called. I left work and went to the Clinic. They had a team working to evaluate her current condition. As I walked in the doorway a doctor was blocking her view of me. Somehow she caught a glimpse of me and she smiled the sweetest smile. It meant the world to me. In her smile I saw my mother, my real mother. She has not smiled in months, but for that second or two she was my mom. That smile will be stetched in my mind for the rest of my life. Since Chris' death I pay attention to every detail. My last vision of Chris was him smiling at me from Ariel's car and they drove past me. I remember the whites of his eyes, the sparkle and the brightness of his smile. He actually waved at me, jokingly because they were passing me, speeding past as if we were racing. I thank God for those moments, those smiles we shared. I did not know that would be the last time I saw my baby boy. No regrets !!!

I know she struggling, but she loves life so much that she keeps trying. Throughout her life God has blessed her and continues to use her as his vessel. Her body is a frail shell of what she use to be. I know she is aware of her illness but she has never said the words I wish I were dead, or Lord take me. I listen, she has not given up and I have not given up on her and she knows this. She listens as I talk with the doctors and they try to figure out what's wrong. She lays there, and they tell her how blessed she is.

The professionals really want my mom in a nursing/rehab center. So they sent a social worker into her room to talk to me. She was a good social worker, but you see I am too. So I knew what she was working on. She spent an hour with me and by the time she left the room she understood, I LOVE my mother and I am really working in her best interest. She asked me how I was paying for home care, if I had Passport and I said I am paying. God has blessed me to be able to keep her home for now. I thank God for this. God works it out every Friday when I pay the caregiver. My mother knows I have discussed it with her. She is the funniest person I know, both my parents were blessed with the best sense of humors. Seriously !!! She said "Oh so you think you rich, ha", I smile and said yeah. I then told her you have worked so hard to take care of us your whole life you deserve to be taken care of. This silenced her humor, because she knows love, she modeled love to me. I know this is what she would have done. I know this is what God wants me to do.

Pray for us !!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Day 56 - Monday


Monday !

I had a really busy weekend so of course, I dreaded getting up for work this morning. I asked God for help, because I really needed to go in. I had quite a bit of work on my desk to complete so I can stay on schedule and ready for another evaluation. The Lord threatened me, from out of no where I got up and got my day started. Only God could energize me enough to get through this day.

Monday helps me appreciate Saturday and Sunday so much better. After I got to work, I was productive. Again, nothing but God, keeping me focused on what I need to do. I had to run several errands after work, so I was not able to do the gym and get home by 7 :(

I had veggie sushi for lunch it was good, I tend to have it about once a week. Tomorrow I plan to leave early enough to stop at Heninen's and pick up some Amy's burritos and probably a salad.

I got home and my cousin Floyd was waiting outside for me. He had brought my mother a cd player and some christian music. My mother is weak today, and not talking much, she is dehydrating again. It seems she cannot take in enough fluids to stay hydrated. As she listened to the christian music I saw her thin, fragile arm go in the air and move around she was praising God. It touched me, sometimes I forget she is an "original christian" and a former pastor's wife. For as long as I have known her she has loved the Lord and given him the glory in her life. In my mother's sickness she holds on to God.



Sunday, April 18, 2010

XO - Young Talent - Day 55










XO Prime Steak - Wow ! Wow ! Wow !

Happy Birthday Lisa and Ariel !!!

Today we celebrated Ariel and her mother Alisa's birthday. We had a wonderful time. Their family is really close and they support one another. I really got to know them immediately after Chris' death. They reached out to me and made me feel welcomed in their family. I see such similarities in their families as in mine. They are really close and nurturing to the young ones. They love Jayden as I do and enjoy being around him. He is a fornuate child to have loving family members on both sides. With Chris' death I gained a grandbaby I adore and a whole new family, really nice Godly people. Alisa calls Jayden Grand Boy he really loves her his face lights up when he sees her.

Since I have ventured into the event planning business, I pay closer attention to service, food and venues design. I give XO a 9. The private dining area which the manager comped to Ariel held up to 45 people. The servers managed the group with skill, food came out in a very timely manner, and it was absoutely delicious. I did not hear a complaint in the room. As busy as they were meeting all of the 45 individual needs my ice tea glass never went empty. One of the servers actually carried Jayden to the car for us.

There is so much young talent in Cleveland. Johnny MrHollywood Thirdboy who is known to facebook users was the photographer for the evening. He graduated from Heights last year with Chris. Ariel and I picked him up and all he had in his hand was one very nice camera. He calls himself "invisible". Ariel did not want alot of posed shots she wanted him to capture the guest without knowing they were being photographed. I noticed him a few times but he did his job as she requested. There was a really nice vintage car passing by and as the car caught our eye he had already snapped the shot. He is really reasonable and responsible. I plan to use him for a project on our website.

Another young talent was the cake designer, she is a recent Heights graduate. Ariel told her what she wanted and at first she did not know how to do gold icing. So she did what any good student does, she asked her teacher. I think she did an awesome job. The cake was super moist and delicious.

Now Ariel, who prides herself as being a fashion designer and event planner did a really good job. She got the private dining area of a 5 star venue for no cost. She designed the cake she dreamed of and got it made after talking to several cake makers, including White Flour Cake. Their prices were out of her budget so she searched until she got what she wanted in her budget. Her photographer is up and coming so he was reasonable. She coordinated her mother's outfit and her own. She had custom thank you give aways ordered for the guest. They were the M&M with pictures of her and her mom. Really nice touch. She just may be the next 4C intern lol. Her mother was surprised and very happy, all her work was worth it.

I photographed my dish it had pasta with garlic and butter sauce, muscle, jumpo shrimp, and scampi. Wow

I gave Ariel a special gift, when I saw it I had to get it. She, me and Chris understand.
Stay beautiful Ariel.

(for brunch I joined 4c my business partners for a meeting at First Watch)





Saturday, April 17, 2010

It's Saturday, It's Saturday !! Me Oh My It's Saturday !








This morning when I woke up I thought it was a workday and to my surprise it was Saturday. I was so grateful ! I stirred around the house a little then laid back down. I looked at my phone and discovered a text from my friend Sis Stephanie. She was reminding me of lunch to celebrate my birthday. We had not been able to connect during March but she did not forget. She is a good woman of God. During our lunch she witnessed about God's goodness and worked on convincing us to serve in any way we could to Young Lives. Young Lives is an organization that promotes empowering young teen mothers and pouring into them the word of God. Many of the young teens have powerful testimonies. They are in need of mentors and their club house needs some rehab work. Stephanie is passionate about helping others and she has a heart for these young single moms. There is an upcoming event "Big Bag Brunch", they will share information about Young Lives and there will be a silent auction for donated hand bags. GREAT IDEA ! I plan to attend, I went to one of there previous dinners and it was time well spent. If you are interested hit Sis Stephanie Herriott up on facebook or contact me, I can hook you up her or Esha, who is the administrator.

The ladies at lunch are ladies that I love and they have special places in my heart. We have histories together either through Life Groups, Choir and business. These are young women who inspire me and help me know God's goodness. I was pleased that they brought Kalia who I do not know as well. She is working to build a relationship with God and loves the Lord. We all had a wonderful time.

The food was delicious, but the service was slow. The manager explained that some of the new workers did not show. He only had himself serving tables and one waitress. He was OK, he made me a special drink for my birthday. It was gooooood. I had a Wild Mushroom Pita with unsweetened tea. Oh, how could I forget sweet potatoe french fries. Best thing going :)

Stephanie, I know you follow my blog, I pray you read today's blog. I appreciate your friendship. You are an awesome woman of God and an wonderful mother, daughter and friend !!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Doing Me - Day 53


I overslept this morning, I was so tired, I had Jayden last evening and he was not feeling well. He had gas on his stomach and he cried and screamed and cried. My partners of 4C helped me soothe and do a old school remedy. So this morning I was exhausted. I started my day a little behind schedule but made it to work only 3 minutes late.

I worked on paperwork and completed the assessment I needed to complete. I also started a new one and may need to do another this coming Monday. It has been busy, but this is good, our agency needs the numbers.

I picked up an outfit for workout during lunch. It is nice and comfortable. I went to the gym after work and did the treadmill and stationary bike. I plan to do the steam, sauna and whirlpool tomorrow after my work out. I will need to remember to take a bathing suit. I am enjoying Lifetime Fitness, I get as much or as little as I need per day. I occasionally see people I know.

I am enjoying "doing me" again. Little by little, step by step I am reconnecting with me. I first had to reconnect with God, the Fast helped with this. I am enjoying taking care of myself, I first began by changing my eating habits and now I have incorporated exercise.

Please pray that I will continue in this path.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Give Me My Flowers - Day 53



Give Me My Flowers while I yet live !!!

This a something that my friends have embraced. While we were in SC we did an exercise where we poured into one another. We took turns stating positive things to each other. The exercise was a surprise to us and it was assigned to us by Michelle. It was a powerful exercise and we found out how we felt about one another. Give me my flowers while I live is a statement my I have heard from my mother throughout my life. She was a firm believer in sharing her feelings with her family and friends. It helped to make better relationships.

Today while I was at work Michelle called me and gave me a flower. It was nice to know that the exercise was brought home. The flower pictured in this blog is a flower (name unknown) that was throughout SC. The bloom was amazingly beautiful. I have claimed this as my flower. The color is beautiful and it is our company's color.

I had good foods today, spinach/egg on whole grain bagel and Honest Tea. I had a salad for dinner it was very tasty. I am drinking more water, I like the Sobe water. It has added vitamins and a little natural flavor.

I worked out immediately after work. I need some new workout clothes, I will probably go in the morning and pick up two outfits :) I had a cardio workout which including 45 minutes on the treadmill and 20 minutes on a stationary bike. I worked up a good sweat. I plan to go back tomorrow. I saw Brandy as I was leaving the gym. She has a membership. I only plan to weigh in once per week. I will monitor my progress by how I feel, how much energy I have and if I can go up steps without getting winded :)

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Peace - Day 52


Jesus, please place PEACE in my heart and give me the correct Godly words to say. Please direct my thoughts; I want You to be my focus. Please don’t let me buy into negativity. I so want to be kind and not say hard words about others. Let the words that come out of my mouth, help another do the right thing and not cause them to negativity going.

I am in a place in my walk with Christ that I want to squash negativity. But Lord it can be so difficult for me at times. I don’t want to harm another with the word of my mouth. I believe the Lord is using me and wanting me to help stop the negativity. I need God’s wisdom in this area. I can’t feed into it any longer. I have a lot to be grateful for and I am working on building a stronger relationship with God.

In my walk with God I have been able to see people as people and not hold them to high standards or put them on pedestals. So when I see others, falling short it does not surprise me. No one is perfect, God is working on all of us. Even when we choose to confront other’s God has outlined how we should do it. When I have struggle in a relationship with friends, and wonder what to do, I say to myself will this help or hinder the relationship. And will I regret what I say or do. If I have not intentionally done something then I struggle with apologies because I don’t feel I have done anything wrong, but even in this if they feel offended it should be addressed. I am asking the Lord for help.

Today I am going to the gym, this place is the bomb. I get excited about going. Sabrina plans to meet me there with Shi-Ann and Lisa. This will be so much fun, the girls have such high energy, it will be fun to see them in the gym.

My mom’s caregiver has said my mom did well today, she ate some egg and cheese and asked her to cook some spaghetti. Praise God ! Let’s pray this continues.

My foods today include, egg/spinach on whole grain bagel for breakfast with peach tea. I had a late lunch, I used my lunch break to do some shopping at TJ Maxx, they have such nice things. I also placed an internet order, exciting !!! I am feeling so much better about me, I can only truly help others if I take care of myself first.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Day 51 - Lifetime Fitness


I woke up this morning with a prayer in my heart. I gave honor and praises to God. I feel stronger in my relationship with the Lord after the past. Then the vacation right behind it left me spiritually and mentally in a much better place. I so want to be physically in shape so this afternoon I joined Lifetime Fitness. It is the best facility I have ever experienced. Over the course of my life I have been a member of several gyms. This one has everything, cafe, spa, two indoor pools, one outdoor pool, full service day care with qualifed caregivers, basketball court, rock climbing, and tons of exercise equipment. The staff was friendly, warm and engaging. I love to walk so I used the treadmill, I started off gradually with little to no incline and under 2.0 miles.

I weighed in at the gym. I did not like what I saw, but it was the truth. I needed to face the truth. Now that I have the truth, I will move forward with an aggressive plan to get in shape. I have never been able to lose weight without working out. I need the combination of reduced calories and physical workout. I have always had to put a focus on working out. I disliked how living a healthier lifestyle has always consumed so much of my time/energy.

I live in God's will and be obedient to Him. I need direction has to what plan needs to be in place for my mother. The nurse is feeling she needs to be in a nursing home. I want to keep her at home. I need to know God's will in my mother's life. I love my mom and want to make sure I am working in her best interest. They want to put a feeding tube, my mom had a feeding tube in December and she pulled it out. Lord please guide me and keep me open to Your will.

Today I ate a salad and banana/strawberry smoothie at the gym. The salad served as my lunch and dinner. As a snack I had Bare Naked with Almond Milk. I did not have breakfast which I should not have missed.

4C had a meeting with a new client today. We want to help this client put together the type of events that will build her business.



Monday, April 12, 2010

Fantastic Birthday Weekend Day 50



I apologize for not posting my blog yesterday. When I woke up I watched the sun rise on the ocean, it was beautiful. When I walked onto the balcony to watch it closer there sitting was Latoya reading the word of God. Watching the sun rise and her in the word reminded me that there is a true and living God. I am so thankful that God has surround me with friends that love and honor the Lord. We spent the day celebrating our friendships and justing loving on one another. We prayed, talked, laughed, ate, sang, cooked and danced.

In The evening we spent quality time being transparent with one another. It was God that placed us in that room to express and pour into each other. It meant alot to me to pour into my friends and to receive what they poured into me. As we packed to leave this morning we continued to pray and pour into one another. It was the beginning of something real special. We allowed God to use us. We also poured into the two tweens, Symone and Nataia. They are special treasures, little women of God. I am so glad Symone joined us as it is important that they nurture their friendships.

We did so much and talked about so much. And it was special because we did not do any male bashing. We focused on God and not man. There was no room for bashing. We are all in special places in our lives.

I did eat off of my vegan/vegetarian diet. I will resume healthy eating habits tomorrow :)




Sunday, April 11, 2010

Paradise - Day 48


























Day of Friendship and Fun !

Last night we prayed for traveling mercies and this morning we arrived safety at Latoya's doorstep in South Carolina. We listened to old school music while we traveled to SC. We talked to Michelle periodically to keep her company as she drove. She drove through the mountains of West Virginia with no incident.

Seven divas dressed in two bath rooms and were able to do it in a timely fashion. Nicole and I drove with Latoya to the store and we got to see some of SC. The city is beautiful and Nicole says the new developments look alot like Atlanta Georgia. We shopped for snacks and picked up some bottles of wine for later in the evening. Michelle made each of us breakfast and we appreciated her efforts.

We ventured out to Mytle Beach, which was a 4 hour drive from SC. We arrived and checked into our hotel, which has 2 bedrooms, dining area, sleep sofa, full kitchen, and living area with 2 baths and a washer and dryer. YES !! Real nice. We were excited about our nice accomondations and began to take photos. We walked about a mile to the carnival so the girls could enjoy themselves.

We are still very mindful of our new healthy eating habits while we vacation which is tough. I would say on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being really bad and 6 being super, we got a 3 1/2. What I will say is What goes on in Mytle Beach stays in Mytle Beach, lol. Enough about good right now. On our walk back to the hotel we walked on the beach, they we walked into an area where the beach ran out and we had to walk through water to cross to the other side. WELL this is where all ------ broke out. Takeema made it across but was soaking wet. I was a total mess, I can't swim so I freaked out. Screaming Nicole help me! She was trying to figure how to help and while she was Latoya and I ran the other way leaving her and Michelle. It was funny crazy !!! We fought for our lives and managed to make it back to land. It was so funny, you had to be there. I don't mess around with water. We then had to walk a mile back to our hotel. We walked and walked and walked. I thought we would never reach our hotel. As I reached our hotel my legs were burning and I was so happy to see our hotel which was pure Paradise.

We then came to our room and got divaifed for our 5 star dinner which Latoya selected. Each one of us have unique styles and it was interesting seeing the finished product, absolutely classy ladies. Symone and Nataia have their own preadolescent thing going on with their fashion and looked so sweet. We got to our restaurant and everything flowed so nicely, we were seated quickly, service was excellient and our food was served very timely. We had good conversation and took more photos.

In addition to this excitement, back in Cleveland my cousin Lisa was being married. I had relative from Michigan and Grand Rapids at the wedding. They SMS me pictures of the wedding and of Jayden at the wedding. How exciting. Dominique was in the wedding and looked all glammed out along with Credessa, they rocked.

This was a busy day, we have another exciting day planned for tomorrow. I am so glad I came.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Heading out - Day 47


It’s snowing, what better day to head for the Beach !

Vacation ! Relaxation ! Warm Weather ! YES !!!

We plan to have an amazing time. Today I am thanking God for friends. God friends are a treasure. I have been surrounded by good, supportive people in my life. I praise God for them. Friends that check in on me, call and have a listening ear. I try to be a good friend to others also. I do know sometimes I can be insensitive but I quickly redeem myself. I accept my friends for who they are, sometimes I may not like things they do, but I love them.

There was a time in my life when I was not liked by women, especially my early college years. I was a diva but not a nice diva. As president and founder of CSU Vikettes I had many haters. I did not try and earn their respect, I had a none caring attitude. Today I strive to be a DIVA (Divine, Inspirationional, Victorious, Annointed Sister) so hopefully my friends see my heart. God is working on my heart daily. I want to be given of myself and honest. God is able.

My food for today was good, apple for breakfast. Salad and small pizza with pineapple for lunch. I will pick up Aladan’s for dinner on the road. I am going to the grocery store after work to pick up fruit for the road.

Well, my blog followers, I am taking my Apple with me to the beach. Hopefully there is WiFi and I can continue blogging. If not I will catch up next week. I am sure I will have stories to tell :0
Oh yeah we upgraded to a mini van we gonna have a good time. Lots of room !

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Oh Happy Day !!! - Day 46


I had a blessed morning. I asked for prayer for my family and friends. I thanked the Lord for another day on this earth to do his will. God has been so good to me, much better than I am to myself. I give him Honor and Glory !!!

My work day was somewhat productive, yesterday I completed and evaluation, but today I could not find it in the system. I did not let this shake me, I started it over. My supervisor is out today and tomorrow I pray she has a safe trip.

Oh Happy Day - what makes this a good day is that it is the day before my vacation. I am so excited, this morning I stopped at Walmart again and got travel size hygiene products. At lunch I went to the Mac counter at Nordstrom, and got new shades of eye shadows and a lipstick. I praise God for this because a month and 1/2 ago I did not care about myself not enough to pamper myself. I basically got up, took care of my mother, went to work, came home, took care of my mother and went to sleep. That was that living in my purpose. When I take care of myself I can help others. I am alive and accepting God in my life, making him my focus.

4C has a meeting this evening. We have lots of planning to do for our clients and we want to also plan our annual summer event. Arlene has lots to do as our CFO she has to get contracts ready then approved by us. Right now she has several contracts to itemize and write up. We praise God for this new territory.

My foods today were good, I had oatmeal and an apple and juice for breakfast. Very satisfying. For lunch I had a Amy's Burrito. Fish was my dinner meal with water. Yummy !!!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

SPA DAY - DAY 45

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY !

TODAY I GOT UP SAID A PRAYER AND GOT READY FOR COURT. I ASKED THE LORD TO GIVE ME STRENGTH AS I FACED MY SON'S KILLER. I ASKED HIM TO GIVE ME THE RIGHT WORDS TO SAY TO THE JUDGE AND TO HIS YOUNG MAN. WORDS THAT WOULD NOT HARM HIM BUT BRING HIM CLOSER TO GOD. I DO HATE COURT, MY HEART DROPS IN MY STOMACH WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE JUSTICE CENTER. GOD'S WILL WAS DONE AT COURT, THE JUDGE GAVE HIM THE MAXIMUM SENTENCE FOR A B MURDER. B MURDER MEANS YOU WERE INVOLVED IN A ROBBERY WHICH RESULTED IN A DEATH.

Maximum sentence is 10 years and gun charge is 3. Total of 13 years, it is not alot of time for murder but he did get time. I have closure, I am grateful that there were witnesses that identified the two young men and that the police made arrest. The young man looked remorseful and I told him I forgave him and asked him to do good with his life. His mother took it hard and has alot of anger, she told me that her son did not kill my son. The prosector's office asked to stay until his mother, family and friends left the court room. I will pray for his mother daily that she will work through her anger as I work through my grief. Individual need to know that their actions affect others.

Ariel went to court with me. She is so faithful, she really loves Chris. She has been there for him through thick and thin in life and in death. I pray that her life will be blessed and that she knows God loves her and that she will do God's will in her life. I love sooooooo much ! Best daughter in law ever !!!

After court Ariel and I went to breakfast. Now check this out ! We were driving past a restaurant named Angela and I misunderstood this to be Angie's the well known soul food restaurant. NOT !!! The food was awesome, tasteless and the service was poor. I took a few bites of grits and I ate my rye toast and left the other food. Which is ok because it was an undercooked veggie omelet. Awful ! Ariel's said her waffle tasted like stryofoam.

I had asked Juanita my hair stylist if I could come in early because I was off work. She called me around 12:00 and asked if I could make it at 2:00. I was thrilled this meant I would have time to have a manicure and pedicure. So I had color done in on my hair, manicure and pedicure. It felt so good to be pampered after such a stressful day. Juanita has a new assistant and this young lady does a good job massaging my scalp as she washes it. A good hair wash is priceless. My business partner Michelle was there doing Sis Sylvia's make up for a photo shoot. Sylvia looked amazingly beautiful and she felt beautiful. She was beautiful from head to toe. I look the atmosphere at Simply Chic it is pleasant and you will always see a familiar face from NCBF. While there I walked to the Fish restaurant on Cedar near the shop and got broiled Tapalia and orange juice. I ate it in the shop while I waited on my pedicure. Juanita's shop is doing well, she is a good manager. It was good and non fattening.

Prior to going to the Simply Chic I found a few more items for my vacation. I got a vacation floppy hat to wear on the beach, with some funky big earrings. When I wear this hook up I will upload pictures. I did some more packing, coordinating shoes, outfits, jewelry etc. I am taking too much, but I would hate to not have what I need. Diva has to have what a Diva has to have.

After I settled in my daughter called for me to pick her up from the rapid on Superior and Euclid. I rushed down, I don't like her down there at 10 p.m. at night. We had good conversation about her job that she loves. She is an advocate for Working America. She was at a rally today protesting the closing of Hugo Boss, Danny Glover was there and she took a picture with him. I will upload the photo. She was able to have a conversation with him and she said he was really, really nice. I am proud of her she fights for the rights of others. Working America played a big role in the presidential campaign and they supported Obama's political ticket.

Two more days until vacation !!!





Another Beautiful Day




This morning was more beautiful than yesterday. The sun was shining but it was not so hot, I felt a breeze throughout the morning. I woke with my mind on the Lord and His love for mankind. I awoke and as usual I checked on my mom and she did not look well. My cousin stopped over before she went to work and we ran an errand together. As we rode the lab called me to say that when they came out yesterday my mom dehydrated and they were not able to draw blood. At that point I decided to have EMS take her to Cleveland Clinic.

I went to work and my mom went to the hospital. I knew she would be fine and I prayed a prayer of protection. Later in the morning the hospital called to gather updated info on my mother's history. A few hours later a nurse called to tell me my mother was crying and very confused. She put my mother on the phone and I was able to help her by assuring her she was ok. I went to see her after work and as I walked in two doctors were entering. I had arrived just in time to hear the plan. Lord's willing I plan to go on vacation this Friday. I need the relaxation and getaway.

Tomorrow the 2nd young man that murdered my son will be sentenced. I am not looking forward to this at all. I am glad this is it, this will finalize the court preceeding and close this chapter. The prosecutor wants me to talk about Chris and what he meant to us. God will give me the words.

I ate well today, Juice for breakfast, Amy's Burrito for lunch, I brought a few more Burritos during my lunch. For dinner I had veggie Sushi, delicious. While at the hospital I brought a eggplant sandwich. I have decided I don't like the texture of eggplant. I won't get it again. I also had a glass of orange juice and water.

Jayden came over and spent the evening with me. He is something else. He is so lovable and sweet. I love him. My niece Kesha and her husband stopped over and we visited. Donna, Ms. Honey's niece stopped over and Kesha attends Donna's exercise class at Bailey's. We talked about healthy eating and exercise.

I continue to pack and plan for my vacation. Keep me in prayer.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Oh What a Beautiful Morning, Oh What a Beautiful Day... Day 43...



This morning I got up bright and early and got ready for work. I left the house 10 minutes early so I could run an errand and enjoy the sunshine. My morning at work was productive, I cleared my desk of some work from last week. By mid morning the enemy thought he better come on and try and steal my Joy. I received a text which initially rocked my world and hit me the wrong way. I felt I was being taken advantage. I responded in the flesh :) but before I pushed clear instead of send. I retyped the text in a Godly manner. I need and want to maintain this relationship so I needed to send a reply that would not harm the relationship. It worked out, I then called the person and talked it through and after a few minutes they texted me a thank you. Now that's God, because I wanted to go there real quick. I had to remember the scripture that said be angry but sin not. Holding the memory verses in your heart really helps.

By lunch time our office was hot and muggy, I gave thanks to God for the sunshine that I had adored earlier in the day. I tried not to complain too much about the heat. I used my lunch hour to do some of this blogging and to mediate on the Lord. Unless I go out for lunch I eat at my desk and surf the net or write. I want to use some of my lunch break to read the word maybe go into a quiet space to read and pray.

After work, I went shopping for a few items, I picked up some items I needed for vacation. Yes vacation ! The closer it gets the more excited I get. I found some really reasonable PJs, they look like old lady PJs but they will be comfy. Well I guess I am an old lady, NOT ! I am looking forward to our fellowship and hanging out on the beach.

My breakfast consisted of fruit juice; apple, orange, strawberry with celery and spirulina. I chose not to put greens in it. Lunch was special I tried the Black Bean Buritto, this is a must have. I am now a fan of Amy's Burritos, it was sooooo good and tasty. It is about 280 calories. I had a Naked Berry Juice and that was enough. Oh, for snack I had baked barbeque chips. I also drank Tazo Passion Ice Tea that I made that morning. It was a nice treat and a replacement for PEPSI. I cannot go back to my PEPSI addiction. There is lots of sugar (poison) in PEPSI. I am substituting various teas and smoothies.

Dinner was delicious I made a portabello panani with soy mozarrelo cheese and tofu. I enjoy the texture of portabellos and tofu, great combination. I forgot to put some type of dressing in the sandwich, balsamic would have been nice, or I could have dipped. I had a glass of Passion Ice Tea and I ate an apple. Never would I ever thought I would have an apple as a side dish lol God is so wonderful.

I need to pick up a few Any's frozen meals tomorrow and some Naked drinks.

Chat with you tomorrow 111

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Resurrection Day - Day 42




Happy Resurrection Day !!!

He has risen !! He has risen, indeed !!

Today represents the resurrection of Christ. This entire weekend our church as celebrated the resurrection. Our church as termed it as the "Main Event", clever but so true. When you break it down Jesus is the Main Event in our lives. Nothing else compares to Jesus' death, burial and resurrection. This weekend was so special, I love the Lord and love our Christian fellowship, that we could come together and celebration Jesus' life. Pastor James does a great job teaching us and showing us how we can apply the Word in our lives. I am so blessed to be in a congregation of believers who love God and one another.

I had my fruit juice this morning. Since the Fast my stomach holds a small much smaller amount of food. This is a good thing. My had some pasta, with tofu and portibellos. It was really, really good. My mother got her appetite back today, I was pleased. But now that I am thinking about it, I did not give God the praise that he needed for this. She asked for food but is still very particular. She is still Olivia :) She is regaining strength.

This evening I went to see Why Did I Get Married Too. I give praises to Tyler Perry for putting together films that focus on family and marriage. I enjoyed the movie right up until the last 10 minutes. I was disappointed that Garvin died. Oops, hope I didn't spoil the end for anyone :) Both I am still a big fan of Tyler Perry's work. I spent the remainder of the evening praying and resting.

May God continue to Bless You !! I am so blessed, blogging/journaling really helps me release my feelings.



Saturday, April 3, 2010

Day 41 - The Main Event





The Main Event

I praise God for this Saturday morning !! A morning of peace and quiet. My mom is resting and I got to sleep in a little later, no work today ! I am looking forward to the Celebration at NCBF today. My morning has been in preparation for today's service. I want to be blessed by the service. I have talked to a few people who went last evening and they were blessed. I pray souls were saved.

The Celebration at NCBF blessed me soooo much !!! I wished I could have went to Friday Night but I am pleased I was able to make it today. The whole program blessed me so much, Shi-Ann preforming in the drama skit was awesome. The choir was amazing, my favorite song Don't Cry was a real blessing !! Don't cry, dry your eyes, he's not dead. So why does it bring me to tears every time I hear it or sing it. This song takes me to a place where I really think about Jesus and being alive. It's like if someone you loved so much was dead and they came back while you were really misses them. I think about how I would have felt if I had been there at his resurrection as one of his beloved followers.

Pastor Jame's shared the word, so that all could understand !! He truly allows the Lord to use him. He really broke it down so that vistors could receive. I pray that many gave their lives to Christ.

I made my fresh veggie/fruit juice and a cup of Tazo Wild Sweet Orange tea, and it is quite enjoyable. I have given my mom her meds, she took them without much complaining :) A deacon from her church called and scheduled a time to pray for her. She needs this and she will be pleased to see someone from her church family.

After the service, Nicole, Diane and Ashley and I went to Lola's and had a wonderful dinner. We had great conversation, fellowship and food. We then went to the Chocolate Bar for desert. Yummy, Yummy, Yummy!! I am back on track tomorrow.

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday the Main Event.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Breaking the Fast - Day 40



What kind of man is this?
Who died for me and set me free,
Tell me what kind of man is this,
Who died for me and set me free.

What kind of man is this?
Who would leave His heavenly home,
And...come down
And come down,
To give His life
For sacrifice,
Just to save a...wretch like ME


That's Love !


Forty Days ! Forty Days !

Lord God I thank You for today !! You have done great things. Lord I give You the honor and the glory for all the days of my life. You have grown me, given me patience and strengthen me in my walk with You!

I have so looked forward to this day, not just so I can resume my old eating habits, but because of the Good Friday Celebration. I am looking forward to Celebrating Christ with my church family. I am going expecting a blessing. The service will be awesome, I just know it, because we all know and love the Lord our Father and God will be there. God is so looking forward to our celebration. I have invited a few guests and prayfully God will bless their souls. I am praying that all that come will bring their love for Christ and express themselves through worship and praise and accept the word of God.

Today my last day of the fast I had to remind myself of God’s sacrifice. This reminder got me through a difficult lunch. My coworker’s were ordering out and the menu did not met my vegan needs. I became a little frustrated, and was feeling sorry for myself that I had to eat my Amy’s frozen meal. As I walked to the microwave, the thought of Christ on the cross rushed through my head. His sacrifice was sooooooooooooooo much greater than my little lunch crisis. It also reinforced in me that the enemy does not give up, my other 39 days were not has hard as today. The enemy was trying so hard to get me to surrender. I then remembered the fast that I went through as I grew up, we would not consume food for 3 entire days, drinking water only. So, I stop being a cry baby and womanup and represented Christ who sacrificed for me and you. I got it on day 40. Simple but I really got it.

I was not able to go to the Good Friday Concert tonight, I did not have anyone to stay with my mom and she needs 24 hour care. A friend of mine exchanged ticket with me, she had a extra and someone she knew needed one for tonight. So I will be going to Saturday's celebration. I will spend this evening with my mom praying and giving her water and jello.

I picked up my dinner from Aladdin's, a Falafa wrap, fruit smoothy and a slice of coconut cake. Yes cake this was my breaking the Fast treat. The meal was perfect, I did not over indulge, the meal was really special.

Today a marketing genus designed a header for my blog !! I love it, if you every need any marketing help contact Sherita Simpson on Facebook.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Fasting and Praying - Day 39



Jacob Family Reunion - Sept. 2009


Family is so important, they play an important role in one another's lives. They can be helpful or they can bring drama. Thank God my family is pulling together and being helpful. Today, my mother’s caregiver, Amber started. She will be in the home M-F from 11 a.m. til 7 p.m. This will give Dominique an opportunity to work outside of the home. My dear cousin came over to morning to orientate her, because I need to get out to work. Sometimes I love family, and today is one of those days. My cousin has my back for the serious stuff and I have hers. She loves my mother and wants what is best for my mom. So when I was looking for someone to serve as my mother day time caregiver, she started the search. Amber is like family but not family. She is my cousin’s girlfriend. She seems to be kind and considerate and was excited about the job. We negotiated a fair salary and everyone is pleased. My cousin stops by the house periodically to check on my mom and will continue to do so.

My daughter put the job opportunity on Facebook and had several applicants. I am very fond of facebook, but this is my mom J I was leery about her approach, so I put the call out there. My mom is ok as long as she knows you are family or church family. This morning I was in prayer regarding Amber and NCBF Good Friday celebration. I pray this arrangement works out best for my mom and our entire family. Dominique has been the day shift for my mom since December and she now wants to venture back into the real workforce. I applaud her and appreciate how she has stuck in there with my mom and her grandmother. Without Dominique my mom would have not been able to come home and would be in a nursing home.

I spent some of my lunch hour at Miles Market picking up fresh fruits and veggies. I picked up some veggie Sushi for my lunch !! This is my special treat my new found treasure. After work I went to Heinen's and picked up some water and a few items for my mom and Ms. Honey. I brought some homemade soups from Heinens for my mom. Then I ventured to Whole Foods and picked up the Kaas Mozerella cheese and a Amy's veggie steak frozen meal. I ran into a friend there it's always good to see a friend.

My mom and her daycare provider got along well. I pray she gives my mom enough fluids during the day. My mom's nurse practioner called and said my mother's blood level is 400 which is double what it should be. On Tuesday it was 200 which was perfect for her. She suggested I cut out the blood thinners until her levels come down. I can tell the difference in her either she is effected by this or she dehydrated. Since I got home I have given her water, protein and a spoon or two of soup.

PLEASE PRAY