Fasting and Pray - Day 38

Really Nice Day !!! The sun is shining warm and bright. It is a really beautiful day. I remember the day I blogged about my foggy day. Those foggy days make me grateful to God for sunshine. When I think about all that God has created, I know that He is real. I want to thank God for thinking enough of me to create me. Each and every one of us are special and unique. Sometimes when I see others with more than me or prettier than me I fight off my feelings of jealously. I do this by telling myself God made me this way for a reason. I want to honor Him by being satisfied with myself. Because when I am not I am ungrateful to God. God gave his son for me, what a sacrifice !!! I go into Good Friday with a heart of gratefulness.

This morning I did not have to go in until 11:00, what a blessing. I was able to get my car sticker. This was such a easy process, all I had to do was show my driver's license. Really easy! Then I went to Target and did some shopping for my vacation. This was a beautiful and productive morning.

Of all the assessment I have done in my 15 years, today was one of the ones that touched me in a special way. Daily I work with children who have been neglected, abused and abandoned by their parents. By the time they reach me they have most likely been removed from their parents either county has temporary or permanent custody. Most of these children have been bounced from relative homes to foster homes repeatedly. Well today an austic child was moving from a stable 4 year placement to a new foster home. The foster parents were not willing to adopt him. The foster parents are relocating and he had to move. This child does not understand what is being communicated to him about this move. He does not know this will be his last look at his family. These parents seem to be really good foster parents they know him inside and out. They chose to drive him to the new home in hopes this would help him. The foster mother commumicated this youth's needs to the new foster mother. As I sat and watched him I prayed for him that his transition will be a good one. I prayed that the new foster parent will embrace him with patience, understanding and love. If she is overwhelmed with his behaviors he will have to move yet again. Most children like him are in State group homes. I know I serve a good God that will protect this child and heal his broken heart as he looks to seek the love and routine of his previous family. God please bless all the motherless children.

My mom had a really good day ! I praise God for everyday she is with me and that she is comfortable. I switch pharmarcies and her medications and the last 6 prescriptions have been free. My mom's prescriptions are very costly. One prescription is $150 for 5 days of injections. When the cashier that 0 charge, I confirmed the price with her and she said the insurance covered it. I don't understand but I feel blessed by it. I am constantly refilling prescriptions, because the doctors sometime change dosages, or add on new meds. This drug store is right around the corner and it even has a drive through. God is working !

I am feeding my mother whole foods, she does not eat alot anymore, maybe one real meal a day so whatever goes in her body has to be good whole foods. I make her fresh juice instead of store brought. I went to Aladains (sp) and got her some homemade lentil soup for dinner. She ate alot of the soup. She even told Ariel that the juice was real good and I made her another helping. She took her medications without incident. Jayden came over and brought new photos and she was thrilled to see him and the new photos. My mom is real ill and I treasure each day she is at home with us. She loves us so much. Ariel, Dominique and I were playing a Wii game Just Dance and she laughed at us, and moved her arm as if she was dancing in her hospital bed. That was a treasured moment for us, one we would not have if she was in a nursing home. Dominique has been caring for my mother while I am at work. Dominique is going back to work tomorrow, so we hired someone to stay with my mom while we are working. I pray this individual is patient and does the best job possible. I am trusting God to work this out.

My foods were simple, Amy's tofu lasagna, homemade peppermint tea, whole wheat bagel. Juice for breakfast. Dinner I had a wrap from Aladanin (sp). It was good to the last bite.

Fasting and Praying - Day 37

I had an opportunity to gossip and I passed on it, I love the person too much !! That was the God in me . Everytime I had the urge I thought about how it would not be Godly. No matter how I rationalized it, it just wouldn't be right. I was pleased that I allowed God to use me in this matter. God is growing and stretching me ! The enemy was not allowed in to defeat me and possibly destroy another.

I want to draw even closer to the Lord this week. I am focusing more on the Lord and being obedient to his word. I want to be a clean vessel for the Lord to work through. I want God to cleanse me through and through. I am looking closely at myself and asking for God's help in areas that I know are not pleasing to Him.

I had wanted to get up early enough to go for a walk. I slept right through it. My goal is to begin walking daily for at least 45 minutes. I need to build my endurance. My body so needs a good workout, I need to flex/stretch and walk. I need a routine either in the a.m. or p.m. and stick to it. We will start the wii fit and wii Just Dance game this week.

OK, OK, my food is not exciting today. Because again, I had Amy's meatloaf, and peppermint tea. I don't have anymore in my freezer so I have to do something different tomorrow. I am think of things I will take with me on vacation. I need to take my juicer or purchase a new NAKED 100% juice drinks and take my spirulina to mix in the drink in the morning. This will be easier than packing up the juicer. I will take some healthy snacks along also. I pray wherever we go there will be healthy choices.

Fasting and Praying - Day 36

This morning I woke up knowing I had additional responsibilities at work. Two of my coworkers are out so I am being stretched. I asked the Lord to give me strength to prioritize my day appropriately. Only God can work this out for me. Lord please show favor !

I complain about my job from time to time. I have a new supervisor who I was not digging ! I had to pray to God to help this working relationship. She micro manages alot. And my thought was how could SHE come into a new job and tell us what to do. After all we know the job, right. Well I had to reflect back to Pastor James sermons on respecting authority. This helped me alot. Also I realized she is trying to be successful in a new job and is doing what she feels she needs to do. I stop taking it personal. Now after a few months she is cool, things have mellowed out. I spend alot of time at work, and I need it to be somewhat pleasurable.

April 1st I will be employed at Beech Brook for 16 years. I praise God for this is where he put me. I have worked for Beech Brook with no incident. Our agency has grown drastically over these years which has helped maintain our employment. I praise God for placing me where I can help children and familes. My job is to screen referrals to make sure they are appropriate for our residential and foster care program. I then evaluate the child, diagnosis and move on to the next placement. Our agency stresses excellience for our clients, and they strongly numbers. The numbers keep our doors open which allow us to help more children. I pray special blesses for Beech Brook ! They have always supported me no matter what I have gone through, the good and the bad times.

I guess what my point is that I appreciate my employer. I am in a helping field and so I am working in my gifting. God put me in this job, and I have never felt threatened because of a layoff. Most employee's I talk to about Beech Brook realize our CEOs are top notch in the field, well respected and our agency is ranked very high in mental health agencies in the state of Ohio. Our leaders have a love for family and children and are always developing programs to keep our agency from laying off. All managers and supervisors of Beech Brook took furlows in which they sacrifice a week off with no pay. I tip my hat to them for that and respect them even more.

I met some really good friends at Beech Brook; Sabrina Hammond, LaVisa Bell, Terri Davis and Tahila Hill. Sabrina and LaVisa are members of NCBF. Sabrina invited me to NCBF and I will always be grateful to her for this. It's really nice to have church family in the workplace.

I am getting real excited about the Good Friday Celebration. I miss worshiping in choir, I will be back soon. After the celebration I plan to go out and celebrate with a few friends. I am expecting good things this Good Friday.

Food today for me was simple, juiced for breakfast, frozen Amy meals for lunch and dinner. It was one of these days. It worked for me. I made peppermint tea last night and took some to work, I will make more tonight. It is replacing PEPSI very nicely. Thank you Lord !!

Fasting and Praying - Day 35

Father God give me peace today, let me not give in to fears and self doubt. Give me the peace that surpasses all understanding. Lord you did not recreate the spirit of fear. Direct my path today and from this day forward.

My day began as I quietly watched daylight come into my room. I debated whether I would come to service today. The enemy won that battle :( Sometimes it is difficult for me to do all what I do and then get myself ready. This morning my pace was slow and I stayed in with my mom. We talked and I feed her a couple meals and made sure she got enough liquids. Tomorrow I will get her some water with electrolytes. I praise God that she did not have much pain today.

I wrote this on Chris' facebook wall:

Remove Hey Chris, I think about you everyday, yesterday was my birthday and I thought about the smile, hug and card you would have given me. I miss you ! I dreamed about you last night, the last conversation we had was you teasing me and asking to drive my car. Well in my dream I gave in let you drive and you ran the car off the road, I laughed and laughed and laughed. You still make me laugh !! Love you baby boy !!
That was the best birthday gift ever ! After I wrote it I went into the kitchen and I was very emotional. I don't cry often but when I do.......... well Lord thank You for sending him to me in my dream.
Today was a slow day for me I see how important it was for me to go to church !!! I would have been in the right place to bring my spirt up.
I ate healthy today, I made my juice for breakfast. I had a cup of peppermint tea. I am boiling water now to make some peppermint ice tea. For lunch I had tofu Stir Fry and popcorn as a snack. Dinner consisted of Kashi cereal with almond milk.
Lord please give the strength I need to move forward.

Fasting and Praying - Day 34

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to meeeee, Happy Birthday to me!

I want to thank the Lord for allowing me to be here another for another birthday. God you are so good to me. Lord you created me and all this earth and I give you honor and praise. You are my Father and I want to be obedient to your word. I want to live the life you gifted me being obedient to your will. Lord I recognize you are everything !! Thank you!

This morning I got up happy, happy, happy ! I did not have any plans for today. But I knew my grandson would be arriving within the hour. So I got my prayer in and made my veggie/fruit juice. Jayden, my mother, my daughter and I spent the morning together. It was so peaceful and relaxing. We just hung out and enjoyed each other's company. My friends started calling and texting bright and early. It is nice to be remembered. I was invited to lunch by my friends/business partners. We went to Liquid Planet because the menu meets our fasting dietary needs. We had good conversation and ate really good foods.

After that me and a friend went to the grocery store and got in our healthy foods. We continue to encourage one another during this fasting period. Praise God !!! God really blessed me with wonderful family and friends. While at the grocery store I picked up some Passion tea, I love it. I also got Euclid Beach Popcorn, and a Kashi and Uncle Sam cereal which I will mix together, and I got almonds to add with it. I will use my Almond Breeze rice milk. Yummy!

Fast and Praying - Day 33

'Enjoy the beauty of today and the essence of beauty you are becoming. Take action today!

This message was texted to me this morning by a woman I have never met, but she knows my testimony and was led to send it to me. I was so encouraged by her text that I thought I would share them with those that read my blog. It was not one of the generated texted or emails that we get throughout the day, it was something she wrote just for me. I was so blessed by it. I encourage all of us to encourage one another when you are led. In a business meeting with a client last night she plans to give her husband a birthday party. As part of the party she wants his friends to express their feelings for him. She said she wants him to have his flowers while he is living. These are words that we have all heard, but she really wants him to hear what others have to say about his him.

Support, Encouragment and Serving Others

“Serve one another, we pray for one another and we come together to pray”
I have found this words to be true of my NCBF family. God has provided us with a shepherd that encourages us to love on one another. And to stay in prayer for one another. We speak life into one another.

During this fasting and praying season I have been blessed to be amongst Godly people who have encouraged and supported my efforts. I pray I have blessed others through my example and words/blogging

Lunch was my favorite; Amy's meatload meal. I just love it. It is defintitely comfort food at it's frozen food finest. I did a little window shopping for my upcoming vacation. I should be ok with clothes, but I may need some salads or more flats. I am digging flats right now, they are comfortable for work. I notice I am drinking decaf tea more and more. I especially love peppermint or mint blends. This morning when I wrote my grocery list it was the first thing I listed. I am thinking maybe I will replace tea with my extra bold roast coffee. Just a thought :0 I will see where this goes. I do love the peppermint tea from Trader Joe's. I think I will make some ice tea right now. I need a nice refreshing drink. I am grateful to God for taking away my desire for PEPSI.

It's Friday night, I'm feeling alright !! Today my JUST DANCE dvd for Wii arrived. I know what I will be doing tomorrow.

Fasting and Praying - Day 32

Happy Birthday Business Partner and Happy Anniversary 4C Event Planners . Check out www.4CEventPlanners.com , you can also become a fan on Facebook.

I am lifting up praises to the Lord ! Halleluiah ! Throughout this time of fasting and praying I have been feeling a little anxious. Like something is bound to go wrong. The better I feel about my relationship with the Lord, the more the enemy is trying to make me feel insecure and fearful. I am asking the Lord to fight this battle, I am getting stronger and the enemy wants to be his vessel. The enemy does not want me to go through this foggy season and be renewed. I do know when I follow Jesus’ path for me I am more loving, patient and all together a better person. This is the person God created me to be. God wants me to have an abundant life. So I want to lift God up in praise. He serves the Highest Praise !! Halleluiah !

This morning I made myself and my mother some juice. I did not put green veggies in hers as she is on blood thinners. My cousin came over before I went to work and we did some discussion about her daughter’s wedding. It is getting closer and we are all so excited. For lunch I had my favorite Amy’s meatloaf meal. I had wanted to eat a Amy’s pot pie but it has to be cooked in the microwave. By the way Heinen’s has some Amy’s dinners 2 for 9 bucks. I need to stop at the grocery store this evening, eating healthy keeps me in the grocery store almost daily. My daughter has begun juicing : ) So I pray that this way of eating will rub off on her.

4C met at Aladdin's on Cedar to celebrate Arlene's birthday. She is a strong woman, dedicated to our business and our client. She is a strong woman of God and a wonderful CFO. She strives to be Godly while putting together contracts. Our meeting was productive because we called a new client on the phone to determine her needs and another prospective client met us at restaurant to discuss plans for her husband's birthday party. Really wonderful woman, she loves the Lord and family is important to her. 4C is celebrating 1 year of keeping our client's needs first. We are growing, learning and allowing God to use us. She is a strong woman of God and a wonderful CFO.

Today was awesome, I got to experience a new restaurant. Aladdin's has vegetarian and vegan meals. I had lentil soup, fruit smoothie, tropical storm smoothie and a cup of tea. The prices are really reasonable. I was impressed by the service, the young man accomodated us and did not rush us as were were there for 3 1/2 hours. Because I was impressed with his service and the meal was so reasonably priced I tipped him nicely. As I was leaving the restaurant he came from behind the counter and said "thank you so much, I appreciate it". That was nice the service in a restaurant is critical. It was good to have dinner and not leave stuffed my meal was just enough. Praise God !

Fasting and Praying - Day 31

ME Time !

I took full advantage of my mom being in the hospital. I got lots of ME time. Most of the ME time was spent in devotion with God and getting rest. My mom is scheduled to come home today and I have the energy to care for her. My mom has been on antibiotics and IV with fluids so she is energized too J I praise God for this. I guess we both are functioning at a higher level. I am anxious to see how she does at home and I continue to pray for her comfort. Her legs no longer hurt with such intense pain, the doctor said the blood clogs were big and caused great pain. I asked her yesterday if her legs hurt and she said “not at all”. I almost broke into a holy ghost shout. When my mother hurts I hurt and to know that pain has been resolved, I am so grateful to God !!

On my way to work, I stopped and picked up Veggie Sushi in brown rice, yesterday they sold out so I got wise and picked it up first thing. I saw a sales lady in the store who I had not saw in a few months. She asked me where I had been and I explained to her that my son had passed on. She gave me some encouraging words and told me only God can heal that type of hurt. She explained to me that her son had died suddenly a few years ago. She told me if I needed to talk she was there for me. It helps to have someone who has walked in your shoes.

I am at Simply Chic Salon, one of my most favorite places to be. I get a chance to have my hair styled and chat with Ms. Juanita. I am thinking I need a change, with Spring right around the corner, but I have no idea. Ms. Juanita is planning to color me at my next appointment. I know it will be nice. The timing will work out it will be right before my vacation to North Carolina.

I am so looking forward to traveling with my friends to North Carolina to visit Latoya. I am beginning to think about what I will take and putting items aside to pack. I picked up a travel like bag today. I pray we get some sunshine and have a wonderful time.

My breakfast was veggie/fruit juice, lunch was sushi and lemonade, dinner I am thinking I will make another veggie panani sandwich. It was delicious, filling and I need to use up my veggies before they go bad. I love that I can drive throughout the city and not pull into a fast food restaurant. My hunger for food has decreased considerably and I eat on a schedule and I may have a small snack at work. I never feel starved anymore and desperate to eat. The unhealthy made me feel heavy and blotted and I would get hungry within a hour or two.

I spent some of my lunch hour at TJ Maxx, well they have 2 nail polish package of OPI for $6.99. There were colors I most definitely would use I a picked up a pack. Ladies we know we pay more than that for just one bottle. What a simple blessing. I love to find a REAL bargain.

God I thank You for today !!

Fasting and Praying - Day 30

Getting through the fog !!!

I woke up this morning, well rested, it felt great. I give honor to God for waking me up this morning and starting me on my way. I don’t take this statement for granted. I truly appreciate each day that God gives me on this earth to do his will. As I drove into work, I drove down a wet, foggy path. I compared the foggy road to my life. I said I know God is gonna lift this fog today so that we can see clearly, as surely as I know within a few hours the fog will lift, I trust and believe God plans to lift the fog covering my life. I know behind the fog there is beauty and the sun will shine again. God is trustworthy, He is reliable !! I don’t know exactly when the fog will be lifted but I trust that it will be lifted. As I write this I believe it. The fog in my life gives me a better appreciation for the sunshine.

Today has been real good for me. Why, NOT because God has poured financial blessing on me, but because I know and believe God loves me. I want God to know I love Him, I show Him love through my obedience. Obedience is difficult, my submission, doing what He wants. As I move through the fog, I stay focused on Him, keeping my eyes on the road. Knowing he will guide me through the fog, when I listen.

I find myself shopping at Miles Market more and more for my fruits and veggies. The freshness is guaranteed and the prices are wonderful. I got a large bag of about 15 extra large oranges for $1.99, a pack of blackberries for .99cent, 2 packs of strawberries for $3.00. I brought extras so I can freeze them for my daily use. I had never froze fruit, so I did my research and it is simple.

------Wash, dry, put on cookie tray without them touch, place tray in freezer overnight. Then put them in freezer bags.

After I visited my mom in the hospital, I was tired and thought I would drop by Liquid Planet for a rice bowl. I asked God for strength enough to come home and cook. I was able to make it home and cook. I have lots of food at home in the frig, it is running over so why spend extra money. I got some really, really good whole wheat loaf bread freshly baked from Miles Market. I cut a reasonable size and began to make a veggie panani. My ingredients included, eggplant, peppers, purple onions, portibello, alfala sprouts, zucini (sp) soy mozarella cheese, garlic and pesto seasoning. I grills the veggies then put it in the panani press. It was the bomb, the Soy cheese and the portibello was my favorite in the sandwich. The portibello has a meaty texture.

(Excuse my spelling errors, it was late and I am sleepy :)

Praise Report - my mom ate a whole sandwich and fries today. She will be home tomorrow. She was fussy today so I know she is feeling better :) Oh, yes it is has been 30 days of Fasting and Praying. This is significant !!! To God be the Glory !!!

Good night I have to and wash a load of laundry.

Fasting and Praying - Day 29

I sleep straight through the night. I praise God for giving me what I need when I need it. Yesterday, He gave me rest. God loves me and cares for me in a way that no one else can. I love that He knows me in a special way that no one else does. I sleep so well that I almost overslept this morning. I knew I was exhausted but didn’t know really how much.

Jayden spent the night last night with his mom. This was great, I held him for awhile as he sleep and prayed over his little fat self J My side of the house is coming along well, I have a small cleaning crew who is breaking down the rooms so Ariel and Jayden can move in. Them moving in is a true blessing, I know God is good and hears my prayers.

I put together a really nice blend of greens; cucumber, celery and spinach and fruit; apple, orange, grapefruit, blackberries, pineapple, strawberries and carrots to be juiced. I put it over ice and drank it as I dressed. I took my B Complex and multi vitamin with my juice. It was delicious.

My work day has been full, I prayed throughout the day for my mom, who is still in the hospital. I pray that she is comfortable and resting well. I pray for the doctors and nurses that are caring that they will be patient with her.

Today I selected a new veggie, Eggplant. I have asked for recipe from a friend and fellow vegan. I will decide what I will make with it within the next few days. I am lean toward Eggplant Lasanga. I am soooo excited that I am trying foods I did not grow up on. As an adult when I go out to restaurant I usually order safe, not branching out trying new foods. This fast is giving me opportunities to try things I usually turn my nose up at. I love it ! Thank you Lord !

Ingredients: Eggplant Lasagna

• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 medium eggplant, diced
• 2 10 ounce packages frozen chopped spinach, defrosted
• 1 64 ounce jar pre-made tomato sauce
• 1 pound lasagna noodles

Preparation:

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Heat the olive oil in a medium frying pan over medium heat. Sautee the garlic for two minutes, then add the eggplant and stir. Cover the frying pan and cook until the eggplant is just tender, about 5 to 7 minutes.

Cover the bottom of a 9x12 inch baking pan with 2 cups of the tomato sauce, then cover the tomato sauce with 4 or 5 uncooked noodles. Cover this with a thin layer of sauce, then add the cooked eggplant and another thin layer of sauce. Add another layer of noodles followed by a thing layer of sauce, then the spinach and another thin layer of sauce. Add the remaining noodles and sauce.

Cover tightly with foil and bake for 45-50 minutes. Noodles are cooked when they can be pierced with a fork.

Try this recipe with me and give me your feedback.

Fasting and Praying - Day 28

Giving God the Glory for a new day, a new beginning. Yesterday, I stayed in the house relaxed, prayed and spent time with my mom. It was good I did because God for preparing me for today. This morning I had to call 911 once again, she was transported to Cleveland Clinic and she was admitted. They will be running some tests and may be released tomorrow evening. This time last year my mom weighed 225 lbs., today when they weighed her in she weighed 119 lbs. WOW I have never known my mom to be under 200 lbs in her entire life. Pray for her strength.

I was not able to attend services today, so I missed the word :( I will pick up a cd from church next week. Sunday's Word gives me a jumpstart for week. Now I must make sure I do my devotions and stay in the Word and prayer.

Every step I took walking to my car I felt. I was physically exhausted. When I got home I layed down and slept solidly for 4 hours. Thank you Lord !! I did not even cook dinner. I ate here and there at the hospital, they had fresh squeezed orange juice, nuts, decaf passion tea (Starbucks) yummy.

The staff at the hospital were really kind to my mom, since she had been discharged from that same floor last than a week ago. They all remembered her and welcomed her back. She told me that the staff were really nice to her. She comforted me, and it was God's way of telling me to go home and get the rest I needed. Later one of the nurses dialed my number for my mom so I could talk to her and assure her that things were ok. My mom dementia has really kicked in and she needs reassurance of things.

Thank you Lord for providing me with a really good support. God covers me all the time with love. He shows His love for me through his people.

Oh yeah, Jayden spent the night with us last night. He is really growing and I thank God for blessing me with a sweet little grandson. He smiles when he sees me and his smile warms my heart. Lord you were looking out for me before and planning for me before Chris' death. I thank You Lord !

My birthday is next week I spent some time thinking about my life and I thank God for giving me the gift of life. While sitting in the ER I was surfing the net and found a really nice custom jewelry maker, I order a few pieces for my birthday. Check it out (picture shown above). I also found a clothes designer with really unique garments. I didn't order any but put I few pieces in the shopping cart :)

Fasting and Praying - Day 27

Calling on Jesus !

At 1:30 in the a.m. I called 911 for my mom. While we were in the ER my mother called on the name of Jesus. She called his name for 1 1/2 hours straight. There were two other people on either side of her and I although she was calling on the name of the Lord I asked her to quiet down. The man on the other side of the curtain overheard me and said, "no,no as long as she is calling on Jesus, I don't mind if she keeps me up". As I listened to my mother, she would say things like "Jesus you said you would help me", "Jesus you care about me" "Jesus I need you now". Throughout her pain she called on the Lord and reminded him of his promise to her. I knew she believed what she was saying, she trusted God.

The nurse came to me and said we can give her antibotics and she can take them at home or we can send her to skilled nursing/nursing home. Praise God there was not another hospital stay, she had just been released from Cleveland Clinic on Tuesday evening. I told the nurse I would care for her at home, she wants to be home and we want her home. She is the matricarch (sp) of our family and has been the rock of support for her family, friends and church family her entire life. She has cared for relatives and church family when they were ill, feeding them, toileting, sitting, rubbing their heads, you name it she has done it. Her life's work has been caring for the elderly as she was a private duty nursing assistant and facilitated a group home in her home. So I want her to be cared for at home as long as possible. She now refers to me as mama and tells me "you are a good mama". If you ask her she will tell you I am her daughter for the attention I give her is like a mother to a child. I praise God for allowing me to help her as much as I can.

My mom taught me to love others, so how could I not love and show her love. All that is good in me she modeled. She always loveddddd people. Now she will tell you about yourself but when she tells you something you better look out it is the truth. I remember as I grew up she would always dress me up pretty and tell me how pretty I was, even now when I'm dressed and want to know the truth about how I look I walk past her and she will tell me. She will tell me now that's a nice outfit, and it's not cheap. She hates cheap clothes:) , you need a slip on, or your dress is too short, If I ask is it too short and she say "no" then it's cool. My family calls her the "original Diva" , I call her the "Head Diva".

I watched my mother put me first always. She encouraged me to go to college and get my master's. She said to me I don't want you to have to clean "white women's kitchen's and babysit there kids". She meant that and she did whatever possible to make sure I finished college. She has always been my biggest cheerleader. Dominique, my daughter is my support now we back each other up keeping my mom. She loves her grandma and is very kind to her, when we look into each other's eyes we are connected in our love for mama.

My mom had not eaten since Tuesday evening due to her infection. The infection takes away her appetite and turns her into another person. She is confused, defiant, combative, you name it and extremely weak. At about 2:30 this afternoon, it took 4 of us to convince her to take her new antibotic. After taking it she gradually began to open her eyes and make small conversation. At about 6:15 I made an awesome tofu stir fry. The odor circuluated throughout the house. She stirred around in the bed and said "what did you cook", I said Praise God, Praise God. Now she didn't want something that heavy but I made her fresh juice with an orange and an apple with ice. She took the cup from my hand and said "this juice is good". Praise God, she drank the all of it. I praise God for the little things and the big. All things are significant and I thank Him.

Fasting and Praying - Day 26

Ephesians 5:15 encourages us to 'be very careful how you live, making the most of your time.' Each and every one of us is going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith..

Lord I wake up this morning with my mind set to do Your will. We are expecting nice weather today. For this I praise God, the sun is shining brightly throughout my house. I am expecting God to bless and strengthen me today. God covers and loves me and I believe this. God I give You all the glory, because I know it is You that has brought me through. Lord continue to bless my mother and thank You for giving her comfort. Bless my family and friends and pour into all of us as we pray and support one another.

SUSHI - OK, I spent my lunch hour at Mile's Market selecting various fruits and veggies for my morning juicing. As I was leaving I saw the most beautiful display of various Sushi. There was a chef there to answer questions. I told him I was vegan and it pointed out a Sushi with brown rice, mushroom, carrots, avocado, cucumber and fresh ginger. He answered all my questions assuring me there was no seafood in my Sushi. He told me it was made fresh daily and to eat it today because tomorrow it would be strong. I have been missing out on the most delicious delicacy. I LOVEDDDDDD it, I absolutely LOVEDDDDDD it. The Lord is really opening me up to adventure out and try new things that I have turned my nose up to. I highly recommend sushi to everyone reading this if you have not already done so. I will be visiting Miles Market more often.

After work I went to Simply Chic Salon (photographed above) and had a wonderful pedicure and manicure. It was relaxing and I felt pampered.

I attended Friday Xpressions with my buddy Stephanie and it was a real blessing. The environment was comfortable and appropriate. The various artist stepped up to the stage and gave God the glory. We were able to worship and praise God. The mix of artist was nice. Deacon Myron lead us in worship and we had CHURCH up in Arabica. Liza allowed God to use her and she SANG her heart out, I could go on, everything was wonderful.

After I got home my mom's condition had not gotten any worse but it was not better. She still was not eating and she was weak. I called 911 and she was taken back to the Cleveland Cleveland. Lord continue to do Your will in her life. It is difficult for me to watch my mom suffer, God give me what I need to get through this. To God be the Glory !d

Ephesians 5:15 encourages us to 'be very careful how you live, making the most of your time.' Each and every one of us is going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith..

Fasting and Praying - Day 25

Day 25 – God woke me up this morning and started me on my way. I started my day giving God the glory. My mom looks ill again, so I pray for her, she is comfortable and not in pain. I thank God for this! Her nurse discussed my mother's condition with me and I listen carefully. I seemed to understand what she was sharing with me and I am praying God’s will in my mother’s life.

I seemed extra organized this morning. This is a sign that God is working in me. My mind had been so scattered and I can follow and complete tasks. Organization is a gifting that God has given me. I was able to care for my mom and myself this morning. This was my first morning using my juicer. I used the following; orange, apple, pineapple, blackberry, banana. I did not put the Spirulina in the juicer I added it and shook it. The juicer works well, except it does not work well with bananas, this fruit is too soft and did not work its way through the strainer. I put it in a container with a lid and ice and shook. I took my vegetable based vitamins. This breakfast was a good choice. The juice instructions suggest no meal with juice. It was satisfying. I will put some veggies, such as spinach, etc together for a evening drink. Recipes suggest cabbage, carrots, spinach etc.

After making this juice, I did some shopping before going to work. This is soooo me, thank You Lord for returning me to me. I pray that in doing this You will guide me to a even better me and You will get the glory. I want to remain a vegan/vegetarian. I am enjoying this lifestyle. I am reading a book, that is helping me realize how eating animals affects the animals and seafood. I am enjoying the approach because the focus is not so much how eating animals harms me, the book is sensitive to them.

I have a long day, so I am asking God’s to give me the strength needed to be productive throughout the day.

Praise Report - Today one of my coworker’s celebrated her birthday with cake. I had a urge to want to make excuses as to why I could celebrate and eat the sugar, and Lord you brought me back and keep me focused. I so want to be a light that shines a vessel for God to use. My coworker’s know my sacrifice and they know me, they know I LOVE sugary foods. So

I took out my orange and ate it while they ate cake, GOD THAT WAS NOBODY BUT YOU.

Fasting and Praying - Day 24

Praising God for an Abundant Life !!! I thank You for the gift of life. You created me and I want to honor You. Today I am pleased with my life. I thirst and hunger for Your love. I want to keep my focus on what You would have me to do. This is important to me !!

I am praising God for a day of peace. I resting in God's peace and trusing Him. I feel wonderful, the Fast has allowed me to really take a look at myself, inside and out. I feel good, I can't say it enough. I am rebuilding my relationship with God and I want His presence. I am smiling today from the inside out :) I feel radiant and prayfully look radiant.

My spent most of my lunch hour at Whole Foods, I brought some Agave Nectar (natural sweetener). What makes agave superior to sugar? Sugar is a processed sweetener that has no nutritive value, other than calories. And agave, as compared to other sweeteners, has a desirable low-glycemic index. This means that when consumed, it won’t cause a sharp rise or fall in blood sugar. I put some in peppermint tea and it was delicious.


I also brought vegetable based vitamin B complex, and multi vitamin. Since removing meat which has B complex vitamins from my diet and taking on vegan lifestyle I must replace B complex vitamins. I also brought Sprilina (sp) to include in my a.m. smoothly. Spirulina is a type of blue-green algae that is rich in protein, vitamins, minerals, and carotenoids (a type of antioxidant that can help protect cells from damage). It contains nutrients, including B complex vitamins, beta-carotene, vitamin E, manganese, zinc, copper, iron, selenium, and gamma linolenic acid (an essential fatty acid). The sales associate said it will even help reduce my appetite. The bad thing, it will turn my beautifully colored fruit smoothie, GREEN. Oh, well !!

Fasting and Praying - Day 23

Veggie Sandwich, whole grain bread, hummus, tomatoe, alfalfa sprouts, cucumber slices, minus the cheese. I have fallen in love with alfalfa sprouts, they have turned my nose up to them for the last time. I have had alfalfa sprouts twice this week, once in a panani and last night in a sandwich like the one above. But it had much more alfalfa. It was really good. The saponins in alfalfa sprouts may help to reduce cholesterol Alfalfa sprouts are a great source of vitamin K too.

I want to thank God for allowing me to think about what I am putting into my body. I think about if it is healthy to my body or if it is harmful and base my decision/choice on that factor.

I talked to a NCBF member today and she shared with me that a woman name Free came to their life group and talked about healthy eating. She discussed healthy eating habits and did some juicing in the classroom. I have emailed this woman to see if she would be willing to do a consultation with my friends and any others interested. This would be awesome, she has lots of knowledge. She even makes her own almond milk, cool !!

I must say the Lord is really working with me daily, I look forward to blogging and have not had difficulty finding topics to journal about. I pray that whoever reads my daily blog will be blessed as much as I am. I look forward to packing my lunch daily. I love finding new foods or foods that I have frowned on and realize I like it and may possible love the foods.

New wonderful find is Kaas cheese, EXCELLIENT. I melted it on my tofu scramble and I am a Fan. Absolute Fan. I will be melting it over everything :)

"Trust God with all your heart and lean not onto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Fasting and Praying - Day 22

Bright Blue Masacra - wrong, wrong, wrong

Day 22 - I know, what does masacra have to do with Fasting and Praying. Well, I am trying really hard to improve my self image, Fasting and Praying is #1. !! I'm working the inside so I thought why not buy some new make up. I had read alot about Dior Mascara, so on Saturday I went into Nordstorm I purchased some items from Mac Cosmetics then strolled over to the Dior counter. Now I have never paid $25.00 for mascara, NEVER !! So this was an important purchase for me.

The sales lady was not very pleasant. I wanted water proof mascara, I need it for Sundays worship when I am crying out to God and giving Him the Glory. Simply purchase, right ! WRONG! Sunday morning I pull out my new $25.00 mascara and it is BRIGHT BLUE !!! I am stunned, then I think OK it is fufu so maybe it's goes on blue and dries black. So I put it on and it stays BRIGHT BLUE. Well I am disappointed but I am focused on not allowing the enemy to take my Joy. I don't have time to take it off, I hope and pray Ariel who is waiting for me outside in her car has BLACK macara, well she did and it worked out. Then enemy wanted me, I wanted to be able to worship God, cry and give him glory without the enemy sneaking in and saying hey you got black eyes stop being so stop crying. Enough said !!! It's over, problem solved, I called Nordstrom today and they will return it. There is nothing too big or small for God !!
(Only problem was when I returned it I made two purchases from the Philosophy counter :)

God has been good, yesterday as you would recall, my mom would not eat or take her meds. Well this morning I called the hospital and the nurse said she took her meds and ate alot of her breakfast. I thank God for this, I felt helpless and exhausted. We have been through this and I had hoped she had moved forward. I pray she continues to eat and take her meds so she can return to our home in a day or two. I thank the Lord for everyday we have together. I pray for the doctors and nurses that are caring for her that they are kind and patient with her, and that God gives them the wisdom needed as they make decisions and treat.

Again, this morning I had tofu scramble. Delicious ! Delicious ! The protein tends to hold me until lunch time. I do not crave for meat, but I still desire lobster tails :) As I go through this Fast I am asking God to have me continue in this healthy eating lifestyle. The foods are good for me and I feel lighter. I need to add a serious cardio routine to build my endurance. Power walking is my thing, and I will add Zumba if at all possible.

I returned to work today and everything so far is alright. I had been off since last Wednesday. I saw Sabrina and she looks wonderful. She did such a excellient job caring for her mother. I understand her journey with her mom so much better now. I looked to her as an example of how to care for my mom.

Oh, yeah today a coworker warmed up chicken in the microwave, and I disliked the smell. Yep, I disliked the smell and this particular coworker is a really good cook. This is a sign of better things to come. I am praying that God will take the desire of meat from me.

Fasting and Praying - Day 21

It was wonderful to be in the House of the Lord !!! Today's word was awesome. The word encouraged my heart. It was Teen Focus Sunday and we had an annointed soloist. He sang God is able. It is good to see young people using the gifts God gave them. I am excited about the upcoming Good Friday concert. I got tickets and have invited some family members.

Today, a friend and I checked in on my mom at the hospital. Her doctor called her "onry" she is refusing to take her medications and not eating. After visiting her we went to Liquid Planet Cafe and had an enjoyable meal. We are realizing there are several alternatives, many we just are eliminating cheese. I had brown rice, black beans, lettuce, salsa. I did not get the cheese and sour cream. I would have been tastier but it was fine without the dairy. Another friend met us there and had meaningful conversations.

We then ventured to ball rooming. It was good to be back !! I had not been in a year. I remembered all the basic steps in the beginners class. I danced a few times during open dance and found myself getting winded, which lets me know I need to work on building my endurance. The overall experience was good. Saw familiar faces, and the Ballroom staff make you feel comfortable and are encouraging.

My friend gave me some dried garlic. They are really tasty and different. Day 21 was wonderful. It was a well balanced day !!!

Fasting and Praying - Day 20

Well today is here Day 20 and I hunger and thirst for the Lord !! Seeking out what God would have me to do with my life is critical. I have to follow God where HE leads me. Trusting HIM to love me and not lead me astray.

I began today thanking God for family. I woke up with my grandson in my arms. Praise God !!! He woke up looked at me and laughed. I treasured that moment in his life, he saw the sunlight and was pleased for a new day. We played until he tired himself out and he fell back to sleep !!!

God is so good !!! He gives us what we need to carry on. When my son died God reminded me of his love for me by leaving me a grandson to love. God is an almighty provider he knows what I need before I even need it. My own experiences in life are teaching me to leave things to God. No need to worry, God has the plan and he works it out.

This morning after playing with my grandson I made a tofu scramble. DELICIOUS. I cut up green and red peppers, onions and cooked it with the tofu in olive oil. Then while I was going up to my mother's hospital room, I stopped in at ' au bon pain' and got a multi grain bagel toasted (no butter) and a banana. I need to increase my water intake and so I purchased some lemon juice which will give it some taste and someone told me it helps detox the system. LET THE EXERCISING BEGIN !!

I was excited to write my shopping list and prayfully I will be surprised by other choices at Whole Food. I have been pleasantly surprised by the frozen Amy's vegetarian meals. They come in handy for lunch. Today I purchased a juicer so I will be making fresh juice in the morning. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah !!! I need to research some juice recipes. I brought some veggies so I can make some panani. I also picked up some fresh baby spinach to add in my tofu scramble for added iron. My friend Michelle encouraged me to purchase black seedless grapes, she said they had more nutrients, so I did and I am so glad I did they are delicious. They make a really good snack. In addition to food shopping I picked up some Diva items :)

I was out doing alot of running today and never once did was I tempted to stop at a Fast Food. Praise God !! God is awesome !!

I hunger and thirst for God !

Fasting and Praying - Day 19

Closure ! The attorney explained to me that the trial would help me bring closure to Chris' death. I don't know about all that but I want it to be over. Today I had to testify telling the Jury and Judge about Chris. I think I did a good job, I was not nervous and it did help me, I could have talked about his memories forever.

Wow !!! It's coming to an end, the lawyers made closing statements today.

After court I went to see my mom. She is amazing she was full of life , eating and talking. More of her usual self. We had a wonderful lunch together, Ariel and I went to the Cafeteria at The Clinic. I got a veggie panani and orange, DELICIOUS, I could have eaten two but I didn't. I was not expecting it to be that good, even the cafeteria staff that served it to me sort of turned her nose up. I must admit I was a bit embarrassed but I stood my ground, listened to God's voice and took it. My mom has not had a desire for sweets in 5 months, she asked me for a candy bar, I got her a dark chocolate bar, and prayed she did not notice the difference. Ariel had a turkey panani, she loves good bread so it pleased her.

We sat and chatted about our new addition to the family, Jayden and other family issues. My second cousin is having a baby and we are praying it is a girl, she already has two really cute boys. I think we secretly want Jayden to remain the baby boy in the family.

This evening me and some friends had an unofficial ladies evening. We began to learn some Zumba exercise moves, discussed healthy foods, discussed supplements, and just had a really nice exchange of resources. Ms. Honey's niece Donna is a RN and is a vegetarian and teaching body sculpting at Balley's. She is very resource along with Michelle H. who knows has a healthy lifestyle. Really nice. Oh yeah and to top it off Jayden was over, his God mother stopped by to visit. We really had fun.

My daughter Dominique and I came together and agreed on something that was very important. She loves her grandma !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fasting and Praying - Day 18

Keep it movin ! I started my day early, in preparation for work or court and ended up in the hospital with my mom. The prosecutor may need me in court at two o'clock and he may not, God will work this out. My mom has another infection in her leg, her mental status had changed and she had loss her appetite. On top of that she asked to come to the hospital. Then I knew, because she absoultely hates the hospital.

At one point this morning I wanted to collaspe, I wanted to scream, hollar and breakdown. My grandson was there with needs to be met too. Thank God I know Jesus. I focused on the tasks I had before me. Throughout all this I took the time to recognize God. He got me through it.

God placed the importance of me in my heart. Recently I have not wanted to wear makeup and not taking good care of me. Just sort of going through the motions. Throughout all the chaos I put on a little makeup, ate a bowl of oatmeal, packed a healthy lunch to take to the hospital, forgot my multivitamins, point being God got me through it.

I recognized I did not have to be right there with my mom with the ambulance, God was with her. I stayed behind for about 45 mintues and got me together. One of my favorate sayings is "Keep it Movin", God allowed me to do this. When I got to the hospital she was being cared for and she had an IV and they had already drawn blood and knew she had an infection. I love Cleveland Clinic, God put it in me to send her there instead of UH where there ER is more hectic. Cleveland Clinic, 'Keeps it Movin'.

I hope this blesses and helps who ever reads this. Writing it surely helped me. Lord I love You so much, I am grateful !!!! I love you through the good and the bad. 'Count it all Joy'

The smell of fresh brewed coffee is flowing through this ER, HELP :) For a liquid treat I went to the cafeteria and they had v Fushion and fresh squeezed orange juice, I mixed it together with ice and it was totally amazing.

What shall I have for dinner ?

Fasting and Praying - Day 17

Lord thank you for Peace !!! Today my son's attorney asked me if I had control, total control what would I like to see happen. I had an opportunity to show compassion and I showed SOME. I asked for 15 to Life with an opportunity for patrol in 15. So we will see if they accept the plea. The alleged non-shooter will receive 13 years. There will be a possible trial and sentencing for both. Pray for my family and the families of these two adolescents.

Today I had a lot of time to reflect and think about Chris. I tried to approach this with a positive attitude, and I did my best. I felt the support of many throughout the day calling and texting to show their love. I have not talked about this court date much because I only found out about it last Thursday. I kept it in prayer as much as possible. I am glad to be Fasting and Praying as I face this season in my life. Without the Lord where would I be. I am not angry, Praise God!

Yesterday I drank a couple glasses of V Fusion on the rocks. It was ok, today I mixed 1/2 orange juice and 1/2 V Fusion and it was much better, still not PEPSI. But it is full of vitamins and veggies. So I sacrifice the bubble, fizz and sugar for this tasty good veggie blend. It is far better than a V8. Thank you Lord for creating such nice alternatives to PEPSI. I still want PEPSI......and Starbucks (extra bold roast)

Today I had only an apple for breakfast as I hurried to make it to court. I had a veggie sub on whole wheat for lunch. It is very good and satisfying.

I continue to pray as God leads NCBF forward in this time of Fasting and Praying. Lord we need a BREAKTHROUGH..........................

Fasting and Praying - Day 16

"Precious Lord take my hand and lead me on" Lord I am looking to you for guidance, and wisdom. Lord I need strength to carry on.

Today has been a real blessing !!! I am grateful to God for surrounding me with caring friends. Lord you are amazing !!! As each day goes by I feel stronger, I enjoy your presence Lord, stay with me !!! Thank you Lord !! As I go through Lord be with me. 'I count it all joy". I missed my joy :)

I read the first chapter of James which is my favorite this morning. I needed to read it again.

Today I started off my morning with a bowl of oatmeal. I loved it as a child and I continue to LOVE oatmeal. I loved it more when I could put butter, cream and sugar in it :) But it still remains good. Oatmeal takes me back my mom making us breakfast, it was also my grandmother's breakfast of choice every morning.

For lunch I had two vegan burittos, they were good, (ok, not real good) :) I continue to have fruits as snacks and will include lemon juice in my water today. I am improving my water intake gradually. My multivitamins are kicking in.

A month from today I go to see Latoya H. I am praying for sunshine and relaxation. This is a much needed vacation and it will be shared with good friends. I have lined up a responsible nursing assistant to care for my mom.
Praise God !!! I love you Lord !!!

Resource : Really Nice meal plans - I see some interesting combinations of healthy foods !! I will update.

clevelanddotcom Want to go vegan? Online program helps newcomers get started with tips, menus: The 21-day program offers celebrity... http://bit.ly/b8fGUu

Fasting and Praying - Day 15

God is able to do whatever, no problem is too big. Right? Right !!!! Why have I been underestimating God’s power. I have seen Him work in my life why would He leave me now. He will do it I need to get out of His way. I have been carrying my heart in my hand trying to fix it, I must give my heart to the Lord and pray. I must be careful not to lose Faith.


This morning as I cared for my mom. I realized the importance of eating healthy. She is diabetic, has high cholesterol, high blood pressure and heart condition. The doctors told me if she had not been diabetic the complications after her heart surgery would not have been as complex. He said the diabetics complicated everything. I take her sugar levels before she eats and after and notice that her sugar levels fluctuate depending on what she eats. The healthier she eats the better her levels. Most of my mother’s medical problems are a result of poor eating habits. My father was the same.

I keep this in mind as I shopped this morning at Aldi’s. I shopped for fresh fruit and veggies only. I will snack on some of the grapes. The peppers lovely and reasonably priced. I plan to make a delicious Tofu Stir fry this evening. I have to pick up some portibellos and bean sprouts, yummy, yummy. I had a Amy’s dinner for lunch, excellient choice !!!!

Fasting and Praying - Day 14

"God is STILL worthy" yes, "God is STILL worthy" !!!!

Praise God ! Praise God ! Praise God ! Praise God ! Praise God !

Joel 2:12-14 " Now, therefore, " says the Lord, "Turn to Me with all your heart, With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning." So rend your heart, and not your garments; Return to the Lord your God, For He is gracious and merciful, Slow to anger, and of great kindness; And He relents from doing harm. Who knows if He will turn and relent, And leave a blessing behind Him--A grain offering and a drink offering For the Lord your God ?

Today's sermon was awesome, I needed every word it of. At this point in my Fast the sermon answered many of my questions. I felt the presence of the Lord and He spoke to my heart. God wants to rebuild me and bring me back to Him. I am mourning the loss of my child and right now I am in the angry phase. I recognize it and I am praying for God's help to take me through. Since Day 1 I have been working to rebuild a loving relationship with God. Yes he loves me but I felt forsaken and kicked to the curb. God is still worthy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pastor allowed the Lord to use him and for this I am so grateful. God's people are so awesome !!! I love my NCBF family !!! I have always been blessed with God's favor and I felt he took it away, now I know he wants to bless me again. God I love your favor and seek You.

I sacrifice myself to God's will !!! Lord pour into me the Fruit of the Holy Spirit !!! Thank you for providing this Fast during this season of my life. You are amazingly awesome !!!!

Shout Outs - Praise Team - Total Praise was off the hook - Thank God to Deacon Myron his gift as a worship leader is great. Minister Vann and Sis Vann are truly kind people who are lead by God.